Do your heart strings break when you think of me, too?
No.
I carried the love for me and for you.
With rose-coloured glasses, my tears washed your face.
While you whispered the sweet nothings
Of being your biggest mistake.
So, break if I must, to shed your skin.
One must end for another to begin.

Overwhelmed and underwhelimg
In the things most important
Drowning in the air I can no longer feel
Buzzing and swirling around me in melodies and soft caresses
That would spring my steps and twists my fingers into beautiful worlds of colour and chaos
Now I have been anchored in this underwhelming realm of ****
I can no longer see past the flesh around me
Feel the spirit of the trees
Nor hear the Goddess sing in the falling snow
No.
My life has become controlled by this...this small sponge of chemicals that absorbs all my colours and leave me dulled and gray
I'm calm; so calm I'm empty
There is music no more
And my magick is astray!
Is this normal?
Who would ever want to be normal??
I say, as I swallow the pills and start another day

Was it when you beheld all 7 pounds and 8 ounces of me that you decided you didn't want me?
(All I ever wanted was to be wanted by you.)
Or when your boyfriends favored my flesh over yours?
(To be protected by you.)
Was it when my health bottomed, and I became too much of a burden that you realized you didn't care for me?
(To be nurtured by you.)
I know I felt it at 16 with split wrists and no future in sight when you screamed I was your biggest mistake.
(It's alright, I am my own.)
The heartstrings snapped one by one at 18 as you threw me away like Tuesday's trash, inconvenient to your days' plans.
(All I ever asked was to be guided by you.)
I felt your hatred suffocating me as I covered your claw marks on my wedding day.
(All I needed was to be a daughter.)
The walls crumbled the day I gave you silence and you gave me back Flame.
So, to answer the question:
Yes, you cared. But only about the things you could hate me for.
I guess I'll always be the favourite mistake.
*(When all I ever wanted was my mother's love.)

I am but a leech, desecrating in lilly glossed waters;
Clotting beautiful beads, like bracelets, across wet flesh.
Desire is a horseman in this world, coming to close the curtains on the day.
Why stop? For lashes from the scepter that was to guide us?
Fractured and rotten; yet we still cling for a taste of a crumb of the life once held within it's dead trunk.
Death. But an old friend and a forgotten enemy greedily tickling this slicken frame.
Fingers float tempting whispers to my every nerve and I long for my senses to set ablaze in those writhing clutches
Screaming from inside for release that teases and tingles like the ****** that never comes. Shaken and slightly shrunken
Light blazes at the doors, searing and scorching the very flesh that holds a withered frame
No longer seeking escape,
I slither back to the darkness I seem to have forgotten was home once before