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Ram N Oodle May 2023
She began as a child
With naive hope of a better future
One where her dreams came true
And the darkness of her past kept
Only in words

Yet here she sits today
That same hurt girl
No longer a child
But still with the fire of hope in her
Now holding the same weight but ten fold

She feels like she can no longer move
Crippled by her own self doubt
Stuck in her ways
An illness she thought time could cure
Yet here she remains

May 10 more years pass by
May she stand up and move forward
May she be who she wants to be
May her dreams become real
May she be happier than I
Ram N Oodle Dec 2017
I'm so tired.
From all this weight that you put on me
It's weightless
Countless of them push me down
They become heavy

In my head
I thought that I was strong
Standing tall in triumph

but all along
I was wrong

Because before the weight even got heavy

I turned my head
let my knees bend
and bowed in defeat

What standing strong?
Ram N Oodle Feb 2023
If she was a dove
I was a crow

She, above
I, below

She brought love
I brought woe

She got you
something I could only dream of
I got blue
knowing it was time to let you go
I'm just trying to practice some rhyming.
Ram N Oodle Jul 2022
After you
I thought my world had ended

After you
I figured there would never be another

After you
I was lost

After you
I found him

After you
I am loved in return

After you
There was him
If you were rain
He was a rainbow

Happy endings are always fun
Ram N Oodle Sep 2016
I miss the easier time,
when life was blithe,
when being guarded and held was okay,
when responsibility wasn't so heavy a burden,
when adulthood was a distant future seen at night in sweet dreams,

Then I woke up,
I grew up,
These dreams became a reality, adulthood a few years away,,
Responsibility my shackle for freedom,
a little bird pushed out, still learning to fly,
When life became based on the consequence of action and second chances too few.
I miss the easier time.
Ram N Oodle Dec 2017
Your beauty woke me up
not the one on your face
but your love
your unbelievably
beautiful heart

How could love be so full?
Why do you love me?
Can I love you back?
Wait for me!

                                                     too. late.


                                                         ­                          When my eyes opened
                                                          ­                                           yours closed
                                                          ­                                your heart stopped
                                                         ­                                         At it's last beat
Thump
                                   Thump  
                                                         ­             Thump
                                              ­                                                       I am awake.
This started out as a happier poem... but I decided to have a little bit of fun and make it a bit more somber. Sorry!
Ram N Oodle Mar 2016
Yes.
I lied.
Only because I know.
Would you accept the truth?
No.

Yes.
It's bad.
Because only I know.
Would you forgive me?
No.

Because I know.
Because I hurt.
You are ignorant.
You are pain-free.

Don't make me tell you.
I'll just lie again,
Ram N Oodle Dec 2015
Hello,
I'm behind you now,
we used to be hand-in-hand.
I've been listening to your stories
but now they're getting muter

You're growing up
I'm still the same
You're looking for the future
I'm stuck in the past
You're running forward
I'm dragging myself

Your figure is disappearing,
You left me behind.
I can't see you now.
Silence.
Good Bye.
Ram N Oodle Dec 2014
I hate you.
You push me around.
You mock me.
You say that it's only for my benefit.
Do I look alright to you?

You insult me.
To push me forward,
thinking I'll do just what you're asking for.
You say you love me.
Does love feel like this?

Does love feel, as if every single day.
I'm the one feeling guilty.
I'm the one who gets hurt.
I'm the one who has to keep trudging along,
on the sharp glass of your broken dream.

Must I walk the same ****** path that,
you so kindly laid out?
I don't care?
I keep pushing these feelings down.
Smiling, joking acting like it's normal.

You think you know me.
Do you know what I feel?
You feed me your pointy lies.
I can feel them, scratching my insides.

