Deep deep inside
I sink deeper within myself
Like a man who's lost it all
My
withered & crumbling heart
my tired body lying exhausted

-Onus

But still
why?
does it
-keep trying to live even more
-keep trying to fight even more ?

~A man~

Invisible handshake
& a red rose
are like a white cloud
floating in ecstasy
in a wide pillowed infinite sky.

Sometimes raining
sometimes chased
by a summer sun.

~~

Some things are too pure
human to pull into
the gutter of the mind.

He’d rather put a bullet
thru his temple
than undress her
with those filthy eyes.

some women
you drink with.
&
Some
you just die for.

Peace doesn’t always mean
something good.
I’ve seen different kinda peace
some are worse than wars.

You're in the mirror of my dreams
But I'm Eyeless to every hint.
You're wise, strong & kind
I miss you
This silence pierces me.

Perishable & torn
Thy soft skin bears deep cuts.

I wipe my tears
I run to see you one final time
But how can I bear the sight:
Bleeding, exposed & lifeless
Thy powerless form.

Born bare
&
Die bare
With cuts.

Life yea
it’s beautiful
wow & I’d hate
to crack it open
just to feed
someone’s curiosity

what a beautiful
wreckage

(or)
what a beautiful
weight

~~
what a beautiful
Life.

We're blind mutts
until we're desperate.

******* in the water
until we're lost in the desert.

Me:
Doing cigarettes?

Bro:
Yeah bro, that makes you cool & drippy!
It’s like, the smoke shapes your aura.
Grey & mysterious. Girls love that.

Me:
Haha, are you serious?

Bro:
Bro wade through the river of non-smokers.
They’re dry. Dull.
Sipping smoothies in silence.
None of the women from this generation
like non-smokers, you know?
We are born to attract em !
Follow the trend !

Me:
Bro, but listen to me—
Bro but ..
I don't follow the trend
I make my own   and..

Bro:
Nah, you listen!
This is your age!
This age is never gonna return.
We're never gonna hang out like this again, dude.
Look around…
The chiya is hot, the sky is pink,
& your lungs? Empty—
what a waste.

Me:
Broooo…

Bro:
Smoking & tea is the only ecstasy!!
The puff is the prophet
the cigarette—our staff of rebellion!

Me:
Bro, but I wanna do drugs.

Bro: (pauses)
What?

Me:
Yeah, seriously. A whole lotta drugs.
Not just smoke—
I want the sun to melt.
I want me and my shadow to be 5th dimensional.
I wanna get crazy !
I want my soul to tap dance on Saturn.

Bro:
Dude… what?

Me:
I’m tired of these mild rebellions.
You’re out here glorifying smoke
like it’s a divine sacrament.
But I want the real f~ckin chaos.
Jim Morrison, Osborne Ozzy ,  
All these ****** Rock stars

I want to argue with gravity.
Argue with non-humans!
Gods

Bro: (stunned)
…You okay, bro?

Me:
I think I’m becoming art.

Quit that circus a year ago
Wrong crowd
Wrong current

You’ll share
they’ll skip

Their expression?
"Too easy."

Perception?
a whole diff multiverse.

stance?
Well subjective !!

Socialized ?
That's boring

quiet //
Sharp &
Critical.

Still
fine to play the clown for a crowd
but never for you.
~~
Just for them

I’m a crybaby
Lying on her lap—so deep.
Reading poems
I’ve written for her
She dares to believe.

She twirls~ my hair—
Twice—twice it entices —
Loving the way she ponders
Before she realizes.

I’m a crybaby
Lost in the night.

On her lap
I’ve found my lonely paradise.

Wisdom
Blooms
Wisdom
Wilts
If
Wisdom
Works
It
Moreover
Reawakens.­

~
Young clothes to age
dissolve & drift beyond the quiet grave
I may not know I may not know
The door with no unlocking key.

Yet still Reality persists
A stream that ebbs & flows
Where Time & Truth collide
& I a wisp upon its shore.

~~

A lament—
mine pleasure?
A flower—
mine happiness?
They bloomed
with quiet splendor.

