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Violent ends to violent means. All turn into violent dreams.
enclose the walls, lock away, walk away, stay away all.
Leaves me alone. Piles of bones, past regrets. Ambulance dance to your romance.
no love is worth this trouble. Touch her again and ill burst your bubble. Cowards crawl here bullies too.
They will quake when they see what I do.
All the rage inside me warring consistently, eternally, externally, internally. Like a fraternity of sin. A battle that no one wins.
still I'm compelled to play. Keeps me alive for the coming day.
See how it is when you can't have your way. Someone's gonna make you pay. Maybe not me, but maybe someday.
Your head will hit the floor, have fun knocking on deaths door.
This poem is more or less a experience my sister had with her ex. Let it be a warning against anyone instigating abuse in a relationship. What goes around comes around.
Crucifix is my name. Sounds odd even in my brain.
see when I was a boy, my dad was a fed every night I was scared he'd come home dead.
I spent my days creating heroic plays. Bat man and robin. Daredevil too. They were the playmates, I wanted to be. That is the real tragedy you see.
Born in this world away from the rest, my true character is beneath my chest. I named him crucifix you see. A dark crusader, and the Christian in me.
He's what I still wish I could be. If I could publish a book one day.
It should be his. And in some way star me.
I could be the hero I wish I could be.
yes I know that's not very humble of me. But there seams to be a human urge, to stand away from the rest. To be the star of the show.
Makes me wonder why we shun thoughts with celebrity glow.
Crucifix is me. He will always be.
This is just a little you need to know. Because that's where my name comes from on this page.
Someone asked me why my username was crucifix...so here is why.
I speak of legends almost a century old still today new myths must be told.
a man from the shadows who dressed in all black he springs from the shadows to start his attack.
a hero who flew as high as the sun as is the wish of the last of krypton.
A princess and warrior as fierce as her name a wondrous woman, equal in fame.
A benevolent king under the seas, he does what he likes, and does not look to please.
A frequent flyer who has reached the stars by his lanterns light fear flees the night.
A crimson hero who speeds bad guys away, he continues to move faster each day.
A robotic man with a heart and a brain, cybernetic only by name.
A sheep in wolf's clothing more human then all he manhunts monsters his home will not fall.
A small child who thunders his name all Olympus roars the same.
A archer of the brave and the bold, a bow and a hood, a story long told.
These our the myths of 2000 A.D. real or not they empower the free.
I just love comics thought I should do this. Enjoy!
Look at me. What do you see? A boy crying out for sanctuary? I morn only myself for the life I lead.
see I ware a mask to shelter the past. To keep thoughts away who do not plan to stay. It might be lonely it might be sad, but when I meet my reflection I know ill be glad. Where ever she is, where ever she may be, I know she wares a mask just like me. Together we will chase the bad guys away. Ill see her scars and she will see mine. Below our skin our hearts will align. I can't see her face yet but I know she's out there. The girl who carried my heart all my life. Through heartache and hatred and anger and strife.
And I will thank her for saving much more than my life.
The journey to love is often unkind to who follow. But every now and again you find someone worth the hardships along the road.
Dear Everyone,
       One day, you're going to find me lying there, not breathing. Or you will receive a phone call, or you're gonna hear it on the morning announcements. Maybe the principal will arrange an assembly. You're going to look up the signs, and think "all the signs were there. I should have known." You'll talk to someone about it. They'll tell you it wasn't your fault. That you couldn't have done anything to help me or stop me. And that's true. But what you could have done was just listen to me. That's all I needed. Now, it's too late. I can't say that I'm not happy that I'm about to remove myself from this earth, because I am more than happy. I never meant to hurt any of you. But y'all have to understand that when I needed you, you were not there.

Dad. The last thing that I want is for you to think that I left this world hating you, because I didn't. Yes, I resented you for many reasons, because at first you refused to believe me about what Tyler did to me. He hurt me. You refused to give me the protection a father is supposed to give. I'm not saying that you were a terrible father, because everyone makes mistakes. I also resented you for cheating on Janie-- and I'm not saying that it was all your fault, because I know that she did the same thing, but you still had your part in it. Our family wasn't perfect, but it was good enough, and that's all that mattered. But your careless decisions ruined everything. For all of us.

Mom. As much as I want to hate you for leaving us, I can't. Because whether you want to accept it or not- you are my mother. I didn't think that's much to ask for. I just wanted you there. And you weren't. And you can't possibly know how hard that is for me. I'm 18 years old; you have missed my entire life, and now all the sudden you need more chances. One chance is enough. Maybe two. But now it's too late because after this letter, I won't be here. I could go on and on about how I feel, but the letter would never have an ending.

