Words typed in a haste excitement
Ignorant to the woman on the other side
Ideas attacking her feed
Uncaring of the broken pieces of her soul

Facebook pinging like a shrill cuckoo bird
Reality crashing like fallen jenga pieces

Instagram popping with pretentious new pictures
Eyes shutting the painful past memories

Twitter tweeting like a babe  hungry for milk
Body twitching to the tune of ancient whistles

The virtual screaming all day of accomplishments, love and money
The self turning to final dust at the turn of this technological century

He picked them with care
Love not being the only reason of choice
Conditions always had to be met
In his case
But with an expectation to break them

He picked them with a collector's precision
Carefully sifting through their qualities
Ensuring only the best remained
With their own true uniqueness shinning out

He picked them to be his anchor
A new facet to add to the list of qualities
Building up his own individuality
By slowly slicing away their own

He picked them deliberately
To steal away parts of their souls
In the end leaving him fuller
While they lamented over an unknown loss

And then she closed her eyes
To have every fantastical wonderment reminded
A promise from nature's own hallowed mother
To never be forgotten
A vow to remain a flower child
Til the final existence of time

his lips met mine in a hasty inconsideration
as he moved on from me
energy coursing through his veins
a destiny long foretold
waiting for him to fulfill it

his arms sought me out
against the infinite possibilities keeping us apart
tracing to memory every insignificant curve
a final wordless farewell
as the impatient future ****** him in

his body felt so close to me
a mere inches away in my mind
as i watched from afar
the cosmic powers lending their blessings
as he walked down that lonely path
fulfilling the promises of ancient men

without a backward turn he left
leaving behind his broken human heart
a small sacrifice he believed
to save the millions
who had long since awaited his return

only one remained conscious
of the humanity that still lived within him
disregarding the divine claims of foolish wise men
she watched in a trance like horror

the humanity within expelled viciously
his energy expanded bursting into a powerful flame of terrifying beauty
and in a flash nothing remained
the destiny had been fulfilled
a prophecy finally complete

yet as the world rejoiced wildly
a new found existence to celebrate
only one remained quiet
shuddering sobs slowly giving way
to a deathly silence that lasted unendingly

she closed her eyes from the evil sights
of selfish men rejoicing
and thought of the one who had brought them salvation
whose selfless love revived them
but more so
she remembered the boy she loved
who now was forgotten by human existence
save her soul
whose vow to always remember remained true
to the last breaths of her body

and further still
as her soul left the wretched existence
with a renewed strength
to search forever the ends of the universe
for the lost beloved soul
of the chosen boy

Sitting together cross legged
Our naked bodies just inches away
Lungs breathing in the same stale air
Hearts beating at a slightly erratic pace
Mine vehemently moving forward
Determined foolishly to make the most
Of the possible slipping final days

Looking up
My eyes gaze upon his body
One I believed to be the epitome of beauty
Stopping finally at his face
I sigh with resign
A lone tear making its way down my scarred cheeks
It’s not fair I think
This possibly being our last time
For I doubt I’d let him stay once it was over

So I look back at that face
With a determined promise
Memorizing every line and curve
From the soft yet strangely spikey hair
Wild eyebrows that tell stories of his travels
Warm eyes overflowing with love
For a foolish dying girl
A nose with a shadow of a joker
Hiding in its contours
Deep dark lips that whisper my name
A prayer for him to hope for more time

This face with its sleepless dark circles
Warm browness and scraggy beard
I hold in my weak spidery fingers
I want this to be last memory
Before the darkness engulfs me
So when I open my eyes each day
You’ll be by my side no matter what
I think with a childish hope

My words become incoherent
As weakness seeps swiftly into my body
Reducing my strong resolve to dust
I fall back into an ocean of tears
On your arms cannot pull me out of
They take you away and strap me in
Only the cold pinch of a needle
Having the power to soothe my wrecked soul

With a struggle I open my eyes
Barely managing it for a few moments
Disappointed with plane whiteness
I give in to the awaiting darkness
They wheel me out to my doom
The decision had been made
The papers signed in finality
With a stroke of ink they had decided my fate

Wheeling me out to sterile cruelty
I drift away helplessly
As inhuman white beings surround me
Slicing my body open
Now finally with inked permits
To take away a part of my soul
Stealing all the colours and faces from me
And subjecting me to an infinite depth of black

My body survived
The cancer had finally died
Yet I felt no proud survivor’s strength
Only the hollow emptiness of this new dark world
I could think of
Voices called out of the dark
Warm arms reaching out to hold me
But their faces no longer could appear
They all were the same to my darkness

