once lost?
once hurt?
then I decided I would contact you
reveling in thoughts
what am I to say?
what will I say?
what would I say?

I entered your doors prepared to say
but the look on your face
said you needed me not words
how cold I could have been to you?
only to realize that i needed you too

then we sat down to start
where you began
I listened and heard
but your words said more of you
than of me
realizing you were telling me
you needed me
while I needed you

touched for a moment
but pulled away too soon to know
waking up I thought I couldn't feel again
I wished that I could immortalize the moment
only to realize that I'm some distance from you

had the moment not lasted
then it wouldn't have been a moment to remember
a moment to last
something you gave
and something you shared

you wouldn't have stopped yourself
even if you tried
your love I wanted
your love I needed
knowing in both ways loving while giving
but not realizing or even knowing you were doing so

Miles apart
But cities away
Today?
A place where once we met
Some distance in time
Memories that never faded but lasted

Seemed to be?
Or meant to be a lifetime with you?
I couldn't tell!
Yet I think of you everyday
Reach out to you in every way
In ways that you might want
Not to bring you closer
But to show you love will conquer

I'd hold him near
bear his children
a boy for me
and a girl for him

Today we're miles apart
but close at heart
near or far?
we are never apart

boy or girl?
we love!
male or female?
we love!
same *** or different sexes?
we love!
one or the other?
we love!

Tonight I found out I wasn't for me
But for someone else
He isn't perfect
But he's mines
I'm not perfect either
But I'm his

I waited almost half my life to find him
But I didn't know it would be him
Mines and only mines
A man I've come to know
A man I've come to love

Then what could all this mean?
Is it a turning point for both of us?
Or is it the time to realize that we are meant to be together?
Or to be there for each other?
Or you tell me?

moments of darkness that turned into hours
hours would turn days
days would turn into months
using would bring darkness
while numbing the light

even in light there would be more darkness
not seeing what was ahead
but only seeing what it didn't have for me
a future that was my past

more darker time with regrets
loosing money, time, and a place called mines
I crumbled!
then I cracked
the pillars that held my world up came tumbling down on me

turning to the bottle would be the answer
drinking every last drop
and drinking even more
until I stumbled
I could no longer hold myself up
I crashed and burned