Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live -Norman cousins

The sweet smell of late winter running through my nose. The brisk air pushing me to close my bedroom window. The **** taste of coffee at 5:00 in the morning. The long wait of my lower class T.V. To turn on. I think I will take a walk instead today.

I am no king. I am merely a shadow left in the dust from those who are burned from the flames of hate and poverty. I am no king. I have no jewels, I have no voice, I do not have a guard to defend me from the man who truly does have power. I feel pain and live a hell satan couldn't create. I am no king, so don't make me out to be one princess.

To the person who spends 6 days a week at work,
5 days filled with exercise,
4 days surrounded by friends,
3 days at school
2 days working on yourself and
1 day to relax and play soccer.
Life is to short to be short of time for yourself.
You lack the sympathy from others so you can't even think about what you want for yourself.  You need to realize all this hard work is getting you minimum wage, lack of friends and a lack of you.
If you were to look in a mirror, would you see succes painted across your forehead, or would you see a blank slate smothered across your face. Your eyes have become blackened with other peoples succes as you watch them stomp in front of you. Your heart has become cold like the moonlight you use to see before you became a "Hard worker".  Look through your problems and reconstruct. Mold your future into something you remembered brought you joy, and don't become the person you are now.

I see you through those bar windows, I feel the cold cuffs around my wrists, I feel the black stick hit me every time I watch you get arrested. You said we were family but I've never had family rat me out over bail. You said you were my ride for life but now you have a flat tire and in walking home tonight. I'm no mechanic, but I do know that you're totaled. Have fun in the okay pen, I'm going home.bro. See you on the other side.

I rest in the arms of myself. I've spent the last years of my childhood in the arms of the wrong person, and I have had no regrets leaving. The meaning of love have changed places with lust and strong emotions. Now I'm on a journey to search for myself before I trust anyone to hold what I've been protecting for so long. Love should be shared for one to know and the other to learn. The meaning of love is everlasting and never quaking in fear. Love is what I'm looking for. If I find it in myself then maybe one day I can share it with someone who will hold it with pure intentions. I'm sorry for those I've hurt, but you weren't the one. Take this time to be yourself before jumping into the arms of a stranger. Life is too complicated to make guesses. Be strong and hold out, for life has many hidden secrets and strong paths for you to walk. Don't fear what could be, fear what you've seen and tread this path heavily. Falling isn't the worst to happen, the worst to happen is to not walk any path because of fear.

I drown out your voice by not caring about you anymore.

I'm bounded by shackles, I'm locked in a cell and all I have is my dignity. I have high hopes for the next generation but first I have to look up from my phone. I have to unplug my shackles and delete my media. I have to meet people behind the thin screen of my curse and addiction.

Death seduces the weak, and ignores the strong. Suicide roams the air like its a new drug. Death is found in every home, and the last adventure I want to take. I grow to find myself growing weak, anticipating death to kiss me in the moonlight. My world has been spinning, only to see the devil is dancing with us all.

You live under a roof of psychotic misfits. You have such a gentle soul and should not waste time arguing with someone who will not see your value. You are blood but you have no ties to them. Choose your family cause sometimes the one that's provided will throw you under the bus.

My heart is cold this is true, but it's not as cold as when you let go of it before giving it back. Not as cold as when you steeped it in what I thought was "love" and then peel back the plastic casing with a joking laugh. My heart is cold because you left it with no warmth. It's cold because I was left in the dark with no light and two options. My heart may be cold but it will never be as cold as the blade that ran through me for the last time. You can say it was suicide but it was never the same, because I've always felt dead around you, And I'm still apologizing for getting my cold hearted blood on your knife. Excuse me for my ignorance. I promise there won't be a next time.

