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Jul 2017 · 232
What's hurting me?
Inkveined Jul 2017
I want to be good enough for you

But I never am

I try to be good enough for you

But I never am

I longed to be good enough for you

But I never was

I'll never be good enough for you

Nobody ever was
Tears can't speak but if they could you would have gone deaf a long time ago
Jul 2017 · 241
Untitled
Inkveined Jul 2017
Reinvent myself

I want to be someone else

Reinvent myself

I want to have a full shelf

Of stories to tell

No more throwing pennies

Down a wishing well
Sometimes I need to write more than I need my next meal
Jul 2017 · 388
Bad Idea
Inkveined Jul 2017
It was a bad idea
Saying hi to you
It was a bad idea
Not walking right away
The very minute you said
I had a lot of baggage
So very offhandedly
It was a bad idea
Sticking around when
You told me things that
Would make me feel worthless
It was a bad idea
Forgiving you
Because maybe I deserved it anyway
It was a bad idea
When I put some distance between us
Only to close it once again
It was a bad idea
When I let you
Apologize to me
For hurting me so many times
When I let you
Try to make amends
It was a bad idea
When I began let my heart soften
Just enough to
Be able to feel once again
My face brighten
At the mere mention of your name
It was a bad idea
Laughing and smiling
At the things you said
It was a bad idea
Looking past all your flaws
And wanting to be there for you
It was a bad idea
Letting you be there for me
It was a bad idea
Doing the practical thing
It was a bad idea
Trying to prove myself
That I really wasn't special at all
It was a bad idea
Finding out that I wasn't after all
And not confronting you about it
It was a bad idea
Pretending like I didn't know
About all those other girls
It was a bad idea
Letting
Confusion
Insecurity
Sadness
Doubt
Grow within myself
It was a bad idea
Finally telling you how I felt
It was a bad idea
Allowing myself to think
That maybe
You were a good one.
Written back in January. I'm gonna disappear for a while again.....toodles.
Jul 2017 · 381
Dark Mood
Inkveined Jul 2017
I reached for it again earlier
Even though I told myself that I wouldn't
And I held it close to my skin
Sat there, staring down at the contrast
Before putting it away again
I always tell myself
It doesn't matter to me if I have scars
But then I think
It will matter to someone else
And I don't want to have to explain
Line after line
I'm not good at talking
Yes, this is about cutting. But it was a long time ago. And I didn't do it.
Jul 2017 · 424
Relic
Inkveined Jul 2017
I should hate you
I should want to destroy you
Like you destroyed me
I should want to **** you
One day at a time
Like you killed me
I should want to
Forget every moment
Every millisecond
Since our lives intertwined
But I don't hate you
But I don't want to destroy you
But I don't want to **** you
But I don't want to forget
I want to keep the scars
So that I can trace them
So that
Whenever it's tempting
To throw myself
At someone else's feet
Begging for affection
For love
I'll close my eyes
And quietly remember
Every time that I felt worthless
Every time that I felt ashamed
Just for being me
All because
I wasn't good enough
All because
Someone else was better
All because
You cared more about your future
Than about our present
And I will make sure
That you are the only one
Who gets to say
I slammed the door in her face
Shoved her aside
Kicked her away
And she let me.
In other words, old news-ancient. And it wasn't worth it. -from my archives-
Jul 2017 · 235
How I felt back then
Inkveined Jul 2017
I DON'T CARE IF IT BURNS
I DON'T CARE IF IT HURTS
AT LEAST I CAN FEEL
THE EDGE OF YOUR KNIFE
AS IT CARVES AWAY AT ME
Something else I wrote a long time ago. Yes, in all caps...dug up from my private/personal archives. In retrospect, I don't think those feelings were healthy at all. ((stating the obvious here))
Apr 2017 · 137
Untitled
Inkveined Apr 2017
Time
A mysterious thing
It eludes everyone
Intangible
We chase and chase time
Only to get further
And further away
Can I give you some advice? Value today.
Apr 2017 · 132
Untitled
Inkveined Apr 2017
You don't even know who I am
Or if you do, you don't want to
You don't care
Why do I care?
I don't know
I don't want to
I shouldn't care
I should toss all this care aside
In the garbage
Like I did
All those years ago
Just, one moment
Of
Feeling nothingness
I know how to do that
But I don't want to
Not this time
I wish
That you wouldn't haunt me
Or maybe I'm just haunting myself
Next time
I might just tell you
My name.
Apr 2017 · 130
Untitled
Inkveined Apr 2017
But, even if my hands bleed
Let that red be the cost of my freedom
Let it.
Apr 2017 · 232
Dear Followers
Inkveined Apr 2017
I've had a lot to deal with, but that's just life
Gotta learn to roll with the punches
I don't expect that I was very missed, as talent is overabundant here and, well, I consider my writing to still need a lot of refining. I did not expect to return so quickly (some of you might say two months is a long time but it depends who you're asking) but, well....I missed writing. I still wrote, of course, but I felt rather odd and sad at just scribbling things in notebooks only to collect dust later. If even one person finds one of my poems enjoyable, then it was worth posting. Anyway....here I am. I apologize for the sudden spam, I just...I needed to get some things out. You know how it is. You all do. I apologize for the language used in a few of my recent ones but I have always had a problem with keeping my vocab clean. HelloPoetry is a lovely website, and being able to contribute to the poems here is an honor. I did and do still feel that. It's good to be back, HP. Although, I will mostly just write and post poems and do minimal socializing, as..well, midterms are quite time consuming and finals are approaching as well.
Apr 2017 · 709
Spiderwebs
Inkveined Apr 2017
Have you ever seen
the way a spider
sits so patiently
as it waits
for its next meal?
Or the way
the unsuspecting fly
will lie helplessly
having only its own wings
to blame
as freedom turns into
*feasting
I rather like dark poems, don't you?
Feb 2017 · 312
Announcement
Inkveined Feb 2017
Hey guys I'm going to be leaving hellopoetry for a while, it's a nice website but I have a lot of stuff going on and I need a break.

Try to be understanding, and keep being amazing.
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