i love the moon
wrapped around my neck
the small crescent moon bouncing happily on my heart
as we hold hands

that same beautiful moon
in which i trace with my fingers
feeling the smooth moonstone
be imprinted with my fingerprints

that same affectionate moon
as it glided on your chest when we gasped for more air
and you held me close to your heart
as the moonlight shined softly from the window

that same wonderstruck moon
we would fight under
tears that reflected the moonstone
always streaming down my face

that same gleaming moon
that you would wipe my tears
with the hands i had felt for years
and all i could do was look up and dream of

that same distant moon
where i had found out about your disloyalty
and i felt myself slipping into vast space
putting myself in front of asteroids just to feel something

that same sickening moon
taunting me with the way it just
stays up there, coming out only at night
only to observe and listen for chaos that reigns after dark

that same wicked moon
that was suffocating me in my sleep
when i would lie next to your empty shell
gasping for air as i wipe my moonstone tears

that same dreadful moon
as it watched me deteriorate in your arms
burning holes into my chest
dwindling my soul until it left me hollow

i... used to love the moon
when i knew that it was lovingly
wrapped around my neck by you
and you would feel the moonstone with your lips

i used to love the moon
until the last star died
and i ripped it off from my neck
and drove myself into a black hole

that same cynical moon
that you proclaimed your love to me too,
was the same ******* moon
that my entire being was shattered by you

...

i ******* hate the moon.

leave me in my chaos, won't you?

these cries for help are just empty echoes, isn't it?

ignore my tears as they fall, would you?

leave me alone when my body collapses onto the pavement.

isn't this what you wanted?

the sight of my bleeding knees fills you with joy, doesn't it?

and when i cry, you blame it on the chemical imbalance in my brain, isn't that right?

i only ask for you to kneel beside me
maybe even put a band-aid on or two,

so maybe i would stop bleeding and crying for you.

so maybe i could just breathe,
and walk straight for just a few seconds.

so maybe the taste of your lips
can make me forget the taste of my blood.

But telling you that is too much for you, isn't it?

and so i sit here in tears
clutching onto my phone
constantly going back and forth between apps
seeing how you are silent with me
but alive to everyone else.
and im left here to wonder
if me trying to do the simplest things to show i love you
is even enough to let me see your heart
but only these **** tears
that must have already turned my body
into a raging ocean
washes away the bitterness that i gain
and i force myself to smile
to say im sorry
to be the one to message you first
and try to have conversations
to be the only one feeling horrible
about speaking my feelings
just to prevent your tears
to contaminate my overflowing water

my heart ******* hurts.
but you ignore that, just like the messages.

losing your heart
to someone else

is like losing your virginity
once you do it
you can't go back

you'll never be the same.

so why is it that
when i fell in love
with a pixel screen
abandoned in
the other side of the world

did i not feel pain?
why did it feel
as if nothing happened
that we did not
kiss
or say i love you
or make love
late into the night

why does it all just feel like
these memories were set in some kind of
parallel universe?

that begs the question...
did i really love you?
or did i just fall out of
this lonesome feeling?

Sickly
And
Dizzy

Thats
How
Anyone
Tells
Sees

Hear
Only if these
Wielding clocks could stop

I

Lied
I
Killed myself years ago
Evening filled of sorrow

I couldn’t
Take it anymore

Now I can
Only open my eyelids
When my

Grave is found
Or when

The tears wash away yesterday
Of when I

Slit my throat
Like if I was just snipping paper
Effectively cutting my artery
Eventually falling to a
Paralyzing feeling, lead into dark

I

A
M

i wish you coul(d) gauge my eyes (o)ut
and peek ins(i)de the hollow walls
dripping with red pain(t)