Yeah I plucked mine joy
for myself—
& left the stem hurting.
Does Lament now bloom in them?

Ahhh,
my beautiful Delph.

~
Oh listen, my desperate heart
At the young night Do not watch
Do not wish & do not start.
I'm powerless, injured & crucified—
Jittered, oft died & cried in yellow light.
Let not a thing be your wish
Don't wish for a thing
Don't.

Don’t hate me.
Don’t fault me.
Don’t criticize me.
Don’t judge either!

~~

There’s more to see,
More to feel.

~~

See yourself—
See mine along!
Different people,
Different perceptions,
A different you and me.

~~

Like different flowers,
Different conceptions,
Different originality~
Different innovations!
Different.
Different!!

~Different~

Nothing is duller than the ache
For what was never Ours
A Phantom casts no Lover
Nor answers when implored

Cease the Calling Ghostly Whim!
The Wind will not return
A Flame once fed on Vacancy
Must teach itself to burn
Itself to Burn!

wanna write more 'bout you

but f~ck—

my brain already
burnt all its fireworks.

No.

This ain't fair—
this is cruelty
dress'd in a lab coat
grinning like chemistry.

Ah f~ckin dopamine —

Blind
A frustrated mind
Sees nothing.

A positive aura from your side
When the day
craves the young night.

Don’t rebuke where you are
Don’t rebuke your slight.

In the orb of Arbiters
Surrounded by.

Perhaps human life
Is a flock of birds
soaring through the sky

Perhaps the human mind
Is like an unearthed
Exciting thrilling science.

No matter
how much!
you refine or extend
perfection retreats
a mirage with no end~

~Perfection's got no end~

Fair, fair maiden ~
 apart from the herd you keep
Tho’ I’ve not heard your voice
 Still Thy love sings deep.

Fair, fair maiden ~
 apart from the herd you keep
I stand upon the edge of beauty
 But tremble on the steep.

A long long
 Cursed road winds upward
Lord forgive me!
 I dare not leap.

Fair fair maiden ~
 apart from the herd you keep
I know not
 if you know my name
But I do know yours
What a beautiful name!
Oh
Your precious
love & care are all I aim.

Fair, fair maiden ~
 apart from the herd you keep!
Tho’ I’ve not heard your voice
 Still Thy love sings deep.

for the mind's eye
the vision can be
darker & unreal

for the mind's voice
the whisper can be
provoking & manipulative

for the mind's thoughts
a great chasm, Canyon
 of ancient wisdom
achieved & level-unlocked
by inscriptions, Experience
& ages you stroll in this
peaceful & slowly rotting Earth
an ancient greybeards

for the mind’s wisdom
no thought is new.
  All things return
recycled as dust
as fire
as word
as prayer, as plastic.

Take a bite --

Take a bite of fortitude.
Everything exists to become
something else --
even her love
even your dreams
even those dandelions
whose blowballs will fly thru
that political polluted city --
slip thruu the turbulent
confusions
of mankind
& find the beautiful savanna
where they’ll laugh again
where they’ll
spread their wings again
where they’ll live thru again
to this side.

I Can
~~
I can fly like the wind
everywhere & anywhere --
higher than birds
higher than clouds
splitting the sky as I tear thru air.
But do I belong?
~~

Magic!
&
Fantastic!
&
Unreal!

Isn't it?
...
~~

I am no longer human!

