Do you ever want to cry but no tears come?
Do you ever want to bleed but no blood flows?
Do you ever want to die but death won't come?
I have this all the time.
I want it all the time every day.
But I cannot cry, bleed or die.

I am so tired,
All I want is to close my eyes,
And never open them again.

When I die, will I cry?
And if I do, is it for the moments I had or for the moments I will never have?
But do I care when there are other solutions the death?

Hold me close.
I am afraid I might fall.
Hold me in your strong arms.
Fight away my fears.
Light my day.
Whisper sweet words of love in my ear.
And don't leave me.
Because I love you.
And I did be lost without you.
So hold me close.
Before I fall.
Don't let me walk alone.
I wouldn't make it far.
I need your smile to light my day.
And you arms around me to feel safe.
Cause I am so scared.
Without I would fall.
So please hold me close.
And never let me go

If I put on a smile an walk out this door,
and pretened that nothing is going on,
look again.
The scars on my thighs and wrist don't lie.
And if I smile,
I just want to cry.
But I will never show,
the pain in my heart,
I will suffer quietly,
live another lie.
But when you look closer,
you see that this is not real.
My smile is fake,
and all I want to do is cry.
Do you dare to look closer,
and see that I'm not okay.
Can you see?
Can you open your eyes for my pain?
And see trough my fake smile.
Because I am not okay.
And I want to scream.
But I don't want others to know,
because they never care.
And when you see me smile,
think again,
before you asume a thing.
Because I am not okay,
and my smile is fake.
My tears don't lie.
My scars don't lie.
They are real,
but my smile is not.
And you would see,
if you only looked a bit closer.

Alchol
To drown
Fight my thoughts
To drown the pain
Alchol

Do you like what you see?
Am I pretty yet?
Or do I need to add some more make up?
More lies?
Hide my true self?
The one that no one likes.
When will I be pretty?
Lose some more pounds?
So that you can see my weak bones?
Would you like to see that?
Or can you be content?
With the body I have?
The body that is me.
If not, how do I become pretty than?
How do I please you?
Why are you so ******* me?
Can I ever be pretty in your eyes?
Or will you just continue putting me down?
Deep down I know.
In your eyes I will never be pretty.
But I pretend that I don't know and some more make up.
Some more lies.
Till you don't see me anymore.
But just a bunch of lies.
Will I be pretty than?
Am I pretty yet?
The girl of lies.
Am I pretty yet?
What do you think?
Am I pretty yet?
Now you can't see me from under the lies.
Am I pretty yet or do you need more lies?
Another fake smile?
More make up?
Less weight?
More lies?
Tell me.
Am I pretty yet?
Or do you need more lies?