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There's a monster in my head
And a demon in my soul
They're tearing me apart
With every second they take their toll

They tear at my skin
They send tears down my cheeks


At first we were fighting
I thought they only lied
But it is okay now
We are on the same side

The demons they want me dead
But they promised not to tell
Anyway of dying
Is better than living in this hell

I thought the demons killed me
But really I killed myself
I let the demons in
That was worse than anything else

Never let your demons in
Don't let your monsters rule your head
For if you ever do
You will surely end up dead
 Oct 2014 Neda Zeidieh
holyoak
i'm sleeping
on the left side 
of my bed
to take up the space
that you left empty 
because you left me
with no kind of backup plan
i was left to miss you
and you were left to wonder
and in the end
all that is left
is left hand turn signals
in the car i'm driving 
parking on the left side of the road
where i walked you to your door 
and left you to go inside alone
it was a fine first date 
but i remember thinking 
"i shouldn't have left her so early"
and now i hope you think the same
i got stuck in the revolving door
into your old apartment building
it reminded me of you
i used my left hand
to push it forward
and felt as though
this is where i would be
for the rest of my time without you
i left the building 
without a vocalized thought
but in the back of my mind
the only thought that was left
whispered
"why can't i be right for once?"

[holyoak]
 Oct 2014 Neda Zeidieh
WickedHope
distraction
contraptions
i don't work right
haven't enough reason to fight
please distract me
in your arms
enwrap me
when i can't sleep
i'm up thinking
and when i have you
my thoughts fade from dark
without you
i'm in my own head screaming
i wind up bleeding
and not holding you
but
distraction
contraptions
...
you are the better distraction
-me
People want what they can not have.
I am fighting the urge to need you.
Velvet soft skin
Playing fingernails
Dragging down your skin
You impeach me from my slumber
So i rise....

Steady i flow
onward to your rhythm
and we join as one

Hold me tight
Hold me please
A tear escapes its chamber
Iv longed for this
Iv begged for this
Save me from myself
Greetings from your Christmas cards
Your perfect lawn and two car garage
Aren't you all such a perfect family?
Thinking no one can see underneath

Father would you like to tell
Us all about the girl you sometimes see
Your juvenile adultery

Go look back the photo albums  
You will see happy time smiles
Of people trying to keep it together
But falling apart all the while

Now am I right or am I right?
So am I right or am I right?
About the daughter who sleeps around
And the one tracked minded boys she goes down on

Go to the house
Don't call it home, with a camera
And take snap shots of behind the scenes
And see sadden home that cannot get sadder

Lets go to the beach on a sunny day
And unwind for a bit
Forget your ***** up son
And all the drugs he's done

Lets go to the park for some fresh air
And relax for a second
Let go of the hate you have for your wife
And her matriarchal grip she has on your life

Lets go for a drive take the top down
And enjoy the moment
Continue to deny and repress
Your parent's deaths and your lack of success

Just drink your whiskey and muddle through
Pray to your God, if he's even listening to you
Broken and divided
They're a happy family

Just pour out a few more "I love you's"
And regret ever saying "I do"
Broken and divided
They're a happy family

Blood is thicker than water but you're thirsty
Blood is thicker than water but you're thirsty
Blood is thicker than water but you're thirsty
Blood is thicker than water but you're thirsty
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