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 Nov 2018 Mae
Cardboard-Jones
She’s awake in the night, she is dreamless.
The tears start to form, they are streaming.
She tries to cry out, but she is voiceless.
My, my, it’s maddening.
And to think that all she loves
Have turned their backs on her.
While her emotions have declare war on her.

Apathy has set in, she is hopeless
That someone will see that she is falling,
And feeling deprived.

She’s all alone as depression slowly covers her room.
The pressure is there, malignant, questioning if she
Can get through the night.

With a mask on her face, she feels stronger
To face all the world, she’ll convince them.
A performance she gives, and they believe it.
But I see her disease, she is breaking.
I’ll take her home.

‘Cuz I sit and watch as depression slowly fills up her wounds.
It spreads to her core, malignant, I wonder if I
Can catch her before she falls.
 Nov 2018 Mae
Luna
I close my eyes
And
I can feel myself dropping
Far far below
Like a feather from the heavens above
Only
I am not a feather
But bone and skin
And I can hear the break and tear
As I fall and crash
On the depths of the ocean
Which stretches and stretches
Below my feet
So depthless
I wonder how easy it is to get lost into it
This sweet merciful darkness;
Calling and beckoning me
Towards it.
 Nov 2018 Mae
alonia
she fights
 Nov 2018 Mae
alonia
a monster
residing deep within
kept her at bay;
made her weak;
peeled her heart;
crushed her soul;
added anxiety
worsen depression;
when actually all this time,
she was fighting herself
 Nov 2018 Mae
Annie
wildfire
 Nov 2018 Mae
Annie
how do u get rid of the shadow above your head
the constant sorrow
the imaginary rope around your neck


struggle to let go of things latched on you
the mismatched
consequences you weren't heading to

this sweet desperation
this inevitable struggle
im looking for myself everyday
with disgrace
in every face

like a wildfire
its spreading in my soul
the darkness and the glitter
the good and the evil

im standing right here
looking down this road
threw my heart in the ocean
it made me weary and old

they believe what they're told
dont bother to look
behind the curtain
where the tenderness folds
the screams get so loud
it makes you cold
 Nov 2018 Mae
E Lynch
It arrives
 Nov 2018 Mae
E Lynch
It arrives,
Unnoticed, unannounced.

Quiet,
At first.

Slow,
Seeping, dripping.

I put it down to a few stressful weeks.
I carry on.

It unpacks,
Worries, anxieties.

Gently,
For now,

Tiptoes,
Whispers, creaks.

‘It will leave soon’ I think ‘It always does.’
I keep going.

It settles in,
Getting comfortable.

Getting louder,
And louder.

Banging thoughts,
Insomnia.

‘Please don’t be happening again’.
I shuffle along my daily routine.

Claws in,
Insidious.

Screaming,
24/7.

Shame, worthlessness,
Hurt.

‘Please go away’.
I’m barely coping.

Growing roots,
Into my brain and heart.

Blossoming pain,
With every beat.

Emptiness, loneliness,
Abandonment.

Silence, Stillness,
‘I can’t move, I can’t cope.’
 Nov 2018 Mae
Rose
Bruises
 Nov 2018 Mae
Rose
Today we had a fight.
I’m not sure how it started,
Or who raised their voice first.
All I know is that now I have bruises.
Ones that sting when you touch them.
You tried to apologize.
You tried to clean me up,
And make me feel better.
But bruises take time to heal.
And so do cuts and scratches.
I can’t forgive you right now.
But the bruises will heal soon.
And then all will be better.
Because I can’t be mad at you.
Maybe if I had kept my mouth shut then we wouldn’t be like this.
Maybe if I wasn’t so sensitive then we wouldn’t have these problems.
Today we had a fight and I’m not sure where it started.
All I know is that I have bruises and cuts and scratches.
That could have been avoided,
If I just kept my mouth shut.
3-14-18
 Nov 2018 Mae
Grand Piano
Steps
 Nov 2018 Mae
Grand Piano
Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
 Nov 2018 Mae
yúyīn
Tired..
 Nov 2018 Mae
yúyīn
JJsbdksndkkdmxmjshJustletmediemmmkbhbxjdnxnbdjxbdnxnnxnxnImsotire­dofthisnsjs nkksbdndnbdthese tears wontstopjdjdnn znjsnndudndkdknfkdmssnfnjdndnndbdbdbdnWhythepainstilllivesin myheartjjxnxjxjdn mykdjdvjsndjcjndndncnxkxnkxndkdkjdnskxhjshdjddndeImsofuckingtired­msnndksnxonshxidnkxndjsjdbjdkslmsndjjdbdisbdjjdksndjdhbsndnndjdjd­ndnd


Youllneverunderstand me
@.**
 Mar 2018 Mae
R
water and air are two very different things
when you pour water out of a container
you're basically replacing it with air

be less afraid of letting go
there's always something bound to come
to replace it, even if you haven't realized it yet
something I came up with while watching someone drink water haha
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