wander while I ponder
wonder when I'm farther
out sea, just me, pisces
underwater, wonder if I can feel thunder
running from each other
wonder who can go farther
light green, I am a rusty lover
underneath, wonder if I can get better

3 years deep at least
hiding from yourself more than me
honesty is healing, your honestly killing me
why would you
say that, i need payback
say that, when you knew that
it was lies, projecting all the time
i let your into my house, into my life

blindsighted
i've stopped trying
this whole time, you were a fraud lying
blindsighted
i'm done crying
these bold lies, you were a fraud hiding
snake eyes, snake lips
jealous, bitter, narcissistic scripts
sweet nothings, fake adoration
this i could never predict

happy holidays, fresh white snow
eggnog ***** and fuzzy robes
red nose reindeer and frost-bitten toes
jingle bells and warm throws
happy holidays, hot black coal
SZA's SOS album and ctrl
apple pies and chip-filled bowls
cinnamon candles and a hearty soul

releasing this album has to be the hardest thing I have ever done
always wanted to but shame suppressed
hundreds of files, hundreds of tears wept
my heart painted across instrumentals and melodies
nervous, will people get me?
get the metaphors, get the meaning
purpose, will I let me?
embark on a journey toward the sun
leave everything I hated having to become
shed a few layers, re-introduce me
climbing to the top, sorry excuse me

gave you a mile
but you wouldn’t even take an inch
tried to be sweeter
just a pinch
tried to be a holiday
to the grinch
i tried to love someone tactless
i cried too much for a fake prince