I bleed and slowly I unravel.
Ram N Oodle Feb 2021
The string that tied us was always heavy
Hung from it was silver and gold
I watched you hug them tight like they were your treasure
But did you look at the one on the other side of that string?
I let you keep it, not sparing me a glance
And I watched you stretch that string
Until it broke
I had chosen you
But you had chosen silver and gold
So I pretended
Pretended we were still tied
The only thing that kept me in this pretense
Was the blood we both shared
Now that they've flown away
far from this misery and fakery I called marriage
It's time I step away
My heart has scattered enough gold
There's nothing holding me back.
Money's a scary thing.
Ram N Oodle Nov 2017
I use many words to build a curtain
My soft wall

You think talent
What I show you is just an illusion
A show within a show

Piece by piece
You'll never know the line between truth and fiction
A fantasy is much more colorful than reality

I use many words to build a curtain
Because a curtain is all I have
Ram N Oodle Dec 2015
Dare me to
jump
dive
fly

I will before
judgement hits
fear restrains

Fight, choke reality.

Dare to dream
and
Dare to reach it.
Ram N Oodle Nov 2017
You are handicapped.
Your heart, it's lacking.
with that hole in your heart
you took your daughter's sight.
you took her heart.
Trapping it in your embrace.
Letting your husband sink into a void.
Where he can no longer distinguish between
the night and the light.
He becomes empty just like you and
soon?
Soon you'll all be like the night
a place where stars were meant to outshine.
Ram N Oodle Dec 2017
Is my dream your dream?
Or is it the dream I dream?
But I have no dream to dream
Because the thing I dream is not a dream
Could this dream be a night mare?
Because I have no dream?
A not dream is only a nightmare
My nightmare is not my dream
But my nightmare isn't your dream
My dream is not that nightmare
What is my dream?
Ram N Oodle Nov 2014
My arms flail around, my legs kick as I try,
Try to reach the surface.
As I try to get out.
I claw at the water,
doing anything I can to
propel myself out of the water.
You stand there.
Oblivious to the water,
you don't see it.
"Stop acting! It's nothing!"
My tears join the substance around me.
You don't see them either.
Can't you see it?
My voice squeaks.
You can't hear the sound of my cries.
My vocal chords muffled by water.
I sink further and further in.
You stand on the land, shaking your head,
disappointed.
Weak and tired, I stop wasting my energy.
My arms shake, trying to reach out to you.
You offer no assistance, thinking that I can just
do it myself, that I just want attention.
Instead the cold hands of darkness close my eyes,
and pull me further into its arms.
How do I get out now?
Ram N Oodle Nov 2014
I entrusted you with a tiny flame
to grow and to protect.
Together we grew it into a bigger one
You held it for me
So that one day I'd take
it back.
Why'd you douse it?
When it was still growing?
When I trusted you with something so important?
To me.
You ended what I believed in,
because you wanted something bigger.
I thought you'd be different.
But like every other shelter of
that little flame,
you failed.
Because you saw something more
magnificent.
You lost sight
of the beauty that you held in
your hands.
So you let
the rain fall through,
your crumbling will
and let it drip on the
growing flame.
So don't ask me for
another.
My match can't light another.
Ram N Oodle Aug 2020
I knew you loved her
Your eyes sang with gold and mouth full of tenderness
You were happy

I was the flower that was easily admired
but quick to rot
easy to throw away and forget

Did you ever realize?
You cut me from my roots
placed me in a vase and left

I had to watch you leave with a smile
She was a flower that bloomed under the light of your smile
I hope you don't pluck her buds as you did mine

I'm no longer a flower.
Ram N Oodle Feb 2018
I was a fool to think
that I had found it
when I was already on paved path
set right in front of me
and all I did was follow it

Now I am lost
when all this time
I thought I was found
I traveled farther into the maze

