I sit in darkness, soaked in Gin, I remember everything,
except all the things Tequila forgot,
I remember nothing except for the things left to rot

I forgot the darkest nights
most certainly in days light
I forgot you placed the drink in my hand,
is that how we ended up here last night?

A half empty glass we have mired our delusion dear
Do the stories just get better or do we simply fill in the blanks?
Trace our old lines again and again.
Weathered are my eyes behind a mask
It’s no place to breath but anything beats the grave.

As we recall the sunset from the shore it seems so far now
it is but a fraction of the truest sense and the most cursed fools delusion
a switchblades sting and you will remain my favorite scar?

Delusions are illusions with which we fool ourselves
with a magician’s eye and a sense of skill.
Sunsets upon a distant shore are our memories
retreating against our will.

The switchblades knife is rusty and it's only hope is to scar.
Do you revere or revile me?
The empty bottles that lay between us ask for little.
I ask us for more!

Will I be your scar, the one you rub when you’re alone?
Tracing lines that cut so deep but set rigid, like stone?

Perhaps the open wound you created
when you picked apart our past won't heal as quickly,
and like the final drink we had together won't be our last.

Painted is the portrait so far from the truths we all choose to ignore
and now I simply understand are regrets than the echoes of a shared view.

When we break the heart do we find solace in a statue like existence?
We all spill the glass sometimes and a candles view dim will only reflect the shadows we've become.

Tomorrows a dream and the nightmares become a friend far more than this dance
I care no longer to stand and the ice won’t bare the weight of this ego's crash.

Let's skate the ice so thin it cracks beneath the weigh of pain.
Let's dance the tango of wilted dreams and find no shame.
Let the broken heart of shattered glass
be a reminder of our pain
but you and I, we share a common lust
we mix silently, oil and water
blending in the same frame

For from the page to the far corners of this empty floor we have made our choices
Now we understand past regrets in silent reframe

Never doubt the passion for the lack of fire it simmers a volcano underneath the illusion of emptiness and so we find are paths twisted yet always brought back to the same point.

We always speak in shadows what is known in light of day.

Our paths are gritty dirt, pretty split and intertwined
broken cobblestoned nights and sun baked days to which we can’t deny
Shadows that come to play hide the demons
we would once talk to, but threw away
when we attempted to revive a life we weren't meant for
Our answers don't lay at the bottom of the bottle
nor do they rest behind the closed door,
They itch beneath our fractured skin and spill their secrets on the floor
dripping from serrated cuts that pump a life full of ****** memories
the broken bottle stands as sentinel asking always for
One More...
Please?

Maybe we found our muse in a mutual insanity.
Laid bare the vein I question what lingers when nothing remains beneath?

This last round stands only for the night my dear for its clutches are but a moments embrace and an overcast view.
Tomorrow I can never promise what fate hands us by surprise.

Insanity is a fickle Muse
that's sips from a collapsed vein
breaking bottles against skulls
looking for an idiot to blame

Personally I think our Muse
is a Mistress that flogs well in the dark
Chaining our souls to our demons
never shining light on our demise,
Demanding we whip ourselves hoarse
prying opens the oysters
of our murky world spilling pearls of stone into a world so stark

No, the Muse of you and I is an unruly *****.
She chokes our memories and forces our pain
with a flick of her wrist

Empty rooms a glance into are futures lost conviction sweetest angel of the truest flaw may I glimpse the depth none other ever did care to see?
In shared vice words hollow held you as the scars we bare forgotten to only us none should ever have to view .

Where did the glow fade to corners of such darkness we simply died as the old to become jaded as we stand shattered the shards but fragments of the past I no longer care to reflect.

Lust of the moment a need and service nothing more.
We can give all to only share with  so few and in those moments perfection is the truth as ****** up as we are .

Lines I give the flesh you lend cold as the winters imprint over the mountains peak .
Escape the moments only to relive the misery's with every  emotional fix.