—I shed the aged disguise
~~~~~~~~Gliding~~~~~~~~~~~
~into an infinite, shapeless existence—
but where am I?
The sky is infinite & flexible
I feel so small...
Is this true freedom
or am I simply lost?

~~

You become a wandering spirit
haunting thy own thoughts
a philosopher lost
in the ****** of gravity
a world you might escape.
But it is more a heaven
unknown
undrunk
by human noise.

I wished that I were He
Or
She were You  instead
But Time a fickle Artisan
Had other Hands  to Thread

I don’t know what’s going on!
& I don't know why—
I'm buzzing like a bee
wings frantic
and no one gives a f~ck.

I don’t know what’s going on!
& I don't know why—
I'm singing like a canary
caged criminally
a melodious chirp misspent on deaf ears.
Seriously,
no one gives a dammn f~ck.

I don’t know what’s really going on!
& I don't know why—
I'm writing philosophy
However unaware of my own life's philosophy.

Broken wings
no longer able to fly high.

Dazed, befuddled by the actors around me—

Sometimes
I wonder...
Am I a bee, a canary
dreaming of being human?
Or a human
dreaming of being a bee & a canary,

flapping, buzzing
singing in a language
no human will ever understand?

Her eyes & her—man
—At the same time
Squeezed lemon on mine
—bleeding sore—
Both stinging
—At the same time!

Jailbird—a prisoner—
of a done crime—

Her eyes—trap mine—
weaving mine
—every poetic line.

She looked at me
I looked at her
Obviously  true love

So we both looked away
Quick, before someone
catches us..… caring

The end. (Thank God.)

Emotions? Disgusting
We almost had a moment
Close call.

Good thing
we’re both highly trained
emotionally unavailable professionals.

Catch feelings?
Please !!!
I’d rather catch the flu.

Ohh
Mrs. Brilliant Chemist
Marry me
Don't resist!
Feed me~
With homemade psychedelics
Make my mind
Spin like a twist!

~~

D izzy

~~~

Magical smog & fumes
beckoned me inside
the boulevard of palaces
Ahh...psychedelic Organism.

Tremulously,
the chandelier falls on me.
I wake up & grab my bottle of whiskey
& Look around!

The scent of
high neuroticism
& low openness
stinks harder in the people.

Reality is repellent.
Dreams are seductive
even as I was dying.

It’s not something
to fret nor worry about!
It’s just a phase
and a play of the world you're acting in.
Acceptance is the great solution—
Bear it for now!
Just as night surrenders to day
& it arises
Sorrow will go away
& joy will bloom like roses ~~

Aromatically
&
beautifully
&
magnetically.

I love you.

People say
Closed eyes see nothing
So,
Hey, nothingness?
My nothingness, such a seraphic...
~~
When my eyes are closed
All I see is beauty
The angelic face of yours.
~~
-A universal hint!
Both reality & a dream,

~As beautiful as you seem~

Any time
Every time
It makes my mind strive~

~A restless power~

Starving!
Starved for desire
Not in the way a ball rolls
But in the depth of my love's goals~

~Love~

I was young & free
when the clouds were young
as well
but I aged sooner.
They still float
while I fall
thruu time
Women,
Family,
Bills,
&
Lastly
Jobs?
(Maybe tomorrow…)

Day
by
day…

I barely remember
what it felt like
to fly.

Oh clouds & I

You smell like gardenia
as in late spring.

I'm walking away
for I might pluck thee—
& you’ll wither by dusk
after a day.

For thy sake
I'm walking away
& waiting for another
fierce bloom of May.

You wrecked my time
with every surprising rhyme.
Once in a while!
You slowed down, stood still & sped
Allowing my illusions to be Fed.

You made me think
I’m bless’d~
The old-fashioned way
you’re dress’d.
My eyes are spellbound
&
I’m obsess’d.

Lost in your thoughts
&
Lost in your way
My eyes
Are madly restless today.

Oh, my Love—stab my eyes—
destroy my eyeballs!
Wait No!!
The final solution—stab me instead—
stab this House of breath
until you're sure I'm—dead!

The world looks better
when it’s not looking back.
a photo doesn’t ask you
to pay rent
or get sober.

it just sits there
pretty
quiet--
crooked
honest in a way life never is

Thy eyes
they lie.
the camera doesn’t.
it just
clicks.

It Just captures !

Don't love me
~
I'm powerless
&
frail like a bound ower
Paralyzed & chased
Plucked like an innocent flower
For thy vanity & egoism
For thy agility & False altruism
a sip of lies
Like a sip of whiskey
Both bitter & sour
Float from lips that once bloomed with power.

