Afraid to believe
In anything
Yet somehow
Forever enwrapped
In this
Little belief
That the world
Will just be a little bit more
Merciful and forgiving

I am alone,
I pushed all the wrong people,
Away.

you cannot fault one person for changing
it is the nature of human beings
we change as the years pass by
we change as the situation change.

we change in each era of our lives.

you cannot fault one person for changing
changing, it is like breathing
the rise and fall of our chest
inhale
exhale.

'you guys used to be close', they said.

but sometimes as we grow up,
we change direction,
we change our minds,
and we end up being in different roads
that leads us into two entirely different places

with the little thought in the back of our minds
that our roads will unite again
at some point in our life.

Let me tell you a few things about me.
I used to be the insecure one
Felt ugly and worthless
That I am not of this world
Have brains no looks
Didn't put effort in designer clothes

People would tell me that I'm beautiful
I'd smile and say to myself they just try to make me feel better
I doubt the mirror too
Being picked on by bigger kids ruined my self-esteem

Then I started reading books. Taking pictures
"Dressing up" still felt ugly
Boys would come and ask me out
I felt they made bets with their friends

Now I am not afraid anymore
I have decided to embrace my uniqueness
I dress up and attend self discovery  events
I feel beautiful haha I am beautiful
Always have been

I am not afraid anymore

I walk confidently
The ground is made of gold
I am an enchantress

to live and to love is to be vulnerable,
exposing our hearts to flame and to frost.

grief is the most sincere way to honor,
our happiness once it is lost.

If i told you i needed help
would you listen?
Or would your silence
Echo off the walls.
See my life is like a car,
Sometimes moving fast
And other times so **** slow.
If i told you i feel hurt inside
would you not just hear
but listen
to what i said
I need someone to care.
Im tired of trying to fight alone.
Im tired of trying to survive at a table for one.
If i told you
I cry all over my body
And each tear is a knife
And they are leaving scars on my flesh,
Would you cut me a bandage,
Sop up my blood,
Or leave me to bleed out.
If i told you
I was alone and my demons are taunting me
would you get me out
Or would you keep walking
or keep scrolling...
Im not begging for attention,
But one cannot be expected to be alone and silent like a life long detention.
If i told you
I was ready to confess everything
Come clean from my secrets,
Strip myself naked so you could see my imperfections
would you care even the slightest bit
Or are you so selfish
And so ignorant
To walk on
And leave this person to die.
If i told you i was ready to die
would you blame it in cliche,
Or believe it and save me from damnation
Its time to think.
It could be up to you
This isnt just my world,
Its yours, too
and dont you want to be
somebody
To someone?
I need you.
Because all of these "if i told you's
Are becoming
**im telling you

Who would ever think I would fall in love?
Who would ever think someone would be genuinely intrigued by me?
Who would ever think someone would fall in love with me?
Who would ever think someone would ask me to marry them?
Who would ever think my life would change overnight?
Who would ever think I would be so happy?
Who would ever think I would be so happy by waking up every morning?
Who would ever think I would love each and every day?
Who would ever think?