What a fool.
Ram N Oodle Mar 2016
Is there is reason you must be so manipulative,
deceptive,
backstabbing,
conniving?
Why are your cliques like gangs?
Gangs that cut down dissenters with words as lethal as a bullet.
I want no part of you.
But I swore to this lifestyle too long ago.
Young, naive and too enamored by its mirage.
Bound, stuck, shackled.
Pressured by cowardice.
I stay.
Too unsure of myself.
Too scared to look up.
My eyes ignore and stare at the floor.
Because I have two choices and the one
I choose is the one to survive.
Survive your toxic poison.
I become the person I loathe, hate.
I gossip, backstab, sneer, snicker.
The antidote to you, I'm too frightened to grasp.
Held deep within my pocket, it burns a hole.
The same hole I let it fall through.
I let you taint me .
I poisoned myself.
Ram N Oodle Mar 2013
If you expected so much from me, then why give up on me?
I thought I worked hard enough
But I guess it is never
You're always asking for more
I don't know if I can keep up
And it's like I'm chasing the dust of the wind, left behind
It just feels so hard
Disappointment fits me so well
Don't you see?
All I leave is shame
That trail I seek was never laid out
I'm chasing a dream that crying out
What I can barely hear
What am I here for?
Is there really a life out there for me?
Am I living or just surviving?
I failed you I know, it's all I know to do
Couldn't be the best not even second
Sometimes I aim for your disapproval, sometimes I stop trying
Letting go is so easy, pulling back is so hard
I'm a rubber band that ripped
A bad case of sores
Soft thorns trap my soul
Stuck and hopeless
I remain
as
I
am
Ram N Oodle Oct 2021
Today's buried under the promise of tomorrow
tomorrow's yesterday adrift in delusions
of a future in vain from the inaction of today
the future of today cheated by the yearning of the subsequent
the past a lesson forgotten today yet relived tomorrow
Goodbye yesterday's tomorrow, it's time to lose the present to the future and the future to a present endlessly hallucinating
the progress of another day another time
Going in circles
repeating the same mistakes
oh, procrastination
let me out from your loop

felt cute but might delete later....
Ram N Oodle Oct 2019
I have never truly understood the finality of Goodbye.
I expect hello to follow
even though goodbye was the end
we were parting
I had it attached with expectation
even though we are parting we will meet again

From when I was a child, I was told to say goodbye to my grandparents whenever I left the house
Grandpa liked it that way
He liked to know when we were leaving

I knew exactly when he was leaving
Grandpa liked goodbye's
So this time when it was his turn I would know
Right until the last moment
When the breath left his weary lungs
and his eyes were gently guided closed for the last time

That was goodbye.
This was his end.
Our last goodbye for a long time.
Ram N Oodle Dec 2017
I grab a rock
I carry the rock
I place the rock

to remind myself
that even stone breaks
because you were my rock

and now you're in pieces
I'll put you back together
even if you don't want me to

Because I was the one
who broke you
I'll give you my life

In return
when I piece you back together
grant me this wish

and forget me
Ram N Oodle Nov 2021
I know a love
she isn't sweet
she's the nectar of a flower
whose thorns cut into my lips
when suckling her saccharine syrup
tainted with the metallic bitter zing
of my dripping blood

this is only normal she whispers in my ear
such tenderness
this is love
this is care

I've taken her for my own so
I must pay the sanguine price
How nice!
my battered lips stretch into a bloodied smile
for red is the color of love
it is only natural to bleed for love

I know a love
she isn't sweet
but she is mine
Ram N Oodle May 2021
In our love story
The world was pink
your embrace was my home
quiet nights spent under sheets
each breath with you in mind

The world was beautiful
Cherry blossoms bloomed to the music of our love
thoughts of you followed by bright smiles
pleasure that broke through dawn's light

The world was ours
eyes that only saw each other, lips that only knew us
intertwined in soul in body, with each touch our souls were one
I love you-

The end.
Our love story, it's just a story
Stories end, lives continue
No matter how beautiful
when I wake up we're only strangers.
Let's love again in our dreams. Perhaps this too will fade. A memory I'll forget one day. After all, it too rains in spring. I'll meet you again when the days don't end and the nights have yet to begin.
Ram N Oodle May 2023
I look at myself
I see flaws

You stand right next to me
Scrutinizing, pointing at each one in dissatisfaction

It’s with love that I show you your flaws
I’m making you better

Are you sure it’s me you’re looking at?
Is it me you’re criticizing?

