You didn't ask for life
If you would of began it
you would of been filled with strife
And this is hard for me to admit

I pictured you as a soul with a heart
A fighter to live
But you didn't even want a start
And it wasn't something I wanted to give

Lets say you did arise
One part of your creation wouldn't be around
I'll be up for years with your crises
and learn how beautiful it would sound

I would give up my dreams
do all I can to give you nadir
and as easy all this seems
Overall I'll be a failure

As you develop
you'll ask yourself questions
becoming rebellious
rewarded with many life lessons

You're a pure soul
not a consequence
although your small role
you'll forever be anonymous

Right now you probably hate me
Its okay I deserve it
I understand and can see
I wasn't qualified and I'm unfit

I accept all that has happened
I feel as though Its what you wanted
It would of been very harmful to you, I imagine
But you won't be forgotten

Maybe we will meet
Perhaps, this was all in the plan
This is all concrete
I appreciate for all you done in your life span

To my unborn
Know it is my fault
Know my heart is torn
It was an unguarded vault

I take all the responsibility
Put me away
All agressive humility
I don't know what to say

I wanted you to be great,
See you smile wide like a boat,
And give you the world to create
and opportunity gloat

You were a surprise
I didn't find out
or know you were Alive
Till I met that route

I was afriad
every ounce of doubt
came into my body and raid
with criminal filled throughout

I put my soft hand over my belly
The pain was a claymore
Struck deep through the jelly
Then I proceeded to see the gore.

Then I  was in mist of knowing
That there was a you
And you were growing
until i saw the red hue

Red all over the white toilet and floors
I squat to sit as the clench of my face starts
While my back leans against the door
Aware you might of just developed a heart

Although you weren't in my plans
I know you were with me for cause
Right now I could of fit you in my hand
But for now I'll put my life on pause

Now an empty exhibit
Because you are gone
Now please visit
but also let me move on

I was stuck so long
In a rut so deep.
It's a simple song
About how I took a leap.

I wanted nothing to do with him.
Greg was not so shy.
Who saw the light that was so dim
To notice I'd fall in love with that guy?

It's ten to three
With him on my mind
I should be asleep
But it's too late to try

Before him I had dangerous boys
Those I rarely think of today.
They used me like a toy
So glad I finally got away

When the feelings were found I thought
'If I follow my heart, my head thinks I'm dumb'
Then I thought,
'But if I follow my head, my heart will feel numb.'

It was a sticky situation
I didn't want to be hurt again
All apart of personal frustration
But I didn't want Greg just as a friend

I followed my heart
With caution from my head
Cupid hit me with the dart
At least I'm not dead

He's so full of love
All for me
He puts me above
For everyone to see

He is my dream guy
Smart, calm, kind
Opposite of sly
And all mine

As I can't stop thinking
Now it's ten after three
God I should be thanking
For leading Greg to me

What's hardest to do
Is letting go of what stops me
In loving you
And keeping me from being free

The chains bring me down
And the cuffs get tighter
Somehow I drown
Although I try to be a fighter

The loneliness consumed
And the darkness fills
And you just assumed
It's all by my will

But I love you
Enough to try to fight
To do what I got to do
To get through each night

But I'll give it away
Surrender everything
All of the pain, if I may,
To get that special ring

Not sure how
But I'll try!
The darkness will leave now
And there will be no more cries

I promise you this all
Till the second I die
I hope we never hit a wall
Because I'll make the sacrifice

Not too sure why
But finding peace within myself is hard
Even when I find the perfect guy
I still hold up my guard

I want to let go
Make things easy
To stop feeling low
Stop feeling queezy

Go back to fun nights
Just living life
Where we didn't fight
And be in the future, where I'm your wife

The future is scary
Something I can't control
Someday I'd like to get married
And always have your hand to hold

But that's not certain
Although it's up to us
To make new beginnings
And never end trust

I'm sorry I'm this way
It's harder for me to live
Sometimes I don't know what to say
All I can do is give

"Tú sin mí"
Is unthinkable
"Yo sin ti"
Is sinkable

Our language can't be reproduced
But I am replaceable
And that's up to us
Y yo lloro y lloro