The dark consumes me like the cold covers the night, the tears wash my blood as my blade only deepens the wound. The depression acts as a blanket when I need warmth. Suicide becomes a thought when I see no hope. My blade becomes a must to my problems. My belt becomes a nuce for my throat. My life becomes hell that I call home. Pain becomes the life I choose to live. The only thing keeping me alive is a friend. A very special friend that shows me pain identical to mine. So I choose to live in silence knowing others can feel my pain. I choose to live with her and one day we bwill show each others scars.... One day

This feeling is swallowing my very being. Every day I feel a striking pain but no particular area is the cause. I've taken medication, but no medicine can help what I have. I wrote my feelings on paper for you to read and you just burned it to the core. I drink shot after shot to **** what hurts and it only makes me see my demons and they yell profanity and curse my writing. I am no poet but an outlet for the less unfortunate. Let me show you what pain really does when you release it through ink.

I spend my days sipping hot tea and roaming different trends of words

One by one death takes its toll. In the worst times, death creeps in like a mouse finding its food. You try and prepare, and you,you think you're ready, but one by one death takes its toll.

My hands tremble from the burden you give me. My time is taken from the burden you bestow upon many. My check is limited from the black coal you hold so dear. I clock in, I clock out. My back aches of misery and advil. I lye on my death bed waiting to realize that today, today I am awake, but far from alive..

Don't be offended by hurtful words. The fact that the person is taking the time to tell you shows they have a little interest in you. Take what they say and embrace it, because in the future they will loathe that you are strong.

As I paint my mind with nostalgia, the memories flood through. These thoughts keep me in an infinite loop of regret. It's been so long since I've seen you, but I understand we became toxic. I suffer from each memory, laughing like it happened yesterday, but crying because it happened a year ago. This pain never weakens, I just become resilient to the constant reminder that I ****** up. If my words never meant anything, than I'm left with a blank page and emotions I cannot decipher. I get anxiety when I feel you're close to me, but I also get excited knowing that I might actually get to see you. I've had my wrongs in the past, but each one is replayed... Each one is my imprisoned thought.

Her body is my home. Sweet and warm. I can smell the beautiful fragrance of her perfume, and I can hear her soothing voice echo in my ears. Her vibrant smile reflecting off my thick glasses. She laughs at my corks and holds my heart. Her soft hands skim the surface of my cheeks and her personality makes me tremble to my weak knees. My goosebumps couldn't have come at a better time. I'm glad SHE is mine.

My hands tremble like an earthquake, my breath freezes in my own sorrow, my head spins like a merry-go-round. Some find it fun to ride and some fine it bitter and nasty. My feet can't even fit themselves so how can I fit anyone else's? I got rags on my back and a smile on my face but no one can tell the difference. I'm stuck in a hole with a rope and a blade so which one will I choose? I'm not smart enough to choose the rope because I guess I'm not bright,. It could be because my life has been in the dark and its what I'm used too, or it could be because my mind is tainted from the hell my parents have left me. I'm just waiting for it to freeze over like the cold hearted souls it affects.

I spend this remaining time thinking of you. This song floats my mind on its stormiest day. I wait for it to calm, but you are all that stays. No matter how much I shake, you stay like a snow globe; no matter how much is around you, your face is a clear picture. This melody sends me back to a time where everything was okay. I sway to the beat wishing you were in my arms. I wish the brightest day was when you smiled in front of me. Your eyes spray sunshine, but our memories tear me apart. I wonder if you'll ever read my pointless poems. I've spent too long regretting what never could be. I'm sitting behind a phone listening for the moment I can burst into a conversation with you, but its 1 am.

My words are tainted with the bitter taste of whiskey. My hands tremble in the presence of lies and abuse. I no longer sleep and I no longer eat. I am rested in death and filled with bad thoughts and inner demons. I can only suppress them with more alcohol and the slow burning cancer stick. I no longer am a poet but a drunken teen with no future.

I strangle myself to see what my last words will say.  I bleed the past as it flows from the evil inside. I've grown so much, but my actions have only haunted my future. I take a step forward to see that my path is a circle. My emotions are waiting to explode, but nothing will come of that. I fear new paths, but it seems this one had only lead me to the hatred that ignites my flames.

My baby, thank you for visiting. It seems to have been years since I last hears from you. My nights grow darker without you. My days dim to a small flame thaybhelps me push through. Your light has helped Mr see far, but I miss you with my whole heart. Daddy wishes he could be strong for you, but you seem to be stronger than I. I'm proud of you baby girl, I can't wait to see you in heaven.

