Set the alarm
Lock the doors
Lock the windows
Lock the shutters
Find the cricket bat – “put it by your bed”
Say goodnight to mom and dad

Although young, not naïve
I knew every night had the possibility of being my last

A routine that is now muscle memory.

Fear –
You may think
But life –
Normal for me.

Wake up
Turn off the alarm
Unlock the doors
Open the windows
Open the shutters
Put the cricket bat in the cupboard

Never being able to be left alone at home. Unwillingly dragged from store to store.

But – that’s the thing –
People don’t know the real Her,
They know the exquisite scenery, the unforgettable wildlife
They don’t know… But I do.
Because She is my home
Because being in constant fear for my life –
is normal.

Confused –
What do I tell people about Mother when they ask?
The person who raised me, taught me how to be grateful, how to ride a bike,         how to love.
Do I tell them? Will I scare them?

Although hidden beneath the tyranny – I would say –
the bloodshed
the faces of malnourished children left for dead on the side of the road the poverty struck soil the corruption      the greed the hunger the death the separation of class and race

Although a place feared –
Africa.

My Africa –
Whose sunshine you feel ignited in your soul
My Africa –
Whose smile is irresistibly contagious
My Africa –
Whose heart lies in the grassy terrain
The golden dunes of sand
The never-ending mountain tops
My Africa –
Who is the heart of various people
           cultures
   languages
          All who call Her home.
She is –
Where my heart lies even if I am thousands of miles away
Where my mind wanders from day to day.

Her air, instantly calls you
Her smell, instantly smelt
Welcoming you ever so dearly –
      Home.

Like all good mothers,
She is the one who can handle both the tranquil and turmoil,
the love and war.

She is my home. She is who I fear of disappointing.

My Africa –
is beautiful.

i trust you,
i really do.
and i know you have been hurt before, i might not have a clue on what they did
but please.
would you take this chance?
i know everyone is untrustworthy, untrustable,
they can be, and that they can throw you away in the dump, and just glance at you before they leave you.
to only come back again, different.
and i know that you might not trust me back.
but, would you trust someone who wants you to trust him so badly,
that he just doesn't understand why you won't trust him.
i know that isn't me.
but would you, just this time,
to trust in God, after all this time?

Maybe I should just let go and let love show me the way.
Maybe I should start a conversation a friendship that would last throughout the ages.
Maybe I should do everything in love for the other. For the Love of God.
Maybe, I have been doing it all wrong.
That I haven't been loving.
That I haven't been kind.
That I haven't been compassionate.
That I haven't been there for them
That I haven't been caring.
That I haven't been speaking for those who have no voice.
That I have been too silent.
That I haven't been beside those who are sick.
That I haven't been the one to place my hand on another shoulder .
That I haven't been the one to comfort.
That I haven't been the one to sit with a lonely other.
That I haven't been the one to love.
To love another. No matter what.
To love the right places.
To love.
That I haven't been the one to love...
to love...
to love...
love...

I know you have questions.
I know you have wounds and scars.
I know you were hurt before, who wasn't?
I know you think you can do everything now.
I know you think time is in your hands.
I know you think life is longlasting, a slow ticking bomb.
Think. I said think. Thats what you think. That's what I thought.
Now I know that questions would have answers, and some, were just meant to be unanswered.
Now I know the pain I felt, is nothing but a blessing.
Now I know time is fleeting, that life is so short.
Now I know, now I realise that there is a time. For everything. In due season.
Everything that happens, happens for a reason.

My love go to your nearest sea,
Once there close your sweet eyes my love.

Then leave your porcelain bones and skin,
Let your elegant precious soul drift over the deep blue sea.

I’ll leave shore too my love,
And my lonely soul will float towards you.

We will meet in the great clouds of blue,
You will have one forbidden touch and I’ll have two sips of your gold.

We just can’t mix my love,
They will know when we get back home.

Just embrace me until the tides pull us away,
I promise we will meet on ground one day.
My Love x