You cant go through hell not to show some scars will you embrace mine as I have yours my dear?

We together hold more stories than a asylums wall.
Yet still we stand only to part.
There's no escape from the memories even down the snake of the highway to the western sunsets reprise.

Guess we just have the now so **** the past it just get in the way.

We run a train so happily heading off the rails in shared addiction my dear how I thrive in the destruction my friends I shine no matter the name it's always me.

Her love was like the purest ****** deadly but so ******* alluring and uncut in it's seduction why run when we can walk into a self destructive mess together?

Miles pass we can't deny  it's  a habit like any other late night calls and midnight meetings this stays between us right?

We know the outcome yet like fools before we tread on ground and lies created by broken souls and now scorched earth.
So ******* right in the feeling in the wrong sense .
Claw marks don't leave a bruise but make me feel alive unlike him she speaks within confines of he darkened cab.

And in hell do we find the sanctuary none others can  provide .

Were all wrong just together within a storm shelter can provide comfort even in the pure ******* of false truths and empty lies .

And the broken hearts bleed all the same .

Life's reflection glistens through sands of time.
Days past due reunite with our current days disguise.

We glimmer in the false light portraying us to our knees.
Reaping such qualities turns our words to disease.

Acquisitions conquer minds through solid demise.
Leading hearts of hate to realise.

We are our own living destruction.
Believing such theories brought through subduction.

We replenish the rot of our personality.
To feast off our remaining qualities.

Together we fail united we'll fall.
Through the eyes of evil till death do us all.

-Joseph B Schneider

The beautiful entity that hides in the walls of insecurities,
Drenched in septic opinions.
Purity in a brink of lost from the influence of invisible fears,
Drowning, almost - breathless…
Little bit of innocence and its essence, survived!
Making life still worthwhile.


*© Pax

I don't know you
   But I cried at your funeral

Where are all the carnival rides
The Ferris wheel with bright lights
The fairy floss and cherry cokes
and the warm sultry nights
The call of the racketeer
encouraging all to take a chance
Where's the monkey you carried
just so we could hold hands

Where are all the park benches
that used to ring the pond
Where are the acres of green grass
where we sat as you sang me our song

and where have all the ducks gone?

Where has gone the soda shop,
the big band dance halls
and the local Ihop?

There stands the apartment block
where our little house once stood
Where have all the children gone
that we once watched from the stoop

Where are the endless games
of hide and seek and peek a boo
Where's the night gone, the fires out
Where is the heartbeat of our intimacy we shared in our bedroom?

Its all there in the asbestos ceiling
and in the plaster that is cracked
it crinkles beneath fingers
of cold cotton bed sheets
sterile of comfort and it lacks
the vibrancy of emotions
from another lifetime
Laying still, awaiting the ground
It drifts like fog in an ageing mind

I can only imagine your body on mine.
Our heat in that stuffy apartment.
You're perfect.
I'm an amateur.
You make it so easy..

My daydreams are getting out of control... Forgive me.

A- A part of you know that you are special
B- Because you know the part of you is in there somewhere
C- Clueless, disgraceful, and obedient
D- Depressed over the bad things
E- Everybody has their own feelings
F- Farewell to all the people who are unkind
G- Graceful sometimes you want to be nice
H- Healthy brushing your teeth, kids say no vegetables for dinner
I- I see you all the being good sometimes
J- Just be yourself
K- Kindness to others always
L- Love always have love for others
M- Mind always, expand it, if you don’t use it you lose it
N- Never say never
O- Orange that little container of medication
P- Punctual, don’t be late
Q- Quiet don’t be loud
R- Respectful, respect your elders
S- Smartness, use your head
T- Textbook, that little book in your desk
U- Be Useful, help
V- Venture the world one day
W- Wannabe the person in math class who’s taking your boyfriend
X- Xmas, Christmas, the presents
Y- Yard, no better place to play
Z- Zero, Nada