Until I heard him walk in again
His quiet orders for others to leave
Rang through my ever inquisitive ears
His soft rustles confused my mind
Until I felt his warm body engulf me
His lips whispering his prayer
Calling my fiery soul back from the depths

My sightless eyes felt a surprising wet
And from the dark depths a face appeared
One I feared had forever left me
With a cry my spidery fingers held on
Drinking in thirstily his warmth
My mind now singing into the darkness
He’s back
And in that terrified moment
I knew it was not the end

With a determined ****
I pushed my body off the comforts of my bed
Arm reaching out uncertainly for a support
With my weak hands engulfed in his
Legs gingerly touching the bare tiled floors
I jumped off
And took my first step
Towards a renewed life

One year later
Staring at past scribbles
I wonder
Do you remember our memories?
The old cruel words and actions thrown recklessly
A product of our youthful insecurities
That pushed us away
Almost an eternity it felt

One year later
I sit down to continue
A story I penned for us
An idea or perhaps a hope
Drawing up a new future for us both
One where we didn’t have to remain apart
One where life pushed our souls back together

One year later
I realize with a certain vague sadness
Those words penned down
In old ink pens were not for glory
Or written with an aim at success
Rather a tribute to us
An innocent girl’s wish I guess
To create a reality with you in it

One year later
Things are much more complex than they ever were
We’re back together, in a way
Not how my meticulous mind had wished it to be
Not how I had ever thought we could end up
We’re back but still apart
With a crashing sense of clear reality
I realize
What was could never be again

One year later
It is a bitter sweet remembrance
New words penned down
About the same old wild beings
Into the adult world we tumbled in
New memories and decisions undertaken
Discovering new facets to life
We grow again

One year later
I still love you
And your affections remain the same
Moving forward on uncertain paths
Still apart
But in a way,
Always together

I know right now the last thing you could ever want
Is something from me
I'm sure you're readying yourself to block me
Across every forum possible
Snipping away every cord of connection from me
Erasing our memories though how colourful they were
The deals the promises the kisses
The looks the hands the love
You wish to forget it all
Focusing only on the darkness
In a ploy to remove my existence from your life
It is your choice to do so if you wish
But rash cruel decisions we always regretted
A field I have far too much experience in
Though you do not wish to acknowledge
It to me anymore
I shall say it again
I love you

There are many kinds of loves in this world
and not every one is meant to last
But it doesn't for a second mean it isn't important
You ask what was the point of it?
Well the same can be said about life could it not?
What is the point if in the end we all have to die?
The reason the answer my sweet boy
Is that it's an experience
We need all kinds of loves in our lives
It helps us grow, lights a fire inside us
Fixes our wounds and gives us
Pages of memories crucial to our existence
When you have loved someone
No matter what happens, it never dies
Your heart just grows larger  
fills more people inside it

I promised you once
When you looked into my eyes and held my body
You asked me to never let you go
So I won't. Even if you push me away I will hold on
I'll always be there for you
Whenever you need me I'll come back
And if you wish to not have to keep in touch I won't
Though it would hurt me a great deal to do so
But il always wait this promise isn't a lie
I shall wait and welcome you
Whenever you wish to come back with open arms

We have far too little time on this earth
To spend it in hatred
I wish you wouldn't
*** I don't. Couldn't. Even if I tried.
Our end had its coming. But it isn't one
With a finality
Honestly
I'm glad we didn't walk away that day
I'm glad I held on
And I tell you this I meant every word
But I guess as humans we aren't perfect
But I'm glad I got one more week with you
To kiss you
To remind you that I loved you
To hold you in my arms
It was never about exploring or other men
It never could have been
We were I guess just too extreme for eachother
And my own fuckedupness
which you know only a shred of

All I wanted to say is
I wish you the happiest of lives
You are one of the most brilliant men I have met
I believe in you completely
No failure will ever hold you down
You are destined to be brilliant.
You just have to believe
You are whole. And beautiful and perfection.
You have no idea about the number of tears I shed
More for my loss of soul friend
Than for a loss of lover
You've made me laugh and cry and angry and smile so much
these past months
You made a dent in my soul
Helped me grow and become a better person
I will always be grateful for your strength
For your love and for your belief

You are one of the best men I know
You will remain in my heart
and I shall never erase your memories
They rest forever with me
Please try not to think too harshly of me
I wasn't enough for you and couldn't make you happy
That is why it had to end
I want to see you happy
You deserve it completely
and I won't hold you back
I give you all my love
And hope sincerely each passing day
That some day
One day
I can meet you again.