Head exploding
life seems too fast
to find out what I'm thinking
I wonder if my strength
is going to last.

I crawled into bed
with you last night
first time in years
we've been segregated
by my exhaustion
and my fears.

To feel your flesh again
made my headache worth it
but nothing will take away
the ache that I feel
for the love of myself.

Self acceptance is what I need
I'm better than I thought
but the lingering mistrust
of how I'm going to be
scuppers me at every turn.

If I could just relax
on the inside
and let my self be happy
I think I would be happier.

I see you on our Little Planet
doing your lives
being human
being something like me
living your life
what is that?
life?
it seems to be a complete miracle...

I myself am in favour of our survival
and to see where it all ends up
like one giant experiment
with ourselves
we keep exploring
each other
and ourselves
until the end of time...

whenever that is?

Gaping wounds;
holes the size of planets
open wide within
dreams, all the darkness
the sweet longing I cannot feel
in my day comes forth.

And everything about me
has changed, dream-scape
confidence of body
and desire pouring
from my *****
into the image of you
my animus, my beautiful projection
that only exists in my mind.

Sweetly I kiss you
down to your navel
glancing up, teasing
dreams borrow from me
truth and reality
and embellish with
dark tendrils of
***** desire.

I am earthbound angel
indeed, fleshy wanton
rivers flow freely in
sleep's realm, relieving
and balancing
the stifled tensions
of the waking world
safe inside my head.

13th July 2015

Through dreamy landscapes
Mind travels
Between god
And the sky
My spirit revels
In new found freedom
Thought flight
Now safe
The barbed wire gone
No longer am I snagged
Upon the electric strands
Of fear
That held me
For so long.

Sat with you
I feel like home
kind of different
than before
than ever before
so different, me
to what I know
what I assumed was me
without realizing
I was living
someone else's dream

Gone overboard
my excitement overtaking
me expressing how I feel
has made those around me reel
I'm trying not to beat myself up
for being the person I am being
can't always do the right thing
if I don't know what it is
that I'm avoiding
am I avoiding the truth of something?
like I should change the way I'm being?
reality creating before our eyes
spinning round and round
it's no surprise
because as we hurtle through space
at so many miles per hour
I have to ask what is real
is it only about the way I feel?
and you, where do you fit in?
I can't go back, I can only begin
to try and understand
how to fix this...

Thank you Amiee
for your sweet friendship
from across the water
you keep me smiling
with your missives
from silly to sublime
just like me
you smile and glide
on yogic seas
inside your mind
fellow poet
art lover
and fan of mine!

we share notes and wisdom
updates too
you keep me on track
and I think about you
mysterious lady
I've never seen your face
yet you infuse my days
with humour and grace

new friend from the net
whom I've never seen
may your days be of joy
and your feeling serene.

it's really really really ******* hard
but we do it anyway
making up rules as we go
then breaking them because we can
who's to stop us
now that we are in charge?