Longing for a breath to fill my lungs, Waiting to stop my anxious hands, Hesitating my every move., Obfuscated on my very being. I  feel trapped inside myself, and stressed about the tomorrow. I wake up to realize that is just how life works...

Your color differs, that is true, but your color does not define you. My brother in this country please get back up. The emotional lashes upon your back are healing, and together we can stop this. My brother in strength please grab my hand, for we will change this together. My brother please help me through this journey for I am colored as well. My brother please get back up for this is not our last lash but our last time from staying down. Get up and show that racism is dead and we are not.

Your eyes beam glory, but your body reads my name. Every flower etched into your thoughts have traveled deep in the seclusion of my bedroom. My walls scream of memories, but not one reminds me of bad times. You have lit my life without spreading a single flame. You have calmed my waves, and filled the hole that trapped so many others. Why me? Why are you so good to me? You lifted me up before i even fell. You have risen to a level only I wish to reach. You are the reason I breathe love for myself. I consumed evil in my eyes just to cover it up with a smile you can't resist. You have seen past my mask and have uncovered what I have never seen. I thought love could never exist with a soul as cold as mine, but you have proven time after time that I have more to me than what society has given . I thank you for your efforts, nobody has ever tried this hard before.

When you let go of someone important, don't regret letting them go. As pain seeps into every empty space they left, you will find yourself remember only the good. Remember everything they left, for when you come to realize how much better you can be, all of those memories will become apart of you. They will be nothing but something that had happened. Happiness comes with getting yourself back up. Lost ones don't leave holes in your heart, they leave all of the thoughts you use to have, but now it's time to move on. You're doing everything they want you to do. Pick yourself up and prove you can be your own person.

Let me run my bitter sweet words through your veins, let me listen to your angelic voice one last time. Let me see your face and etch my name into you. Let my soothing voice get the best of you. Let your guard down so I can be apart of you for once. My head hurts and my hands shake of anxiety. I never in my life have seen such beauty so  please let me make you mine.

You give me too much attention. Let go of what hurts and stay positive. You may find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place, but hard places tend to be broken and go away. Take your pain and place it on a shelf for you to laugh at later. Give me nothing but silence so I can enjoy my peace and space.

Through the blistering fires and the piercing wounds. I stand before myself. I lay in the depths of all emotions. I rest my head on the thought of being something else but maintaining myself. I've seen the inside of every lie and truth I've ever told. I have heard the noises I made and the effects they've caused. I have finally found what I've been longing for. I have found myself at last.

My past has choked you, burned you, and left you to save yourself. Now that time has caught up, you still rage with anger. Your words become choppy, your decisions seem random, and your mind seems stuck. The lies that ran from my mouth have been repented. I've served my time in the shadows. I've seen myself for who I was, but many things have changed. You've changed most of all, and I apologize for your self loss. I hope you still grow stronger, and rely on something other than fear and anger. You'd make a great citizen, and excellent writer, but most of all.. A great teacher.

It was you, it was you who stole my dreams.

Illuminate the path you have carved into my heart. Take what you have left and don't look back. Pull whatever knife you've had in my back and throw them at your next victim. Unveil the identity you've cherished for so long. Show me what its like to have my heart ripped from the cold hands that had pieced it together.

You spoke in tongue as if I understood. You moved your body as if gravity wasn't a problem. You burrowed yourself deep inside of my heart, but for some reason, you just don't feel foreign. My fingertips glide across my chest, searching for the musical beat you set in play. This feeling overwhelms my senses, and I find myself blinded by beauty. When you spoke in tongue, it was so new, but now I understand and I want to say "I love you too"

Stretch your vocabulary, and speak to me like I am a canvas. Treat me like abstract art. Try to learn me, and try to see that I am different. Spill your ink on the floor, and see how it forms. You can't see what isn't yet. You can't assume or guess someone's  lifestyle. Pay attention to the crease on my shirt. See the smile that brings plenty more. You are too far gone for me to bring you back. You have set out for something I can't attend, so please remember me when you can. Remember the laughs we shared, and the kisses that came behind our love. Remember that you will always hold my love, and you will never have to feel something different.

