Broken conversations,
empty lungs,
doors half open,
hearts almost out of love.

We used to talk of how
we used to be infinite.
But now every second now feels
like a stroke against an unforgiving current.

Our conversations broke
as the flaws of our souls
fell through the cracks of this glass foundation.

These upset words that escaped you
left the air around me a little sad,
a little awake,
and with a lot of echoes.

My lungs went empty
talking you down.

I left the door open for you.
So you can walk in
and slip in quietly-
I won't say a word.

And this heart could never go empty,
not mine.
Yours,
at this point,
I know not.

Flowers never lost their color
as long as you walked this earth.

I'm better off alone
I'm better off cold

im pretty sure i
eat less than
i should.

i dont have time for
breakfast and
the lunch at school is usually
gross.
i eat a lot at dinner but
thats all.
i dont get hungry but
im not trying to get
skinny either.

thats the thing:
im not trying and
yet im achieving

also, i just
dont have the
time.

i doubt i even eat
over 1000 calories anymore.
and considering we do
******* workouts at
school every other day;
im losing weight.

it feels nice to
fit in my
homecoming
dress.

She likes you too
So?
I see her (sometimes) as a threat
Rach, you're mine. Only mine
She is great, but what if I lost?
Shes not you
I always lose
Im yours, you won
The war is already done
What war, There is no competition, Rach
I can't lose, please don't leave me
I won't
I've already lost
*Rach...

i want to disappear
from this world,
this planet because
i can not be reminded
of you, anymore.
all this reminiscing and
memories are just too much
for my empty soul.
i ignore you and try
to forget you,
but it's impossible.
i want to avoid you,
and maybe i am succeeding
at it,
but i also want to find you
because you seem to
disappear lately, too.
all i need is closure,
because without it
i cannot move on,
and maybe,
i do not want to,
maybe i want to
love you until
the end of time,
but i also want to
forget you and
escape the spell you
had cast on me.
i don't want you
to invade my thoughts,
anymore.

I used to be happy,
Thats all i felt, happiness.
But then for a long time,
I felt nothing.
But then, i met you.
You made me feel happiness again,
but more importantly,
you made me feel again.

You told me to **** myself,
You dont know im already dead.
You called me names,
You brought me to Life or Death.
You made me use the blades,
You gave me scars,
Physical and Mental.
But i still survived,
Physical and Mental.
                j.b

Im tired of suffering this pain,
Counting down the days,
Until i die.
174, yeah. thats it.
Waiting to die,
To end my suffering.
      j.b

This pain in my chest,
The feeling of disgust,
I have it all the time.
I cant sleep,
Paranoia the whole night,
I cant have friends,
Or a life.
Im too insane,
and too unworthy.
        j.b