We've been down this road before.
Each time it hurts a little more.
I really don't know what you want from me.
When we are doing good, WHY won't you let it be?
I know that you love me, don't say that you don't.
We say we can find better, but we both know that we won't.
Cause the connection we've shared.. and you know we still do...
We were a match made in Heaven, Hell, and Earth, too..
What we have in common outweighs our differences by a ton...
There's examples I can say, but showing you'd be more fun..
Like our saying, "If you know what I mean..."
Face-down, biting pillows, so I wouldn't scream.
You can not say I never tried to surprise you...
With outfits, gifts, whatever you wanted - I'd buy you...
Who's out there putting in more effort to be with you than me?
If someone else is - fine, as long as you're happy....
But just let me know, though, tell me the truth.
Don't drag me along. Don't leave me waiting for you...
Come out and say it, if you know you're not coming back.
After all we've been through, you should at least give me that...
Cause just as ready as I am to keep up the fight..
I'm just as ready for the final good bye...
So think about it long, and think about it hard...
Next time we talk - tell me.. if we're the "has been" or "are..."

There's nothing more I'd like to do,
Then snuggle in close and fall asleep with you..
& right now I'm a lot closer to you than I've been since the last time...
The last time you were here.. I know it's been on your mind..
It's on mine...
& the last time we spoke - you asked to see me..
I said, "No," but it felt like I denied my lungs the air needed for breathing...

....Changed thoughts....

Man, I really hate crying.
I can't stop, but I'm trying.
There's no point in fighting..
Both actions waste time.
If you asked & I told you, "I'm doing fine,"
You can rest assure that THEN I'd be lying...
But I know eventually.. I'll be alright....
I can't change those who I feel crossed the line...
But I can change the thoughts I repeat in my mind.

I really want to call you
& tell you I still care...
But I know you won't say it back &.. I don't think it's fair..

Yesterday could've been our anniversary...
But you were not around..
All you ever do is let me down.. I should be used to this by now...

I still hope that you'll show up and sweep me off my feet...
I'm visualizing you here with me....
Cause without you- I'm complete.

Idk.. I miss you Jorge G....

If I could build the truth for you, it'd be made of titanium steel..
I'd weld it together with all of the reasons WHY- I STILL feel the way that I feel...

All of the mistakes we've made in our relationship - would be used to make up the plumbing pipes..
I would glue them together with all of the excuses - for why we just could not get it right...

Cause those types of things just can't be left out, the things we did that caused each other pain..
They'll always be there "underground," forgive won't forget, but don't focus on the past- we can't change..
The best part of plumbing system is that-  we can wash off our future mistakes, or flush them right down the drain...

Each tile used would be made out of one good memory, we made together when we got along....
The foundation you build on is often over-looked, but equally as important as the frame, just as strong...

And the whole thing would be covered in beautiful tiles, from the roof right down to the floor..
Except of course the windows, and you know there'd be no doors..

The reflecting glass windows would be made of ALL the things that I LOVE and HAVE ALWAYS LOVED about YOU, JORGE..
So anytime you look through them you'd see yourself; ALL the reasons I STILL want to be YOURS...

I love you so much so much, (I always tell you this), just as much TODAY as I EVER HAVE before,
So explain to me again, cause I don't understand, WHY you say you just CAN'T LOVE ME anymore??

Oh that's right.. because I am a liar, you say..
Which is why I was wishing I could build the truth for you in the first place...

And why I took the time out to write you this poem for over three days..
Cause I can't stop thinking about you, even though I know none of this matters to you anyways...

Writing it out just helps me get through all these long lonely days
                                              without you.