I vainly sought in him a cure to the same pain he caused.
we would raise our arguments like sitting ducks just to to knock them down with reasons of logic or luck of love
Some things cannot be undone, people say we are meant for each other, but is it truly so
Maybe just a comfortable phase but will anything grow?
He whispered that there was only me, I believed all that he breathed in my ear, he pulled me in close, closer than anyone before..
I think I hate him now, a bit more every day but I've not given up yet- I want him to stay.
I wonder.. how do you fight jealously
How do you make it stop it’s constant hunger inside you.
Skin so soft that it doesn't seem real, in so deep I can’t keep it concealed
but
The doubt is consuming, the wall inside me was well-built and unyielding, my heart left too crippled from past abusers to possibly endure anymore pain
So if this love fails it will destroy everything in its wake.
I become enraged from time to time when the little green bug called jealously feeds away inside of me
Love has taken control, the knowledge that i let “love” dismantle the wall,
that i spent years building and reinforcing
brick by ******* brick, piece by ******* piece
i let him gradually demolish it and now i am powerless and susceptible and now he has me by the heartstrings and he holds me in his greedy palms.
I even pray to God, I tell him that i would do anything
anything just to take back control.

You give and give until they pull everything out of you and leave you empty

In this battle for the freedom of our souls some may think
Maybe I should've let go long ago
From being kings and queens, Chiefs and Pharaohs
To ******* in the cotton fields
To slaves being whipped and forgotten
We were stolen.
Stripped from our homes and looted of our gold.
Fast forward
Now we are doctors, lawyers, professors
But Don't tell me the cotton fields have recovered from our tears
Our sweat seeps deep into the souls of America
So Don't tell me the cotton fields have recovered from our blood.
Fast forward
"All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law."
They tell us equality is coming.
That it is here.
Then let you wait holding your breath
Suffocating.
Black boy shot and killed for walking down the street
Black boy whipped and beaten for looking master in the eye
Tell me are you still holding your breath?
Still suffocating
Still waiting for the keys to our chains
Fast forward
Black lives matter
All roads torn down, we've paved new paths  
Stripped from our houses so we built homes
Lotted for our gold but we are golden
Black is hard to get rid of, that annoying stain that stays to long
Black is rough and tough
Black is solid in luring ways
But
Black lives won't matter until we love our own people
Black lives won't. matter. to. them. because you've called that girl a "*** or Thot"
Black lives won't matter until we stop the black on black blood splatter
For black lives to matter...
We must empower each other
Standing together the ground will break recognizing he whose tears, sweat and blood upon which it was built
So take one look at our past
Because this will be the last

Imagine falling out of a window or getting in a car crash, break some bones, get a few stitches, scrape some skin
You'll get a cast, few bandages and anesthetic
Now Imagine cancer, a tumorous mass maybe somewhere in your brain or lungs.. not even noticeable to you let alone those around you then some day there's a huge 8 pound mass right in your cerebellum...
Fact of the matter is your body has produced this and it is actually trying too **** you
That is what depression is like
Depression isn't a sudden disaster
You go through your whole life thinking your okay maybe this feeling is just apart of getting  older till one day you wake up and you wish you hadn't.
All you've got is the Oxytocin blues and an appetite for Ritalin
****** to be able to face people and Prozac to make it through the day.
Now can you imagine finding a cure too all the ailments of life, all the hypothetical and real problems.. something even Xanex, opiates or hallucinogens will never allow you really feel.
The essence of another dancing throughout your mind, seeing significance in life even if not yours but that of another.
when you find someone who makes you understand the definition of these words, when you find the one person you can't get out of your mind after taking pill after pill desperately trying to forget them, when you look at someone and can't see a flaw, when your with someone that makes you feel so much all at once that you have to stop and try to remember the last time you've actually been that happy or laughed that hard and can't think of another single moment like the one your in..
You've found your cure.
Some of us don't