veronica: Favorites

Jan 2016 veronica

aj

everything is present tense now,
you, me, them, us, standing
crying, laughing, creating
me, thinking of things to say,
but now i won’t bite my tongue
(at least, not as much)
and now i’ll hope that i can forgive myself
for being open
“why would you feel guilty about your own happiness?”
a **** good question, the answer to which
is one long scream of
BECAUSE I ALWAYS HAVE AND I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ELSE
over and over again until even the void of the night sky
screams it back at me
(i can find perseus now, and taurus,
but cassiopeia is still my broken queen,
and i still see my eyes reflected in the seven sisters)
i hope i can forgive myself
for not selling myself short anymore,
for keeping my own heart warm,
for not pretending to be a Me i no longer believe in
(she deserves better!!!! i yell at myself)
(she always did!!!!! i yell back)

#new #year #reinvention

Jan 2016 veronica

chemistry

Jan 2016 veronica

aj

chemistry

limiting reactant: that’s you & that's me
both of us standing on a cliff,
neither of us jumping
is this chemistry worth the kind that will decompose our hearts at the bottom of the ocean
or the kind that burns my empty hands

ideal law: ideally, breaking it
you're in the driver's seat, wrist on the wheel
our pulses driving the car and pulsing in the floorboards
speed, velocity, distance,
the physical sciences
(my lipstick distracts you from the road)

balancing equations:
you: black flame, glistening furiously
me: god knows what i am but clear and soft
disaster: the explosion is all-consuming, a violent display of reactivity and fire
people stand in awe, wishing they could be destroyed by something so beautiful

#science #romance #chemistry #sensory

Jan 2016 veronica

my instructions are short and simple

Jan 2016 veronica

aj

my instructions are short and simple

i. WATER: straightforward enough just make sure she can breathe still; not just the kind in her throat, she needs the ocean, a spirit somehow both constant and ever-changing; you may try to hand her the umbrella but it'll never work, she'd rather drink the sky and wear it in her hair than anything else

ii. FOOD: keep it on hand; lemonade, strawberries, coffee and donuts, pasta; don't get it confused with thought, don't refrigerate a monet, don't put haring in the cabinet; she'll drag you to the museums but i swear it'll be worth it when you see her full and bright and alive against those canvases

iii. WARMTH: wrap her up in your arms every second you see her; wear your favorite cologne and i guarantee she will notice every time; she rises for the sun but lives for the stars, don't forget about the way she turns her face to the sky every time she goes outside; her glow is strong but every so often she'll need a little bit of yours to stay alive

#art #structure

Dec 2015 veronica

All Is Lost - Horribly Lost

Dec 2015 veronica

aar505n

All Is Lost - Horribly Lost

All is lost - horribly lost.
A terrible break within.

Let the rain pour.
Let the wind blow.
What does it matter now?
All is lost - horrible lost.

Stars shine darkly over me
And the wine-dark sea.
How much can a man endure
Before he finds himself below crimson waters?
A terrible break within.

Unbridled egoism is blocked
By the tyranny of the clock
Sound of feet and clicking pens
Locks one in a dark cage.
All is lost - horribly lost.

Don't ask me to hold up the world as
The collective weight of despair
Only crushes my darkly twisted reality.
Leaving me gasping for air.
A terrible break within.

I am a host to all I have endured.
The tears shed now frost on the memory
That haunts me the most -
Floats around more ghostly than a ghost.
All is lost - horrible lost.

How can one win against original Sin?
Sin slithering beneath skin
And pins your soul down.
There's no positive spin,
A terrible break within.

So now I pay the steep cost.
Allow the coldness to seep in.
*All is lost - horribly lost.
A terrible break within.

This is the day where my sanity finally broke in Reason.

#love #sad #depression #life #death #lost #mind #despair #hopelessness #heroes

Dec 2015 veronica

Vacant Vases

Dec 2015 veronica

Nevermind

Vacant Vases

Sitting on your bedroom floor
We opened our minds and closed the door
Opening up a crumpled foil
In porcelain boats we abandoned the shore
Sailing whirlpool seas, setting out to explore
These dizzy brains stuck in our heads
That whisper things
We wish we were dead
Time dripping like candle wax
Twitching oxygen in laughing gas
Snow angels in clothes on the floor
The world warps into a meadow of answers
A collection of open doors

How beautiful it is
The ability to live
Diving into pools
Of papers and clips
Hissing serpents slithering up the wall
Shape shifting into watchful owls
Soft beckoning calls
Water spilling in through cracks
Freezes in ice, cool and black
Thawing into toxic waste
Trembling numbers and calendar dates
Escaping my body through bursted stitches
I can still remember your name

Nov 2015 veronica

dating a writer

Nov 2015 veronica

Kj

dating a writer

dating a writer
is like guessing the weather.
you think you know what you'll get,
but you never do.

you never know
because

she'll create a hero
from your weaknesses

and she'll write a great character,
from every last flaw.

she'll create a thousand plots
from your worst nightmares.

she'll take every last thing you hate
and create something you'll love.

she'll turn your anger
into confessions of adoration,

and she'll make you,
everything you're not.

but worst of all,
she'll leave you wondering-
is it you she's in love with,
or things she's created from you?

but here's the beauty of it:

if you date a writer,
you'll never die.