Does it make you feel better to belittle me?
Do you feel better about yourself now?

I blame you and still drown in self hatred
Each word, sent with love drives a stake deeper into my heart

Am I truly in the wrong?

You ask me if I love you
If I care

If I don’t even have room in my heart for myself
Do I have any love to spare?
Ram N Oodle Nov 2014
I'm a lamb dressed in a wolf's skin.
I didn't **** this wolf, I had no power to do such.
I was just there at the right time and at the right place.
I picked up the dead carcass and stripped it of its skin.
Leaving the bones and meat for something else
to find.

I wore this skin and headed to the wolves.
I was greeted and licked.
I threw at them lies,
that were accepted without suspicion.
I ran with the pack.

I made friends.
Friends who could only see my cloak of lies,
I had spun it too beautifully
That it out shined myself,
and soon I was living a lie.

My sheep parents, liked my
clever use of the wolf skin.
They asked me to run with the wolves and eat with them.
I would no longer be prey
I nodded my head.

They too were fooled by the cloak.
My hooves and frail limbs were too frail to run
such distances.
My teeth too blunt to piece the skin of another
animal.
Despite this I could have tried.

I could've tried to build up the endurance,
or sharpen my teeth.
I was living the lie I had spun.
I was lost in my lies.
My cloak had become a light that blinded me

But that blinding light became a beacon to others.
My cloak was admired.
I stood there in my wolf's skin,
pretending to smile.
That I was really living this way.

That I could really run with the wolves,
That I could really eat like the wolves,
That I was one of the pack,
That I was a wolf.
I was all but.

The sheep nagged at me.
They wanted to be the devil
that would raise me, the angel.
Instead they dragged me down,
with the duty that they piled on a back still growing,
and adding more
each time a new octave reached.

So as the wolves ran from the shaking earth
beneath our feet.
I stayed, sitting on the crumbling earth.
The sheep sat with me blindly.
Believing my cloak, they never saw me
They sat there as the crumbling earth dropped
them down into the darkness.

The black pit of my mind,
where no light could shine anymore,
where they fell until they hit
the bottom.
There, I sat waiting for them,
in the wolf skin that I ripped.
Ram N Oodle Jul 2022
To you I'm a ghost
a body of empty comfort
while you seek for her

you're gazing at a reflection in water
ruined with just a touch
always looking for something
you can only experience in glimpses
slipping through your fingers

I'm the candle that burns the smoke you wish to cherish
the wick that you light constantly for ephemeral smoke
a wisp the comforts your heart for seconds at a time
my love a fire repeatedly stoked and extinguished
for your selfish seconds of relief

you're looking through me
when you look into my eyes
a vehicle to transport you her
you're looking in the past
at a different time

In our embrace,
we're both searching for the one thing we'll never get
the warmth of the other

There's no us, it's only you and her.
Ram N Oodle Jan 2022
It's because I'm not her
It's because she's the one and I'm just me
Even if I switched places with her
We would just be friends
It hurts because I’m not her

I’m the one who chases
Whose hand reaches out to remain empty
She’s the lead in your story
The truth is you never left me
I was never a contender
I’m the side character in your backstory
In the background as the sidekick

