The moment I turned
and walked away
I felt my heart break a little
He didn't chase

Slowly taking steps
Without looking back
I couldn't hear his footsteps
But I couldn't backtrack

I felt my feet getting heavy
dragging them along
Desperately wanting to run
Back to where I belong

Within his arms safely
Standing side by side
Contently drifting along
As gentle waves by the seaside

The happiest they've ever seen me
Most carefree I've ever been
I was completely in love
A world consisting of just me and him

Though a raging river stood
Between our hearts
And in the end I was
The one left behind in the dark

As I raised my head high
Marching along to a beat
I've learnt to smile yet again
At last I can feel complete

Time has passed over
And not once did he chase
But the moment he did
It was already to late

I grew tired of running
Trailing after him
Was it really to much effort
To try and run after me too?

When I got up
Letting go of his hand
he didn't try to stop me
I guess this was where he stands

I knew then
He doesn't love me
And he never will

We have reached our limits
He no longer needs me
I've given all that I can give
So no matter what happens now

I'm not turning back


~

You told me, "It's over..." again. I know that, Jorge... It's been over.
You know that and I know that.. And of course...
You know I know that.. So who was the validation for?
Let me ask and pretend I don't already know who..
Let me ask and pretend like you'll tell me the truth...
The truth that I already know with every fiber of my being..
The truth you know is the truth, but will NEVER have the guts to tell me...
Let me ask who has been taking your time..
& doing such a GREAT job keeping ME off your mind...
& let me go ahead and pretend
To believe all the lies
that escape your lips then,
like rain from clouds, so effortlessly... so naturally...
Jorge, it's true.. ignorance IS BLISS..
So I beg you, for my own sake, let your lies fall all around me,
All the while,
I'll dance in them proudly
and FOOLISHLY..
Because I HONESTLY believed
You. Were. Mine.
& please love, don't stop.. Until I'm drowing in THIS...
In my last Moments -
leave me.. Like you've done every time...
To sink.. Like an anchor carrying the weight of the world, deeper..
and deeper.. and farther away from the surface..
Still too blind in love to even notice...
That I'm the only one WHO
is wasting away... all the days in my own life...
But I'm still seeing visions of YOU...
So I believe that I'm fine...
Even though you've proven you will never BE..
here - to stay - by my side..
The ludicrous hopes in my simple mind...
Absurd, are so pathetically con-vinced;
It. Will. Be. Different.
... this time.
It never has been. It never is.
I know, I know, I know this...
& yet... Despite...
I still think you'll come back & save me..
Cause you wouldn't just let me die,
right?
Although my love - you did.. Let me die like this..
Time and time and time again...
I'll gladly die this way - it's my life to spend -
drowning, figuratively, a hundred, a thousand, a million more times...
Until then,
The beat of your heart is ENOUGH,
to keep my feet above your falling words, but they rise...
Dancing in my own death, So in LOVE...
Ignorantly.. pretending
I believe all your lies.