Nov 2015 veronica

"*M*"

Nov 2015 veronica

Chase Ramsey

"*M*"

Blush.
That’s what he'd call her
Because she’d walk next to him
without a problem in the world and she'd
Blush.
She’s always so happy.
She never spoke of struggle,
and when he'd ask about her day she would only
Blush.
She had the most gentle eyes.
Enough to assure him that
everything will be okay when and when she would
Blush
it told him that the days weren’t nightmares
and the nights without sleep wouldn’t be as long
and suddenly he had fallen in love with her
Blush.
…
…
...
His cheeks now resembled hers,
but he hadn’t heard from her for a few days
and he had began to miss her and her benevolent
Blush.
The visual of her face would run through his mind
and concentration was not an option without her
Blush.
The nightmares were back during during the day
and the nights were longer than ever without her
Blush.
He hadn’t slept for a week.
Insomnia had found it’s way back to him
and he’d counted every second not spent with her.
…
…
...
Pain
was the only thing she knew.
Her best friend was no friends at all.
She didn’t tell anyone about her
Pain
because she feared they would feel what she did.
She only cared for others because she was told
that she was a lost cause by herself and the other.
The other who could not see her
Pain
and herself who was convinced that it was true.
The other who was blind to the beauty behind the
Blush.
Or was it? The blush, was it true?
The sustained red that lied upon her cheeks.
He was told that all of her happiness
was too much to contain, so there it rested.
And she never wore makeup because she knew of her beauty
and had nothing to hide; no shame, nor
Pain.
…
…
...
The other.
The one who would tell her lies
and convince her that she was not going to be happy.
The other.
The one who was blind to this masterpiece
and only used her as an emotional punching bag.
The other
who did not stop at emotional,
The other
who made sure the “blush" would stay.
The other*
who was only missing one letter.

-CR

(written for a dear friend who was neglected by her mother)

#pain #beauty

Nov 2015 veronica

Braindead at 5:42:08pm

Nov 2015 veronica

hollowings

Braindead at 5:42:08pm

I originally wrote "its funny" as the first line
however I dont think
its funny
I started liking you far too long ago
and I got stuck on the Argo sailing
in sorrow under the statue of Rhodes.
I started writing a poem a day
just to impress you and I realized that
i only ever impressed myself

You like our car side conversations
maybe because I keep good company
or maybe because you were actually interested
in the hopelessness that
I am.
I start to make you a black hole
and I am past the event horizon.
Sunlight only escapes through my words.
My open lips meet your parted sentences
cut short by the warmth of human breath.

I made you into poetry
but I should have followed my sisters advice
and not smashed you into my poetry books
I should not have swirled the words of your
glassy blue eyes into golden threads
binding ancient books.
Thats where I went wrong.
I cared to much.
Our path wasnt a lambda where two paths meet to make one
we were an x
bold on the page but
only crossing for a mere moment.

I dont regret any of it. I just wish
you knew that I meant all of it.
Pretty poems
and movies on weeknights.

Masquerades hiding our feelings.
I never even asked where you stood.
What your mask meant.
What it was hiding.
I showed up to the ball dressed like art
and you were cinderella
waiting for her prince charming.
I shatter glass slippers.
and arrange the fresh fragments into
an ugly spectacle
of futility.

We are schrodingers cat
locked in a box.
Im just afraid that I am pandora
and that the hope of us died
when I observed the radioactivity within.
Cancer cells on skin
you called them cute moles.

I guess I kinda just wanted you to be mine,
and I always knew
that
Good guys
stay stuck at home
watching star wars box trilogies.
Dreaming of their Leia.
Id rather be George Lucas. I think.

This stopped making sense to me the moment
That I decided to make it about you
so Im going to end it

here.

SRS

#love

Nov 2015 veronica

Late at Night Phone Calls

Nov 2015 veronica

Kaitlyn A Warnken

Late at Night Phone Calls

The crack in your voice as you said good bye
And hanging up I heard you cry.
It hurt to know that you hurt too
and the fact that I don't want to lose you.

I do not authorize the duplication(s) of my writings, photography, or personal information.

#love #depressing #fear #sad #depression #life #lonely #anxiety #scared #family