Chase, (biological brother) you abuse me in every way possible. You treated me like an animal. Ripped off my wings, and still expected me to fly. I want you to know, with all my heart, that no matter what you did to me, there is still a place in my broken heart for you to fill. You are my brother. And I'm not sure that what I'm about to do will hurt you, but if it does, I'm sorry, but I can't keep living like this. You are my everything, Chase. And I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to hurt me anymore either.

Amanda, (dad's girlfriend) You cheated on my dad back in 2014, after all my family has done for you. We provided a home for you and your three kids, a car, everything. I wouldn't say that we regret any of it, but we didn't deserve what you did. But I want you to know that I forgive you. As for dad and Chase-- I can't speak for them. I love you and your children with my whole heart, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I know that this is the most selfish think anyone can do, but if that's what it takes to end my pain, then that's how it has to be.

Tyler, I want to thank you for putting me through what you did, because it made me who I am-- well, who I was. It hurt, yes. You holding me down, ****** me. The pressure you held me down with was unbelievable. You burning me with a hot curling iron in places you'd never imagine. Introducing me to drugs, and shooting me up with them. April 17, 2011 was a day of nothing but torture. You are legally psychotic for what you did to me.  No one in their right mind would do something so drastic, so painful, so real. Especially to someone you're supposed to care about. There's only one explanation for why you did what you did. You don't know how to love. You try but you show it in the wrong ways. For years, I've put the blame on myself. You know why? Because you just don't do that to people you love. Yes. I said it: I loved you. Sometimes I think I still do.

Corey. (step brother) I tried not to hate you for making me play those games with you when I was 7. Doctor. I hated that game.. yet you still forced me to play. Now, I always think "why would you do that to a child. Much less your sister. Just think about that when you're visiting my grave. If you choose to spit on it, then do it. I can't stop you, I'm six feet into the ground.

Kaylin, you were my best friend and I told you everything, from my abuse as a child to now. I chose drugs and Tyler over you. And you turned your back on me, leaving me without a best friend. But you don't deserve what I did. You've been there since day one, and I'm sorry it has come to this and I'm sure it won't be easy for you-- or any of you at that. I'm really sorry to say this, but killing myself will be easy for me, because it's all I've ever wanted to do, all I ever hoped for.
"Goodnight" you said.
"Goodbye" I said.
And you never thought twice about it.
 Mar 2015 Modern Serenity
Chris
Put your trust in me?
I don't think so.
I'll leave you and you'll die alone.

Let's put this to bed
And put me to sleep
Before I get out of hand.
Let's put this to bed
Before you start to believe in
My fabricated sincerity.
I'll kick myself all the way home.

Please let me run away
Before I have to wipe the blood
From that exit wound.
Let me run far away
From the thud of your heart
Echoing through my chest.

This wasn't always me
It's not the way I was supposed to be.
I should have been more scared of the cold.
 Mar 2015 Modern Serenity
Chris
What's it feel like to be a monster?
How hard is it,
Trying to apologize when your own twisted teeth
choke you?
I wonder what you think about when you look
in the mirror.
I wonder.
How you even live in that skin,
it's a mystery.
You spend nights self-medicating
to deal with the fact,

But isn't that where it all started?
 Mar 2015 Modern Serenity
Chris
There's something so empty in your voice.
Not a sadness, or a longing.
But rather your "something human"
Long since gone.

Something is missing,
Something is not quite right.
Is it a draft slipping in through your ribcage, whistling out through your teeth?
I can hear it snake by so easily, with all the hollow underneath.

You sit on long metal tables,
Each one colder than the last.
Doctors always asking where it hurts.
Do you ever feel tired of not having an answer?
Have you ever lifted up your shirt
And showed them what you can't say?
Or are you afraid they'd step back and gasp?
Because there's a disgusting gaping hole in you,
That no decent person could fill.
This isn't about you.
I wear silver charms,
And carry locks of heather,
In the hope
All will fall together.

I cross my fingers,
Beg and plead
Hoping my angel
Will pay heed.

Avoid pavement cracks,
Opening parasols inside,
But with all these cautions,
The devil on my back still does deride.

My fingers have been broken,
sterling charms lost,
But still in time I beg,
All this shall be forgot.
I serenade with lit wicks,
Pave your way to me
With quick wit.

Smudged full lips,
On your skin,
Little crescents on your hips,
Where my nails dug in.

A baggy sweater,
Pushing against my shape,
Soft skin dragging
To my vacant gape.

Entice you with
what is mine,
To my body
Your love shall bind.
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