Por favor mío
I can't stop to think
Take me to Río
Just give me a drink

Is the love there?
I question sometimes
I'm sorry I'm so scared
Overthinking is such a crime

It's difficult to understand.
I just want to sleep
Hold your hand
And know I have you to keep

Dear Gregory,

Falling in love is pretty scary
But with you it's different
Perfect, amazing, and brilliant
We work with one another
Maybe why we're the perfect lovers
Each day with you I learn
You'd never let me crash and burn
I can honestly say this isn't a dream
You make me brightly beam
Other than how you make me feel
There are more signs that this is real
You hold verity within you
Take pride in everything you do
No matter how many times I walk away
You will forever fight and stay
Through our debates I yell and burst
No matter what you'll still put me first
This isn't puppy love or infatuation
It's a beautiful creation  
With all the colors of a cartoon
We paint the perfect honeymoon
And life after that stage
Is a love that grows with our age
I love you indefinitely
I can tell you do as well by the way you treat me
When I'm in your arms
I'm safe and never alarmed
Your kiss constantly reminds
Me to never be blind
Your eyes show me where home is
Without a question, test, or quiz
Your skin is my art
There's a meaning for every inch of every part
Beautiful words on a silver platter
You eat them and your heart gets fatter
With you I hope to be delicate
Since you're perfect and intelligent
My Greg, you I wouldn't break
I'll keep you safe for our sake
The definition within you
Can't be summed up with a word or two
You give me clarity
And I shall repay you with sincerity
From the start
I didn't think you 'd have my heart
From the first time my lip touched your lips
I knew it was you I will spend my life with
Please hold me tight
I promise to love you right
To be there for both good and bad times
To work hard and continue to climb
For the future I have visions
Of us making decisions
Our two kids
Playing in our backyard with leaves and twigs
Watching them grow up
Being a family owning a pup
If only you knew
How much I love you
With every kiss and touch
Every thought and such
Until our death bed
Know I freaking love you Greg
I hope I can make you see clearly.

Sincerely,
Aleyah Llovet-East

P.S I love you most, never least.

From the first kiss
I know I didn't miss
My personal eccentric man
I'm your number one fan
To others you're a typical breed
But you're the different one I need
Sometimes my judgement is misguided to you
And at times you act improper, it's true
But together we guide
In each other we confide
The truth always be told
And the love will swiftly unfold
Our partnership becomes teamwork
To an ultimate "joint-effort" perk
The sacrifices we make
And the selflessness we take
Clashing together making us strong
Surly for us to last long
The hope, belief, and faith
Gives us less fear and more strength
Saying " we can" and "we will"
Knowing no matter what, I love you still
What ever we become of
It will be good because we grow with love

From beginning to end
I hope we never break or bend.
Best friends and lovers, that describes you and me.  
My promises our love for the whole world to see.  
How you make me feel,  
I question if it’s real.  
Its so magical and true,  
with every precious thing you do.  
When I see your smile,  
I stay happy for more than a while.  
When you hold me,
it feels so lovely.  
Even when it rains,  
you know how to take away my pain.  
Kinda think it was fate,  
and how I'm glad we weren’t too late.  
Many feelings mashed together,  
This was probably for the better.  
And with this I promise,  
if we fight I'll be the calmest.  
to try my hardest,  
even if we’re at our darkest.  
Never to play games with your heart,  
no matter close or apart.  
To always be kind,  
and keep you in my mind.  
To always call you my baby,  
even if you’re saying something crazy.  
Never override authority,  
but make you my priority.  
To always give my all  
and make sure I give you a call.  
We have so much room to grow,  
so we might as well take it slow.  
When I'm with you I have so much to say,  
In your arms where I want to stay.  
I’m not just saying this,  
of course I enjoy every kiss.  
If I love, I love with all my heart,  
especially from the start.  
All of this I say is true,  
I’ll never break these words no matter what we go through.  
Maybe I'm writing this all too soon,  
should I wait for many more moons?  
It’s like looking in a mirror,  
just you’re the hero.  
You’re entitled to be treated with honor,  
and proudly let your mind wonder.  
Well deep appreciation,  
this poem is a standing ovation,  
with little distance
and lots of commitment.  
I hope you experience,  
what I hope to you is brilliant.  
I’ll stop rambling now,  
I’m done with the list of vows.  
You probably think I'm crazy,  
But I think you are too baby.  
All of this crowns you king,
enclosed with a ring.