My deepest feelings are through my fingertips, as I etched my life through pain and happiness. I tried shading myself Into something I'm not, but I felt the deepest affinity when I rolled my fingers over the work of art you made yourself into.

I saw your spirit and burned it to your skin. I held you in my arms and told you it would be okay. I told you I loved you and I meant it. Forgive me of my faults. Forgive the condemned selfless boy you once knew. I ask for your savior and I'm sorry I asked too late.

I slip into a daze of dishonesty and regret. What's to stop me? Your 'rules' have no affect if they are broken easily. I need a new dimension to comprehend how treating others as inferiors, if you were to step Down from that balcony, maybe you can hear the cries of desperation and inferno filled hate. Listen to the "inferiors" next time you look in a mirror.

Your lips are lined with silver, sharpening as you steadily mark what's yours. Your long hair flows in the wind created from my breath being taken away. I want to explore what you believe and see where your boundaries end. Take my hand and let me pour myself into you.

Your writing has staggered off path. Don't force yourself to write literature that only makes sense to you. Let your pen and paper guide you to what needs to be said. Forcing a poem will only lead to wasted time and frustration. Life is too short to force anything. Ride your emotions as if they were a theme park. Let yourself flow with them and become part of them. Your emotions know how to write, so let them see what our world is like.

It took years to suppress you and only minutes to embrace. You have given me hell, but let me see some beautiful insights. I've poured you and varied you and did everything to numb you. From drugs to alcohol, self harm to counseling, and you've never died. You've made me feel things I've never wanted to feel, but I thank you for being the only thing to stay by my side.

I use to spend everyday doing the same routine. When I realized the pain I've caused myself and others I continued to do them. The little voice in my head told me to cause pain so I can feel numb when I fall. I spread blades across my floor and lead scars amongst my skin. I have hurt you and myself. I feel no l remorse so accept that I am insane.

Why is that everytime life seems to be stable, I decide to question the trail? Was it the insecurities I grew up with? Or something deeper? Like regret of ever falling, or the constant fear of being alone? Was it the self induced scars that marked its territory around my body? I have pondered this thought for some time and have decided that.. We always question lifes trails. If it weren't for the vintage rope bridge that leads us to another part In life, then we would be sitting and not achieving what should be our realities. Life does not have a "no man left behind" program. Life is not something we can hack, or play or even see. Life is  planned out from our birth, and we go along with every jump, pull and sprint. I have decided that I can not be a better person without battling my bridges and burning them after so no one can follow. I will be on a path life chose for me and I am determined to go further everyday. I have decided that questioning my path only leads to regret. That only paying attention to one obstacle, leaves me weak and stuck in the past. The real question is, what is tomorrows plan?.

It was me. It wasn't the angel that had become my everything. It wasn't the life my had become, but it was me. It was the lies that rolled off my tongue like it happened centuries ago. It was the addiction that dug me deep enough to see no way it. It wasn't the perfect girl who did everything for me. It was me, that dug myself so far all I can do is tell myself that I messed up.

Paint my life the way you see it. Rip down the blocks I have placed in front of you. Let yourself roam my mind, and see what you fail to realize. Lift me up and show yourself how ruthless you have been. My life is meaningless, I am just an image trapped in a 9x12 frame.

She asked if I was real. How am I to answer this? Of course I have a soul and a heart so yes I am real, but am I? Am I ready to start over again? Shouldn't I be asked if I am okay first?

I slip in a daze and I tip the *****. I throw my life in the garbage and my bottles on the night stand. I've had emotions until the bitter poison hit my blood stream. I'm nothing but a drunken mess.

Blue is the depth of your eyes, grazing over my very being. The little black hole that pulls me in this web of pure affection. I wish to be tangled in this forever and hope to find you spending every waking moment seeing us grow.

Your body motions for me to follow, but where are we going? You held the match to a candle and the shadows danced upon the walls. Our bodies connected for eternity. These days without you pain me, but I know soon our shadows will dance among the moonlit sidewalk. Until I see you again I wish you all the love from the depths of this bottomless heart.