am i a little bit nutty
just a wee *** of crazy
warped, maybe.

But no sugar, please
this cafe full of clowns,
drones, on an awning of sounds
i yawn when I'm sick
till my stomach sits
nausea won't close my eyes
I'll stare at the nothing,
an eternal sky
feel myself break into atoms
one by one
neglected by realness
lost in my own particles until I am all prickles
evaporated and dry.

laying in bed remembering sensations
conversations,
places.
These moments brush my cheek
then smother me like i'm an illness,
but they can't get away.
These memories hide from my glances.

A shower of rainbow beads
ricochet from my fingertips,
warm mist quietly descends,
whispering secrets from the Heavens,
a trap door for sunlight.

I  may have crushed all the delicate
Crap
of my soul

that "ever yearning for you"
that washes up on window panes  

the constant deflation,
cowering
chained-up-into-deep-corners-of-destruction-and-self loathing pain.

I plummet face first into the ground.
scuffed skin splintered with stone, a few broken bones,

and a nervous chuckle
are the first breaths of liberation.

when the giggles have gone,
all you've got are the *****

I've got one golden thumb
that's worthless,
heavy at high fives

and two corkscrew eyes,
that role around like dice
when I lie.

A heart shaped nose
that I use to seal envelopes
instead of a kiss

and cotton ball lips
soaked with sweat
from your fingertips

My ant farm abdomen,
consuming to the beat
of bodies and waste

Legs with feet, feather up
thickly, like smoke
coming in at first place.

I am kind of pretty,
not his kind of pretty.

still, I feel ******
...this ram-shackle city

While he in his shiny town,
hold no pity.

I try to mimic the touches that you've made,
here when I’m alone
but I can’t seem to trace the slow
slow
trails,
the ripples
the shivers,
the heat
that you've garnished over my skin,
the feel of your finger tips
sliding along the seams of my sweater,
riding along the ridges of my spine
down and round the valleys of my senses.

I try to mimic the touches that you've made
alas, when I’m alone
my timing is always
slightly off,
your touches feel like a stranger's,
never quite right.
And those carefully carved moments
the order of movements
of walking through the door
to familiar ground,
and laughter
with a twist of lime,
a kiss
and release,
timing that sigh of relief
settling down into the confines of our choices
starting a scene that always seems
to end in a dream sequence in my mind
realizing that it abruptly begins,
and painfully ends in time.

Home grown boy heart in city leaps.
Starry eyed goldie locks,
Girl swing so pretty, sleeps
poetic
shares the world with a fuzed up smile
You’d probably get it, took time
to talk a while
opportunist’s Whit in hand
and hesitation’s fresh
beneath froth.
Cool carbonation sensations
on flesh
exchanges conversation to burst
back
to the farthest room girl
roams to imagined nights with you
rather, to the midnight moon shone across the floor