You were toxic.
Tearing me mentally limb from limb.
I though I could trust you.
Let you in.
That was my mistake.
You took my heart and crushed it.
Like it was nothing.
Made me feel like I was nothing.
Now look at me.
Finding it hard to trust.
Hard to love.
All because you were my everything.
And to you I was nothing.

It's hard not to get attached when I look in your eyes and go to a different place.
Or when we kiss and all my problems fade away.
How can I not get attached when you've become my home
It's hard not to fall when everything he does has you floating.
And it's scary
Because that can be taken away in a blink of an eye.
No more late talks.
Or laying with you and our dog
If I get attached and it ends..
I won't just fall...
I'll plummet.

We are told there are levels of society.
Being a bi-****** African American female.
Means I am at the bottom of the chain.

She loves him.
But he loves her.
The typical first love situation.
I'm Seeing it first hand.
**** man.
How ****** is our society.
Teaching people they need others in order to be happy.
I will let me children know.
That it's totally fine to be alone.

I'm free.
Although i didn't choose to be.
I've made mistakes.
But I'm young you see.
Life happens.
People change.
You say we don't deserve eachother..
But I think you just wanted a way out.
Because my love is to much.
That's OK though. I'll give my love to me.
I'll try to feel free.

I'm sorry that you fixed me.
I'm sorry that I'm no longer broken.
Not in the way you want me to be.
But I am broken...
And it's because of you.
I'm sorry that I'm not what you want.
I'm sorry I'm not her.
I'm sorry I'm not new.
I'm sorry I'm not special.
I'm sorry that I cared to much.
I'm sorry..
But I love you

"He doesn't deserve you"
"You need to leave him"*
2 years went by...you made my world so bright..
Everything was new when I first met you.
I broke my rules, to be with you.
And now my world is crashing down.
The ground below is crumbling and you're not here to catch me...