i held his hand as we sank into the shore.
glass shards, ripping
& stinging our feet. but
i could not ask for more.
i could not ask at all.

the ocean loomed - a heavy shadow,
too dark to be blue. it lapped at our
wounds, like a hungry tomb and
the wind was begging
for me to fall.

quicksand, almost. we were knee deep
into the wrecked atlantis of the creatures
who used to live on the beach.
they once held hands too.
they once had someone to call.

the biggest of waves it was his home it was his place i could not save him from grace it
swallowed him whole.

and i, a carcass along the shore.
i began to understand why hermit *****
said goodbye to their shells with a drawl.

when you touch her do you think of me? because every silent night I think of you honey.

i need someone who will love me all the time.
not just when they're lonely & bored,
& running out of things fragile enough for them to
take over & call 'mine'.

i need someone who will love me when i'm
sickly sweet cherry cordial, and not just when i'm
drowsy red wine.
not just when i'm their cup of tea that they leave unfinished in the sink because they've stopped to cry.

i need someone who'll love me even when i am a ****,
when i am a wildflower.
not just when i'm the blooming roses, wilting from the time they accidentally knocked the watering can over.

I could have been floating on rainbow river,
but the fool I am - I stayed in
thinking we could make up for lost time.

But I should have seen this coming.
Because I did it too.
Kept making the choice that I knew hurt you.
prodding a wound with ***** fingers.

visions of my own death play in my head,
a silent movie that speaks volumes.
Oh, karma - how could I have forgotten you would return for me?
Taking the things I cherish,
sweeping away every good thing in your wake.

how can I fault him for my mistake,
look how long it took me.
but what good has it done me to do good,
when it's brought him no closer to me.

he's on the other side of a massive rift that grows deeper with every word he speaks.
I love you - a shovel in the dirt.
you're out with friends, and I'm lying in the sodden earth.

Our darkest nightmares
no longer held closely
but called simply childish
things that were once
so cherished in our eyes
no longer have their meaning
but all the lies we believed
can never be replaced
not simply
nor through time
this is what happens
to your dreams
as you grow out of them.
They become closer to
reality, your reality.
a ****** up, terrifying,
disturbed reality,
full of dissociation and lies.
But maybe your reality
is better than mine.
Still, it’s not perfect
nothing is perfect, not really.

Love is simple.
          Either it is true. Or not.
Love is simple.
         Either you love somebody. Or not.
Love is simple.
         Either somebody loves you. Or not.
Love is simple.
         Either you feel it. Or not.
Love is simple.
          People not.