Her voice plays over the songs of the angels
And I smile

I saw it on the internet and it wrenches in my heart how I can hear how your voice sounds,
Each simple melody,
Each wish expressed through tone,
Without ever meeting you.
Suicide letter
The voice talks about how the fight isn’t over just because yours is,
You say that things are getting better
But I look in the mirror and think that someday it might be me
Suicide letter
I can hear you smile as you tell me “not to be sad,”
But I wipe my tears on the sleeve of my sweater
I scream in the wind to never forget her,
And I can hear you screaming next to me

It’s not pain, but it won’t go away
This feeling when I catch your gaze
There’s a pit in my stomach
But I can handle it
I can’t handle this obligation

The sharpness that they hated
The egotistical smirk
The love that smears but doesn’t lift
It’s in my blood.

She makes me feel alive
I can imagine the way she smiles from her words
I want to see it myself

There’s nothing more beautiful than that little notification bubble
Because it means someone saw you

I can’t remember when I stopped being me,
And he stopped being him,
And we became “us”

I remember when we called ourselves enemies:
How his lips twitched up menacingly with every snarl, promising more the next time I crossed him.
how he used to flick his hair over his shoulder when he looked over his shoulder at me,
His stupid nicknames, that existed solely to provoke a reaction that I was all too happy to give to his beautiful face.

I remember when we were a little bit more:
How he would yell every time I beat him at Mario Kart.
How he teased me when he took me to the beach for the first time and I tried to taste the sand,
When ordered for me in French when I wasn’t sure what to get.

I remember when we were unmistakably more:
When I felt indescribable as his hands traced a seam on my sweater.
How he shone at golden hour, coated in gold and looking like God’s gift to the sinners.
How his eyes flashed to me whenever there was something, anything, just slightly off
How he knew everything I thought without telling him.
He held my life in his hands, almost letting me fall but always catching me just in time
I was honest with him and he trusted me

And even when golden hour passed
And hour gaming console broke
And he cut his hair
And he stopped going to the french restaurant by the sea with me
He still loved me
And I had his love tattooed on my heart