Then my mom will no longer have to tell me to shut up every time I sing.
Then I will no longer love my best friend when she doesn't love me the same.
Then I won't constantly have to go back to my mental place of 3 years old.
Then I won't have to feel annoying to everyone.
Then I won't bother my sister anymore.
Then I won't feel like I don't have to depend on anyone to help me out of this place.
Then my biological father wouldn't have to feel forced to talk to me.
Then I wouldn't make my mother angry.
Then I wouldn't feel the pain in my chest every time I get anxious.
Then I wouldn't feel like I need to keep pushing further to find a relief.

Love didn't end wars
It started them

can i miss you?
can i kiss you?
                                                             strike a match.
i cant miss you
i cant kiss you
                                                                     let it burn.
but i do
i really want to
                                                                 throw it out.

I don’t like
that I miss you this much.
No matter how many lies
I tell myself,
I still can't shake
these lingering
feelings.