I spend a lot of my time trying to arrange pretty words into pretty sentences to explain how I feel about you.
But only because my feelings are not very pretty and need to be disguised
Because you cannot simply tell someone  that you would be dead without them.
It makes people uncomfortable.
So instead I'll tell you about how you make my tipsy, intoxicated-till-numb soul feel a little but more safe and at home.
And that my scarred body, made in the image of my scarred heart, may be a bit too cut up to bare any resemblance anymore.
And that I no longer think of time as "moments until I die", but rather "moments until I see you again" or "moments until 'I do.'"
And while I still have my days where not a single thing could ever even hope to "fix" me
Every other day, you do without any resistance.

Days like these, I don’t even know what’s real and what isn’t.
Days like these, I don’t know if it’s all in my head or if life is really like this.
Days like these, I drive myself insane trying to figure out the truth to questions that haven’t even been answered.
Days like these, I scratch myself raw and ****** until things feel safe.
Days like these, I don’t want to be spoken to, or even looked at.
Days like these, I forget how to do normal human things like writing and eating.
Days like these, all I’m really capable of is loving you.

Days like these, I need you.
Days like these, you’re always there.

And when you fall for a girl with hips like hammers and lips like pens, never let her go. Though it may be difficult, do not let her go. She will be the girl who is there to keep you safe. She will be the one who saves you.


She is everything you've ever needed in a person and more.

You always said that all you need is someone who can make a dull day be seen in technicolor
And who will love you for who you are.
And that IS her.
But you never mentioned how you need someone whose eyes are so blue that you could drown in every shade of her iris.
Or how you need someone that will make you bathe with her even though you're not the one who needs cleaning.
You never spoke of how you need someone who is able to make all of your insecurities melt-
Even if only for a second.
You never talked about how you need that girl that will tease you for how tightly you grip her hand when it's dark
And who will make your body thrash and tremble in pleasure rather than terror at night.
You never said a thing about how you NEED that girl whose laugh is too precious to ever forget the shape of her smile.
You never mentioned it because you had no idea.