Smiles that don't reach my eyes

Blood that's not accidental

Thoughts that are taking over

Tears that could fill an ocean

Fear that's filling my heart

A heart that I cannot trust

Nights without rest

A body overcome by exhaustion

And the pain it takes to hide this

"Are you okay?"
You ask

"Well define 'okay'"
I answer

My heart is beating
Granted, too fast

My blood is flowing
I just checked

My brain is functioning
I'm thinking too much

My stomach is active
It's angry for me not eating

My lungs are moving
I'm just out of breath

Beyond physically?
No I'm definitely not okay

I have lived myself into a box
I can hear people talking and laughing on the outside
sometimes I can even see light through the cracks in the walls
but no matter how hard I try to climb
throw my self against the invisible walls
shout into the silence that surrounds my heart
I am all alone in the dark