I could see it in your eyes
No matter how hard I tried
I’m just not her
Yet I see your easy smile
That utter joy in your face
How could I?
How could I want to ruin your love?
Even if I wanted to hate her I couldn’t
Because I could see it
I know you so well I can understand
I can’t be her
I’ll never be her
And you’ll never be mine
#1 in a series of love poems
Ram N Oodle Jan 2018
Is it strange that I thought the world would stop?
Was I too arrogant?
To think my presence here
me
me!
living
alive
would mean so much more?
That it would stop for a second in acknowledgement?
I'm dead!
I thought I would matter more
Heck! BE more!
there has to be more significance
I'm important!
That my memory would be more searing
that I would leave a mark
a scar at the least
Was I too selfish to think my death would change you?
That your smile would never return
because I was the reason
you smiled?
You should be sad for eternity!
You're not allowed to smile!
You're not allowed to walk on like nothing!
You're not allowed to slowly forget me!
You're not allowed to go about your life like normal!
Why do you get to live while I have to lay
six feet under?
Am I selfish to think this way?
Am I too conceited to think that I meant more?
That the world would stop when I was gone?
How cruel
nothing happened
My existence ends right there
cut short and now I'm nothing but
memory
photograph
video
writing
even though I died
The world still turns
it still turns
The musings of a dead high school student.
Ram N Oodle Sep 2016
And they stayed dreams
continued to be nothing
nothing but a wish
full of thinking
with no result of doing.
Ram N Oodle May 2021
Run, run little birdy
go as far as you can
faster, hurry!

The farther the better
the problems you've left behind
you can't handle the pressure

The fake sun you seek
is only a mirage
an easy way out from the problems you've wreaked

You should know you're meant to fly
Yet why
why can't you understand it was you sigh
who took yourself from the sky.
Birds can't survive without their wings.
Ram N Oodle Sep 2016
Little girl! Little girl!
Where are you?
Little girl! Little girl!
Come back!
Little girl! Little girl!
Please.



Please. I-


I need you.
I know I left you.
But I need you back.
Ram N Oodle Nov 2017
Slender fingers the played with soul
Black                                 black   black
            White      White
Tender lips bare a voice bathing my heart
staining it with it's sound
Singing a song that beats the rhythm of my heart
Thump.

                 Thump.

                                  Thump.
With every strum possessed by your sound
my fingers bleed, a pain registers in the heart.
Do you hear that?
Do you heart that? Our music. Our harmony. Our souls.
My sound, my soul, my spirit they're yours.
Why is our music so silent?

                                      you're not mine.
I was watching a documentary earlier this week. It was about a deceased singer. One of the interviews in the documentary was her guitarist/ band leader. As he was talking about her I thought that he sounded like he had an unrequited love. The singer has long passed and had a very eventful and not-so-happy life. I felt that there was a real pain that he had to watch her like this and to still love her to this extent. I don't know if she ever knew but here's my take on his feelings. Try to figure out who this is about! The title gives you hint!
Ram N Oodle Sep 2020
They say to find yourself
I found myself lost
I know I can leave
I keep myself here at a cost

Self worth
it decreases with my inaction
but I find that inertia keeps me complacent
when I am lost I can hide from my troubles
my fears not existent

You see I'm not lost in position temporally or spatially
I'm lost in my ways
I know who I am
Just not what I want to be

I have a road but I don't want to pick a direction
yet the more I wait
the bumpier and uglier the road gets
what if it's gone one day?

Then...

Then I'll truly be lost.
Ram N Oodle Apr 2021
Look I know my own shortcomings very well.
I procrastinate.
I’m lazy.
I have no ambitions.
But there comes a time when you should look inside yourself and look at your own flaws.
I am not your mirror.
Something to yell at because you see yourself and what you could have been.
I have my own demons and flaws that I acknowledge.
It’s time you acknowledge yours.

I don’t understand what makes it so hard for you to understand
That taking someone’s flaws and mocking them with it
Constantly pulling out their weaknesses again and again
Day after day and then comparing them to others
Is not a way to motivate someone
To reach the heights you dreamt them to soar
No what you’re doing is asking a chained and caged bird to fly high
What height?
How high?
To a sky I can’t see?
Because I’m stuck in the darkness of my own self hate, self pity

Guilt is not your weapon to wield
My wounds are not your higher purpose
You do not seek to heal
You say it’s for my own good
But why do you say I used to be so much better than then
Yet they were able to reach such heights?
Is this some kind of cruel punishment that I deserve?
Is it not your own face you’re trying to save?
While stepping on my pride, my being, my person?

