Failure to communicate


I think about all the lonely people and think that life begins at first
You might be one of those lonely people with a sensitive heart trying to avoid all trouble because you know it ******* hurts
When you're one of those lonely people no one wants to know what your problems are worth
As a child I stood cold and lonely watching children playing and laughing but I didn't know them at all which made it worse
I sat in classes ignored by teachers so I'd look out of the windows were the sun warms me then as the sun beamed in I would just let my eyes slowly close and purse
This carried on through out my teenage years just looking and dreaming and sighing and fleeting something to avert what was work in an old dusty joiners shop with faces all disturbed by my presence I was cursed
My hands didn't do what my mind was thinking and when I was thinking I wasn't thinking of what I was supposed to so one Christmas I left with mutual consent versed
I joined the armed forces aged 18 years and begun to realise that there are lonely people and I fitted the army purpose
I was on a driving range and my head was full of what ifs and relieved my semi automatic weapon to my corporal and stood at the end of the line that silence was like a light bulb had burst
A few weeks later I dis-charged myself after taking an overdose of paracetamol that I had procured from a nurse
I was in self destruct mode and everything I tried taking or doing just made my mind feel much deeper depression thoughts grew into nightmares of misery from anarchistic mirth
I lost love for this country and I lost love for the earth.

Colourful virtues

I see the sun set over barley
I see black horses playing in the rain
I have Angels dancing with my brain
It feels just like a movie with stained glass windows and a Gothic eeriness to the church purposefully ingrained
All the colours make a picture to again provoke some pain
Twelve men dressed in purple pass me by with a golden cross aloft like a symbolistic nuclear bomb that was so vain
Simple men have virtues some of them can only be described as colours so gather them together and forget about the blame.

Lucidity

Slips down your fingers like a woman you undress
I know the feeling well and it's coming I guess
Asleep for a while of dreams that I can never confess
Motionless and happy for a while with the life I've been blessed
To see things how they could be if only I had money and a desk
Running from ones self is a journey of life and of deaths
Turn around and go back but you can't so you give it a rest
I'm sitting right here in the house that I love the best
So don't come around here because I'll send God to give you the final test.

My friends embarrassing moment.
Some people's minds whirl around all the time to make things fine
It's getting stranger all the time
It's getting stranger all the time
I sat in a suit drinking some soup with a partner of mine
As if I would be commiting a sort of crime
If I wore jeans and a T'shirt with I am trying to be different written on it ;I hope you do not mind ;
I heard the manager call the police and they said" tell him he is walking a very thin line"
Now just leave and we will be sending you in the post the attire you should be wearing if you travel and want to sit and dine"
Patronised enough I looked in the mirror of the restaurant and realised I was naked all the time and the other people did'nt like to say but your ***** is in my eye line
I was a victim of a criminal that had stripped me of my identity I find
I did a few selfies with a bottle of plonk two waiters and some spaghetti some banana custard and a piece of ham then my friend came back from the toilet and we swiftly left as he whilst peeing spilled some over the bowl and was too embarrassed so felt nothing left but to incline to leave.

Grasp

All the leaves are travelling north
Make small tornados with strong winds along the path
Energy circling like the hands of time all around us happens so fast
Sometimes gives notions of birds in motion flying home after all at last
A season of dark nights are coming with long shadows that stretch and cast
A ship on the seas flies it's flag as battering waves try to sink her and her mast
Wild like a banshee she tears down trees then come the floods angry not to have appeased the power aghast
It all starts with a single spinning jenny on a sole tree that drops and flies as the light breeze grasps.

Confession

Shapes melt away when nothing is clear
When words said remind you you're not really here
The only things that stop you is that nothingness out weighs the fear
I see pictures of people fighting for the one thing I don't hold dear
I think you can tell by my demeanour that I am always close to  tears
I just want to see your face and know that the end is near.

A walk to Home

Watch the fishes run on stream underneath the sun
Reflections have become a picture of yellow dandelion
Hear the birds they crow for food inside their young
Light breeze bows the corn as horses play for fun
Footpaths stretching long going everywhere beyond
I walk across fields and roam till the road I end upon
The brambles trail near the telegraph pole but the stream beneath me carries on under a bridge beside the rail station
Beyond that the stream goes low underneath were the rocks mix with stone and you can hear it as the silence on the street beneath the stream finds it's way to home.