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Rachel Dyer Feb 2017
Our love is soap.
Our love is clean clothes on the dryer by the radiator.
Our love is coffee and cream with a spoonful of hope.
Our love is a gammon roast and a baked tater.
Our love is clean dishes and foamy dish rags.
Our love is fighting for the water in a tiny shower.
Our love is our journeys to the grocery store with all our reused plastic bags.
Our love is watching you play video games hour after hour.
Our love is lemon flavored body wash getting in my eyes.
Our love is being too stubborn to quit.
Our love is the thought of me leaving making me unable to cope.
Our love is getting up and sorting it.
Our love is soap.
All my memories of you smell like the soap we use.
Rachel Dyer Feb 2017
Once again torn in two.
To go or stay.
To love or hate you.
Struggling to keep the doubts at bay.

It seems so silly to have so much pain,
we were so willing to throw it all away,
just yesterday,
can I really erase that from my brain?

Why is it when the sun shines I want to be here?
Why can't I stay mad at you my dear?
I go from wanting to hurt you,
to sticking to you like glue.

What is it about this place?
Making me at once both miserable and complete?
Maybe it is the pain that makes my heart race.
Maybe I'm an addict, making happiness a herculean feat.
Rachel Dyer Jan 2017
She had been deep in slumber,
this little beast of mine.
Buried deep within where she would cause no trouble.
Curled within my hips just at the base of my spine.
I feel her unwind, my stomach begins to bubble.

I have been covering her over for so long now.
Afraid of who might see her.
But now I no longer know how.
Because all of my lines have begun to blur.

I know you may see an easy mark.
Something fun and light.
But all it would take is one little spark.
To catch her on fire and make your world bright.

She has been silent for so long.
Now her claws drag behind my silent lips.
She crouches haunches arched... she is so strong.
Right and wrong have become an eclipse.

It seems wrong to continue to deny her.
She is pleasure, she is pain, she is starving.
And it's your fault she now begins to stir.
Widdled away my resistance she is carving.
Rachel Dyer Jan 2017
If I could just keep my mouth shut.
I can feel my better judgment shaking her head.
A knot is forming in my gut.
No one cares about where you've been, what you've seen, what march you led.
I ache to be poised, to shine like a beacon of grace.
Instead, I watch eyes glaze over.
Because let's face it no one can keep pace.
Keeping me calm is like finding a four leaf clover.
I just want to curl into a corner and hide.
Because I just can't do mysterious and I dread normal.
My mind just likes to take everyone for a ride.
I just want to bring everyone in, no need to be formal.
I just wish I could sometimes keep my mouth shut.
Rachel Dyer Jan 2017
She stood by the window, half obscured by the steam.
She watched him lean against the brick, his shoulders hunched against the bitter wind.
One light shone down and his face was caressed by the beam.
What a beautiful stranger, a succulent muse.
Her gaze turned down to the maze of crumpled papers, all ideas she had binned.
Thousands of ink drops and nothing she could use.
Nothing that told of the battle inside.
Nothing was purging her soul.
She felt his gaze on her then but she didn't feel the need to hide.
She let his eyes linger and she felt he could see all her years and their toll. But under his gaze, for a split second, she felt whole.
Her attention turned to the music that played distantly below.
Her head rolled back and her lids fell heavy.
But her hips moved in time with the beat, and the rhythm began to grow.
It was the first time in a long time she had danced, and her heart lifted its levy.
Her body swayed and her lips parted with the words.
And she felt the draining of the swamp that had settled heavy in her chest.
He watched her dancing in the window and his laughter lifted like birds.
It settled on her ears and brought her mind some rest.
She picked up the pen and began to write, all thanks to the stranger in the night.
Sometimes dreams give us the best poems
Rachel Dyer Jan 2017
Do it! the devil cries.
He looks me right in the eyes.
My mind begins to twist around gentle sighs.
I watch you move and I feel my hunger rise.
I yearn for you, my desire, my prize.
I feel my breath shorten, the tremble in my thighs.
My better judgment dies.
My needs are wrapped in a clever guise.
I am calm and sweet, and these aren't lies,
they are my last attempts at salvation before my demise.
I turn my eyes to the skies,
hearing the angel on my right begin to chastise.
Be still my devil replies.
I cannot tell if I am being foolish and unwise,
or if this is life at its best in a dangerous disguise.
I suppose for now it remains a surprise.
I bite my lip hard, sliding my hand over the butterflies,
as I begin to fantasize.
Hanging on your every word because I love what it implies.
Now it is a fight against the sunrise,
as bodies harmonize.
Rachel Dyer Jan 2017
It was only for a moment that I let you in my head.
Long enough for my cheeks to turn red.
Just a moment of weakness took me by surprise.
And I thought of the glimmer in your brown eyes.
The thought slid down my spine with a shiver.
Then the bumps crawled down my skin like a river.
Holding onto the feeling all day.
Sin is seductive what can I say.
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