I’m trying to be a better person
Next to you
I’m lesser than
I’m just no one.
Ram N Oodle Nov 2017
I am lost.
I'm not trying to find myself,
because I'm too scared of seeing a clone.
I don't want to be the same.
Yet, my path is one so identical to another
it's undeniable.

Same color
Same end
Same road
Same one

So I choose to be lose because I'm not going to be finding that path
I'm going to be making it
Because being lost is the only way I'm going to be found
Ram N Oodle Nov 2020
I live in wondrous worlds but none my own.
Reality is the nightmare from which I awake.
The lives I choose to live are but a fantasy.
Dreams are fleeting; my world is absolute.
Time stops in the make-believe.
It can only tick without end, for
that is life.
Ram N Oodle Feb 2023
No,
I don't know love
because love is pain
it's a body that doesn't fit
it's a aspiration that can't be touched

Love is a ticket
to travel down guilt
guided by lights lit with gas
with a relentless hand pushing
to end up at someone else's destination

No,
love is written in ink
to be read on a page
love is a scene acted out
to be enjoyed on screen.

I don't know love, not like it was meant to be.
Ram N Oodle Dec 2021
Do you know what's most heart breaking about growing up?
When the sand castles built in your youth are
eroded by the waves of time
When the card tower built on childish whimsical fantasy
tumbles down when dealt the hand of reality
Then the world turns from the magical into the mundane

The wonder is lost quickly as the transient towers of naivety break
What else can it do but break?
It's foundations were steeled by a faith in an illusion so strong it became concrete
When the faith is challenged and it is lost, the illusion becomes realized and the tower falls

Just like the sunset of yesterday, the miracle of adolescence becomes a beautiful memory
Lost quickly to the tides of time and is gifted just once
Never to be experienced again but whose evanescent beauty is indelibly burned into the heart
A reverie once simply just life

This road of life is one way
The only direction is forwards
We're limited to looking back through the glass of the present
Do you now what's most heartbreaking about growing up?
It's when you've realized what you've lost
when you've already lost it
I was trying to make a poem to accompany the line about sand castles that I thought of randomly. Who knew I would crank out such a sad poem?
Ram N Oodle Jan 2016

