You were supposed to nurture me
Make sure I was well taken care of
In ever aspect of my life
Yes my belly was full
And I was kept warm
But with each passing day
Inside me grew a storm
A child who had to raise herself
On her own
They was no nurture only nature
Force to adapt in order to survive
And all I knew is I was dead inside
And new issues rose
My life a lie
And with that knowledge I spend most time high
So I may forget how much I wanna die
And know I wonder why
I even fight to stay alive

Ready closely
For these words I write
Will take you on the journey
Of my life

You want to hear about heart break
I spent two whole years making mistakes
Letting you walk over me
Making me believe that there was something
Wrong with me
I gave my all
And you let me fall
I wish I could take it back
I would tell myself drop him
It'll never last
Thought I was so lucky
How stupid to think you were the one
This was all supposed to be fun
I helped you in ways no young girl would think to
Stuck my neck out for you
And you smashed my heart
Like it was nothing new
Played me like your games
Knew exactly what buttons to press
And then you got bored and left me a mess
I tried so hard to pick up my pieces
For awhile I refused to believe it
How in the hell could I just leave this
This thing I thought was love
But love doesn't break you
Or play you like a game
Love doesn't cheat and lie
By saying it wont happen again
Love does not just stop in the middle of the sentence
You were not love
You were lust in every sense of the word
And I'm glad that were done cause I'm a survivor

The First man to ever love me broke me
Made me feel I was never enough
I called you daddy but, you barley know me
Raised me to abandon me
For years I longed for you
All I wanted was a message or a call
Don't even know my birthday
And that hurts most of all
So much anger and pain
I'm so ashamed, that you're my father
Lucky enough you still get that name
Because if not that id live my life ashamed
So many words unsaid
So many actions to undo
But I'm over it
So in order to mend things it's up to you

The exhale of relief
for some that's at the end of the day
when curled up in bed, and the day is ending
if you're lucky you have one moment of piece
and you exhale out all the stress
all the ******* and feel calm
I have yet to have that relief
I'm constantly a mess
Each breath I try to feel that peace
Instead I breath out anxiety
And am still worried for the next day
If you are lucky to have that exhale
Remember it, Its what will keep you going
Then next time you get lost.

I’m scared to speak out.
Scared to be seen...as weak.
That’s not me.
I’m put together.
Born to be super.
But I’m not.
I get tired. I break. I’m not invincible.
And most of all.
I’m not perfect.
Writing is my escape.
It’s where i speak loudest.
I just wish I was heard.

I write and I write...
But it’s all useless.
All my work is gibberish.
I just rant.
Hopeing something will come to be.
All this pain is still inside me.
It wants to be set free.
So I smoke.
Hopeing it’ll spark inspiration.
Yet instead it either sparks numb or hesitation.