I'm not saying there isn't hope and I'm not beating myself up, I'm just admitting to my mistakes and apologizing for my foolish behaviour. That's why I write sad songs because it's too ltitle too late to apologize now.

I feel defeated,
face to the floor
I lay in dirt,
here I am, mother earth
Embrace me, nurturer
I've been hurt
My heart is heavy
My stomach is empty
My soul is starved and cursed
Toyed with my feelings
And carved out my eyes
I never saw this coming
Left here to die
And I wonder why
I wonder why
Could I have seen this coming,
Had I known you never loved me,
Would I have changed everything?
Probably not in the end.
If I could go back,
I would choose you,
Time and again.

Let me dissipate
if I can't have you
If i can't hold you
When my world crumbles
Just watch me disintegrate
Just let me go
Watch me disappear
To knew, from know

I'm fine in the fire
The flames burn slow
Spread my ashes
Watch me go

My dissipation
An act of exasperation
Tugging on my heart strings
You meant everything

But I'm fine in the fire
the flames burn slow
spread my ashes
And watch me go

Some things better left unsaid
Softly spoken only by the dead
I'll take these words to my grave
You never cared anyway

I'm fine in the fire
The flames burn slow
So spread my ashes
Let me go

To be special,
I may never know
I want to feel but,
I've lost my glow
Dim and dull
I feel lackluster.
No shine, or gleam,
I am faded.
You had me, held me,
left me jaded.

I don't understand

I'm just a boy

I feel like everyone's out to get me

I'm so paranoid

I don't think I can ever be happy

I'm so paranoid

I just want you to be happy

When everyone's out to get me

I can't ever be happy

I want you to understand

I want you to be happy

But, I'm just a boy

And I'll never understand

I'm so paranoid

It was never me anyway
Just let me go
As my consciousness fades away
And my eyes lose their glow
The bleak outline turns black
I close my eyes and think back
I knew before the game started
how it would end,
destined, we parted.

Mortal coil, tinfoil hat
Crack open my skull
with a baseball bat
See into my mind
Cross the line-
The boundary of no return
If this disturbs you
then walk away
Ignorance is bliss
behind your rose colored shades
So rise up, join your fellow man,
one by one, hand in hand,
You too can drown
in a pool of blood,
for the price of dying
to protect the ones you love.

You live your life
I live mine
I didn't ask for this
I'll be fine
Not a day goes by
that I don't think of you
In the sweetest way
I wish I could ask you to stay
You plague my mind
You shake me to the core
You weigh down my heart
like an anchor at shore
I long to be free
to live without restraints
But, without you
It would mean nothing
No one could ever take your place
You can leave if you want to
I won't beg you to stay
I promise I'll see you again
Someday- maybe a little after life.

I just wanted to say..
That which I cannot convey..
Three little words..
Often spoken but, unheard..
Bittersweet symphony,
Is the sound of my heartbeat..
Time and space, inconsequential..
Every moment with you,
Is treasured and special..
Life- meaningless, dull and void
when you are not around..
Fear of death, non existent
When love in my heart is abound..
So many words..
So many little words..
To entice you, romance you,
Beseech you..
All the phrases I wrote upon
the memories I hold- of you..
All the notes I took of all the
Moments I loved- were true..
Every line in every book,
Every word of every hook..
Were of you~