You showed me cold love.
You neglected my feelings.
You took me for a joke.
You blamed it all on your problems.
You made me like this.
Like you.
Broken.

I’m sorry.
For allowing you to feel guilt.
For making you doubt yourself.
For not believing you could do better.
For not knowing your worth.
For making mistakes.
For blaming you.
And most importantly..
I’m sorry for not putting you first.

Thoughts of you keep me up at night.
We can go days without speaking.
Yet a day can’t go by without you crossing my mind.
Sometimes bad thoughts.
Sometimes good thoughts.
But you always wriggle your way back into my brain..somehow.
Especially late at night..
When my minds does nothing but wonder as to what could’ve been.

The pain remains.
My heart is drained.
Will you ever change?
As my mind is detained.
By the thoughts of your complains.
I think to myself.
Could you be the one I wake up next to?

You let me be.
Understand me.
Let me blossom as a woman.
If I needed a shoulder to cry on..
..you’re there for me.
You see right through me..
If I needed to ,I could cry and you would catch my tears..
Shame we didn’t last.
I feel lost without you.
And I’m the one to blame.

She don’t want love.
She don’t love no one but herself.
What about love?
What about lust do you trust yourself?
Do you think your worthy of love?
Are you certain that you are..?

The ceiling grew in size.
My vision became blurred.
I began to see nothing but black.  
I struggled to move.
My body felt as if it was being constrained.
I couldn’t speak.
My voice was gone.
I couldn’t do anything.
I felt helpless.
I felt paralysed.