Akemi

Akemi May 2014

swerve

I swerve in the distance
I sink through the sky
Pink patches of dead bliss
Pass me by

Light filters my eyelids
I flutter alive
Depart through my cold skin
We drive

Don’t arrive, don’t arrive, oh, please don’t
Don’t arrive, don’t arrive, don’t arrive
Don’t arrive, don’t arrive, oh, please don’t
Don’t arrive, don’t arrive

I’m holes in your ceiling
I’m shades in your mind
Cracks, between your sleeping
Eyes

Won’t arrive, won’t arrive, no, I know
Won’t arrive, won’t arrive, won’t arrive
Won’t arrive, won’t arrive, no, I know
You’ve passed me by

2:20pm, May 20th 2014

The people that disappear from your life.
Do they reminisce?

#loss #melancholy #reminiscence

Akemi May 2014

king silence

New horns
Paper crowns
Ink kings
Flash smiles

Sever your minds
Sever your necks
We’ll speak in circles round
The fool within

A frenzy target for your
Sensational ****
Dissect this media market
Black lust and haste

Reduce
Reuse
Retie
That ******* noose

2:55am, May 18th 2014

Celebrity endorsements.

#media #consumerism #fame #advertising #idols #celebrities

Akemi May 2014

bitter blooms

Crushed pills
Bloom bitter
Over
The smoking tip
Of my tongue

8:44pm, May 3rd 2014

Will they make me disappear completely? Will they keep me alive, but reduced to nothing?

#self #depression #change #treatment #antidepressants

Akemi Apr 2014

bleak

Their ghostly limbs around me
Your voice in a hum
You linger in a grey house writing poetry
You mark my lips with self-doubt

12:52am, April 15th 2014

I can't complete this poem.

#loss #heartache #impossibility

Akemi Apr 2014

define despair

Tangled, withered limbs surround these arteries
Pulsing through the fissures left by time
A delayed strangulation over centuries
Has masked away this cancerous hive

I find my comfort in craving
The emptiness beyond tongues
The light consumed young

And I sate my lusts watching
The dust cave your eyes
Draped in your warm lies

The air too heavy to breathe
Suffocation and fever retreats
Sedation, self-destruction, blister blaze
Wasting in the dark of your soul’s gaze

We share these miserable chokes
We share these comforts alone

1:12am, April 25th 2014

An attempt to describe depressive episodes. The self-destructive urges, physical and mental alterations, the feeling of absolute isolation.

I don't think people who've never felt suicidal would ever understand, which is why I don't talk to anyone about this. When mentioning I felt like I had no purpose, one friend said if you had no purpose you might as well **** yourself, and another said I'd be fine.

F*ck them.

#depression #suicidal #unstable #self-destructive

Akemi Apr 2014

shallowness

Bile grips the gasps of every self-centered ****
They spill the tar out of their hearts onto ****** pavement
Lifeless limbs descend hollowed rooms, to linger over dust
The passing passions left to die in fake laughs

4:20am, April 24th 2014

I feel so lifeless, purposeless, passionless.
I'm disgusted at myself for seeking solace in distractions, rather than passions.
How can anyone feel good chasing such pointless things? Are people really this shallow? Avoiding work, avoiding the majority of their life to be entertained at home? Avoiding conscious thought, repeating without reflecting, lingering in selfishness, ignorance?

I've barely been able to write poetry. I don't care for university anymore. I feel like I've only been talking to friends to put on a face, because it's what they expect. I just don't see the point in anything.
If I don't get out of this space, I don't know what will happen, but I'd rather die than live a shallow, miserable life.

#depression #passion #people #purpose #shallow #pointless #lifeless #distractions

Akemi Mar 2014

(glowing)

You
are
a
bright
light
amidst
vast
emptiness

12:50am, June 13th 2013

#love #hope #despair