..








I’ve been distant from everyone ...
Trying to find myself ...
To only be losing myself in the mist of it all..
Pretending to be okay ..
Which I never was,
I mean wish I was..


I have good days and bad..
My mind race with thoughts uncontrollably..
Evil ones
Good ones
Bad ones
Unrealistic ones..


Sometimes my mind goes blank, sometimes I daydream and feel everything and sometimes I feel nothing at all...

Try to knock me down
I fumble a little but never fall...
I be trippin
These drugs got me lifted
This drink got me numb
I’ve been feeling nothing for to long
It’s scary ..
I can’t let the evil take control,
the devil controls the weak..
I am still head high with so much strength !
Just hurts to be strong sometimes.
I’m disconnecting from myself , trying to connect to people...
I always feel alone .. Even when I’m not.


My heart is crying out for help..
My pride won’t let me get it ...
I’m over it all...
I need to distance myself from my emotions, & my feelings..
& reconnect to my soul

when
will my heart
understand
that i am not
living in a book?

that when
i fall
for someone
in a relationship
or
for someone
i can't have

that there isn't
the slightest chance
i end up
with them


when
will my heart learn?

when ever i hear your name
my heart instantly
sinks
to the bottom of a
sea.