Funny how this isn’t so, because as I was slowly becoming like you, but you never really thought of becoming like me. As I kept breaking your walls, you kept building new ones. During those times I managed to create a small crack that reached upon you. However, you never stopped building them up that I couldn’t keep up no matter how much I wanted to.

I know that I was all that you wanted but many shadows filled your room, and so as I tried so very hard to fix it, you asked me not to. Now I know you’re so much better, even if you’re not completely fixed. Now you can face them without me, even if it would be easier if I gave you a lift. Now as I fall apart in every way, you can’t do the same as I did for you. Because you have your own battles to face too.

I’m here to leave my heart at your door. Finally having the strength to say good-bye. Not because I don’t love you, I really do, but because you don’t need my love anymore.

I don't know which is worse,
Feeling okay despite of the devastating events happening
or do nothing because you can't change anything.

Maybe all she need was your attention
to look at her in every direction
so that she will feel your appreciation.

Maybe she loved you
with all your flaws
but you were too distracted
and weren't thorough.

So when her feelings got beaten
with all the wasted time and effort.
She fell out of love
and decided to go on.
Without you.

Then she found someone who
makes her feel confident and assured.

You saw the same smile when you first
laid your eyes on her.
You get the cravings of wanting to
kiss and hug her.
You want to tell her, you love her.
That's when you know you still want her.

He told me straight to my face, " You don't have to get hurt, this is how really it works."

I paused and said, " Don't be a fool, with what we have now, both of us are bound to get hurt. Also, in making relationship, somehow someone gets hurt at the end. No matter how we don't want that to happen."

He replied, " It does hurt, but I've been exposed to pain for too long. Guess, I've learned to love it."

I whispered, "Maybe it's time for you to stop feeling that way. Let me  take that numbness off and give you a new perspective."

He stared at me, "We cannot change reality. When we love, we'll surely get hurt. And the only thing not to get hurt is not to feel the pain."

I smiled, "It is through experiencing pain that we learn. Surely it is inevitable but that's what you are made of and that's when you know you are in love, again."

Dear,    

If you love a writer, I promise every post will be about you.
I promise a shower of poetry.
I promise different colors and different shades.
I promise the depths of the sea, the vastness of the sky.      
I promise nights of endless talking and days of cuddling and staying in bed.
I promise you complexity of everything else.
I promise view from all windows.
I promise a new world.

–  A writer

But, the unhappiness I’m talking about here, is experiencing months and months of pain, of pushing and pulling, of nonstop crying, and of love that has evolved into resentment.

Don’t leave just because of an argument. Don’t leave because you are struggling with a few things in your relationship. You’ve got to try. You’ve got to give it your all. You’ve got to fight. Hard. You’ve got to give them all of you.

And if that’s not enough? You have to leave.

Leave if you are truly, truly unhappy. Leave when you find yourself looking at them, still so in love, but you know that your time has to come to an end. Leave if you feel like you have lost yourself in this relationship.

Leave when you have that gut feeling in your stomach, that you don’t see forever with them. Leave if the distance has become too much, and you experience more hurt than joy. Leave if he has stopped looking at you during conversations and has stopped listening to you telling him about your day.

It isn’t your fault, or his. It isn’t a timing thing, either. This isn’t giving up. This is working so hard to fight for something that is not there anymore. This is not throwing in the towel. This is having the strength to do what is best for you, even though you are still madly in love. This is not being selfish.

This is loving yourself enough, to do this. Even if it breaks your heart too. Leave if you have tried everything in your power to make it work, and nothing has changed. Leave when you want it more than he does. Leave because you care more, and he knows it.
You’ve got to do what is best for you. Even though it makes you ache, and shake with pain. I know you have tried. I know you have fought like hell. But, it comes to a certain point where you are too exhausted to try anymore. You are too tired, to fight another day.

You’ve got to leave when you are doing your best, but your best still isn’t good enough. You can’t stay to please them. You can’t stay because of the love. You will find greater love elsewhere. You will find love that is meant to be. And that is mean to stay.

So, do what you have to.

What is the use of dining in restaurants
when you do not have someone to enjoy it with.
All of these fancy clothes you bought when no one
will appreciate it.
Saving a lot of money when you do not have
someone to spend it with.

It does not make sense. You will end up listening
to sad songs. Watching movies about love.
Waiting for that someone you wish who would
dine with you, shop with you and appreciate you
for who you are.

Break free, it has been so long. Unlock your caged heart.
It does not need to be guarded, not anymore.
You cannot just sit and watch your opportunities pass by.
Do something when you can, stop doubting yourself.
Love it more. Remember, love is worth the sacrifice.

Courage, dear one.