This is really nothing.
Ram N Oodle Oct 2019
Laying there eyes glazed unfocused,
I wonder
What do you see?
Do memories flash across your eyes?
Memories of your hometown.
when you were younger
Your family some who have passed and few who are still living
The heat and humidity of your hometown ruled under a regime you fought against passionately yet futilely
The trek through the ocean to freedom, to the free world with your two younger sons
Or do you see them now grown up?
Your sons and daughters now parents
Their children now adults
They bustle around you busy as you lay still
chest heaving, body tired, breath light
phones ring
nurses come past
an anticipation pungent in the air
a sadness pervades the house
love fills the surroundings
as cries slice through the air
your family watches you and
you are no longer looking back.
It's been 5 years since I last wrote the poem Old Man Sitting. Here is an update.
Ram N Oodle Nov 2014
Sitting there looking at that window,
I wonder.
What do you see?
The trees of a jungle, vines hanging down.
A peaceful green sanctuary.
Exotic birds, chirping and flying through the air
in a whirlwind of panic.
The roar of an airplane passing overhead.
Screams cutting through the air like a knife.
The warm metal held tightly on your hands, fingers on
the trigger.
Looking down, at the jungle floor, you don't
even flinch.
The jungle floor, drenched in blood and the
bodes of the fallen.
Death, its stench wafted in your nose.
The image fades away,
to a bright sunny morning.
The tree branches swaying with
the soft breeze.
Your gaze shifts to the two backpacks.
Long black hair swinging back and forth.
Muted laughter ringing into
your silence.
Your grandchildren,
walking off to school.
Ram N Oodle May 2016
Once upon a time we were happy,
Maybe I was foolish then to think we were happy,
I was young and still naive.
I would never know the problems that would manifest with age
With every year that passes,
another piece chips away.
Sometimes, I'm fooled.
You scoff, but I thought we were happy.
I forgot our problems, I was blind to see the crack.
I turned away from the empty space.
You can't deny that, because you chose to ignore them.
Every year that went by,
every kiss, every hug, every conversation
We lied to ourselves.
We thought that we were happy,
we thought-
We didn't pay attention to
Our problems, our lies, our secrets, our misery.
Why do we lie?
When this time we were happy becomes a once upon a time,
can we say that it was happiness?
The heart behind the shell of our bodies
It bled.
It became so void that we couldn't see.
Now here we are you and me,
smiling like we shouldn't be.
Ram N Oodle Dec 2015
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Ram N Oodle Dec 2015
I'm scared
I'm a mess.
Can you help me? Hello?
Please! Anyone!
I-I-I can't! say no.
My throat is raw
My knuckles red
My heartbeat racing
I scream
HELP! HELP!
She
Ram N Oodle Feb 2023
She
She
is the ghost that haunts me
She
is the villain that thwarts me
She
is the shadow that never leaves me
She
is the monster that keeps me
She
is the person that I see
She
is the ene(me).
We are our own greatest obstacles and enemies.
Ram N Oodle Jul 2022
She caught your eye with just a glance
While I racked my brain to chase you
To come up empty every time
Yet all it took her was a "Hi"
I used to think was I not enough
What did I lack?

But I know the answer now
It’s simple yet it’s cruel
Im not her
I’m sure I’ll never be her

10 years of chasing
A delusion I dreamt up myself
One you didn’t share
Because I’ll never be the one

I know the answer now
It’s simple yet it’s cruel
It’s realizing im not her
It’s me you cannot love

Your eyes follow her the minute she enters the room
I practiced a thousand times to have you turn my way
Why does your heart come so easy to her?
When it’s like grabbing at air to hold in my hands?

But I know the answer now
It’s simple yet it’s cruel
I’m not her
I’m me and that’s ok but that’s means I won’t have you

Maybe I’ll tell you one day
But seeing her dress and that look you have on your face
It’s better you didn’t know
These feelings they’ll stay with me
Where they have been and always will be

I know the answer now
It’s simple yet it’s cruel
I’m not her
No, I’ll never be her
#2 in a series of love poems kind of similar to the first one
Ram N Oodle Sep 2020
I live in between the wisps of dreams and echoes of stories
I am man
I am woman
I am thing

I live in countries, planets, solar systems, universes, realms and times
I fly on mounts of wondrous creatures
I fight wars of bloodshed wielding scheme, sword, and sentence
I fall in love

Yet I die with "The End"
because the life I live it's not my own
It's a collection of words, it's a collection of images
It's fiction

When "The End" is here, I am me
And my problems become mine
Reality must be acknowledged
But here as me is the last thing I want to be
Finding an escape yet running away from problems... or just procrastination.
Ram N Oodle Jan 2020
this isn't love
this isn't love
this isn't love

What you have is a problem
your insecurities I don't want them on my shoulder
they're not mine to carry

you say you don't compare
you're just giving me a model to follow
but I can't be everything you've dreamed of

this isn't care
this isn't care
this isn't care

You say that it's all for me, what about my feelings?
every day is another problem with me
another complaint

my face
my body
my life

is there anything else you'd like to complain about?
Whatever do I have left for you to nitpick at?

What you want isn't me but your ideals
I'm sorry
I can't accept this kind of love, it's selfish and corrupt.

this isn't love
this isn't love
this isn't love.
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