Don't love me

Powerless --

Oh, her raven hair tied with a white scrunchie
how it shimmered like night around the
  moon.
I longed to weave
wild daisies & cherry bloom
Thru her touch
thro' those strands, soft as love letter
  never sent.

Then perhaps my dream
  like a mad, golden butterfly
would flit, dance and burn on those blossoms
  brief, bright & utterly hers.

Seek to understand the humanity
within those differing views—
along the road of visions
a highway, potholed, dusty, muddy
& infinite.
  Psychologically
grub along like a hitchhiker
on the road of Visions!
  where visions & perceptions
reshape the path to wisdom.

~~
Hitcher on the road
hitcher on the road—
of visions.

~
I could resist
I could!
Oh surely
I swear I could.

I need no anesthesia
No Anesthesia or numbness
Darling~
Please

Come over me
  My Dr. Sweet Anggie please
    I implore you!
Take your razor-edged scalpel
   Only you!
Make a safe incision.

With your soft warm hand
   Wrench my heart away from me!
 Detach my pumper & leave me whole.
    Undo my pumper with my brain
  So I may cease this non-physical war!

 Let the blood flow torrentially & free,
   Like lunatic waters in breaking dams &
 rivers.
I care not!
  I want it nevermore.

Take it it’s yours!

I want it nevermore
  Take it it’s yours.

~~

She Said,
"I was his Strawberry Moon
Red & dim
Lambent with love.
But he never stepped into my light
Never felt my red beams.
And now…
Time is gone.
Time is gone."
~
& after all, what did he reply?

~
She is mute
&
I'm blind.

~
If She is Spring & I a Tree
Skeletal, in Winter's grip
My Tears have long since fallen
Like Leaves that Time forgot
No more to fall, no more to weep
But come, oh come, with gentle Hand
& touch me, as the ripples stir
In some unfathomable Sea
That I may bloom & fall again
To weep & shed anew.

~~
Come my love & touch me
Let me bloom thrive into verdant green
So I can shed my leaves & cry again for thee.

~

I wanna stop.
I don’t wanna stop—
at the same time.

Somebody stop me
Somebody drag me
from this whirlpool of glass & shame.

Somebody stop me
Somebody stop me—
from going blind,
eyeless, bound in chains.

Somebody stop me
from slipping in vain.

Oh, my f~cked-up soul—
my drunk, derailed brain.

A curse
Spelled in black magic
Leaking, evermore.

ufff

Grief floods
Lament gushes
Not blood.

Lesion //Leak
Forever.

The Unknown Tower
Quiet & deserted.
A way to the top
The elevator hums, rising.

I step out.
I open the door, enigmatic.
I close the door,
Turn the kn⁰b…

Instantaneously
The cold metal snaps in my hand!
I am locked out.

A voice
Deep Inside !
"Have a glance."

Down,
Down, down,
Down,
Down, down…

I peer over the edge—
Acrophobia strikes!

A war ignites between me
& my unknown ‘Someone.’

I hear the voice again
It is not mine.
Or is it?

I scramble, trying to fix the kn⁰b,
But that 'Someone'—
Powerful, cunning—
A puppet master, a gaslighter,
A shadow pulling the strings.

I can’t think anymore!
Thoughts crumble like shredded paper!
Or did ‘Someone’ crush them for me?

"Do a high dive to nowhere!
Do a high dive to nowhere!
Do a high dive to nowhere!"

The voice pounds like a drum.

Drive,
Drive, drive, drive, drive,
Drive, drive,
Drive…

"My bébé, drive."

Once again,
The table is yours.
The table is yours.

Step forward.
Hesitation wanders, the fear of loss.
Look down.
No acrophobia!

The tower does not end.
The fall never stops.

I turn
& there is no door.

Goodbye.
Will you die to find yourself?

~
It's strange to miss a stranger.
~~

~
She hove into view
drawing near.
We hu~mped
pleasure turned to fire.
I woke
lost in possession
my nod now twisted
into wickedness.

~~
Now,
anything she wants
anything she rules!

~
Anything
~~
Anything