She loved the rain.
She loved the way it fell with purpose,
The way it changed from sprinkle to downpour.
The way it caressed her face
When she looked to the clouds
She thought it to be gentle
Beautiful.
So maybe that's why she didn't notice,
When the flood began,
That she was drowning.

She trained for years
Mending mistakes
Accepting the mind of a fighter
Archiving past learned lessons.
Her body bearing the scars
From all the times she had fallen.
So much failure turned into strength,
So much success turned into pride.
And one final battle loomed in the distant future.
She was thoroughly prepared
Been ready for this day since she was 10
She was ready to fight.
She was ready to win.
But once the battle began,
She got hit and turned to dust.
Just like that.
Over in an instant.
Years and years of training.
Gone.

They said she needed to fall for someone.
Indeed, she did.
She fell
Into a deep dark pit
Where no one could join her.
It was lonely,
And she was sad all the time.
But she enjoyed the silence.

After all that work
After all the fight,
I find myself
Back where I started.
Do I have any fight left in me?

I'm locked in my own prison.
Stay away.
I cause myself and everyone else so much pain.
Habits need breaking,
Emotions I've been faking.
You will never really know it's me.
Because my body has me trapped.
And I will never be free.

You won't understand it
Until it happens to you.
The day when your stomach drops.
It's the day your eyes become a void.
You want to cry but you can't.
When everything becomes clear.
And it's okay
To hate the world.
To want to die.
To hate all the people you once loved.
It's okay.
You'll get through it.
I promise.
But I can also promise this.
You will never be the same again.

It comes upon you slowly at first
You believe it can be handled,
Can be controlled.
But you are so terribly wrong.
You are so weak,
You have no power of its control on you.
No power when
It quickly eats away your soul.
And changes you.