I have yet to know a self I can call my own,
wandering through these bodies
the way one would try on clothes
but far deeper
than this analogy could ever dig,
I live with these identities.

I fall for them
the way lovers do in autumn,
keen that the coming winter
will leave me yearning
for the comfort of another,
but no sooner do the bells of spring
begin to ring in summer air
does the necessity of this comfort fade.
The temptation of sweeter fruit
hangs above me in the orchard shade
and an affluenza of potential
almost coerces me to stay.

Though no self have ever felt my own
I know within my heart, within my blood
and in my bones, more than anything
I am compelled to grow
towards entropy and complexity,
ascending, never settling at any plateau
a silverback drumming his barrel chest
and roaring into the void of the valley below
“What is next for me!”

and the answer is silence
(I should have known)

For all the earth in the world,
For the varied chunks,
shapes and shades
of brown, keep an eye out!

There, somewhere in the dirt,
Next to the writhing worm,
Gasping at pockets of sunlight,
Green life ruminates, and
pushes, pushes up,
through the soil,
intrepid, unlikely.  
It abandons its old husk house,
what little safety it knew,
and, daring to dream,
thrusts itself into existence,
and feels the day's cooling kiss,

a multi cellular masterpiece,
when yesterday, there was only
dirt.

Her heart was full of bookmarks
From those who had once loved her pages,
But not enough to finish what they had started.

I saw a turtle
slow walking on the road
a child kept it
He  laid it in a field

I saw a fish
abandoned on the rocks by the sea
a child saved it
he left it in the waves

I saw a child
barefoot running in a field
a man  mutilated him
he hidden a mine underground

I saw a child
on the sidewalk with his bicycle
a man killed him
drunk driving

I saw a child
I saw his purity
I saw him become a man
I saw his disillusionment

is the age that changes everything ?
is the self-awareness that changes everything ?

it would be better a pure heart
compared with a mischievous mind?

maturity
is companion for strength selfishness ?
success
is it the natural evolution of opportunism ?

we grow up learning
but what is the lesson?

is it perhaps that the adults
have to learn the greatness from children ?

which  is
the true utopia ?
dreaming of becoming big
or dreaming to go small ?