No matter who I meet
Or how i behave
There are those who cheat
And theres me, who gives all I gave

It still will never be enough
Because i'm not her
I will never have the stuff
Me becoming that girl will never occur

You say it so swiftly
"I wish you can be Mel"
Words flew so quickly
You don't even know how I felt

I'm like a penny
you need more of me
To keep you steady
Enough 'till i'm finally she

I'm just a piece
until you finally mold me
and then you're at peace
But you just can't see

I will never be her
therefore i will never be enough
For you, this is a blur
and i need to get tough

Either it's the ones in a relationship
Wanting a side
Not wanting to be patient
Talking with deception not a lie.

Or it's the ones who want  one thing
and for sure
He's not giving you a ring
Just a walk down the hall to the door

Or the ones who kinda want something genuine
But not with you.  
Although it seems innocent
It isn't and sadly he doesn't give you a clue.

This is what hurt feels like
Getting hit by a car
being left for dead
But not dying.
And you cry to be able to know you're still alive
But you're in pain and have a lot of trauma

But I'm wrong
It's worst than that
Especially when he manipulates and convinces me

It's like things are going so well
and out of no where a hot rock hits your head
and it swells
and now you're half dead

It's definitely like
not being able to sleep
Thinking about it constantly
Who to blame
How to make it feel better
how to move on.

Sleeping less than 2 hours a night
walking around like nothing is bothering you
Living with a weight on you
Something that is such a fright
And nothing you can do

Not getting justice from the law suit
Not being able to help when needed the most
Not being able to save your self
Be restrained from the use of your own-self
To the point where you don't like yourself

Esteem low
How can i grow?

Why does it matter
Why do i care
It only gets me sadder
especially by your stare

I can't be helped,
It won't go away.
I'll let the cuts welt,
It will be almost okay.

After a long day of work
You're someone I can rely on
With your subtle quirk
You left me with a smile once I'm gone.

We first met oddly
But you were in the route
Taking me home. But honestly
With you I know little about.

You have a wide range;
A degree, a job.
In a settling - wise age
My heart you already rob.

The whole ride home
you capture my mind.
No where to roam
Just enjoying this time

You're what I saw when I close my eyes,
Someone I hope to see again.
You intrigue me like the skies
And my heart you temporarily mend.

As unrealistic as you and I sound
You have security that reminds.
So I'll wait around
For the random signs.

Ruminating over you
And you're voice that has an alleviating tone
Even though you have a clue.
Thanks for taking me home

The way you looked at me
Before our last kiss
Makes me think we can agree
We had put ourselves at risk.
Thinking we can mask
Emotions forever
Not knowing that this is just draft
And we won't always be together.

You said "let's keep it casual"
Not wanting to commit.
Did it really mean "keep it ******"
But not wanting to admit?
You constantly want it.
Apparently we're a match
Although we're completely opposite
It seems we have no strings attached.

Me through it all
I said I won't feel
Despite I suffer withdrawal
And your simple presence won't heal.
No matter what I'll gain these emotions
So I'm sorry if I cling.
During all this commotion
I'm forever tangled in the strings.

Things are moving fast
considering its been about 5 days.
Reminiscing on the past
Let me in, if i may.

You're now in the pile
finally on the list.
you're a new change of style
as you give me the designer kiss.

we moved past getting to know
because in short time
we're aware but won't take it slow.
Hoping this doesn't end like a squeezed lime.

How can we make this work without a machine?
Seeking superior quality within.
Something that's never been seen
Something not made of sin.

It's hard to find
someone willing to try.
Then i go in deep while blind
probably my results of cries.

You can hold me in your arms
rub my hands
and spark your charms
But at the end, where do we stand?

Watch the sunsets
with our hands clutching
So close to you i sweat
that our lips are now touching

Where do i find it?
How not to get played?
The best benefit
of having it handmade

Strapless dress
Her confidence is high
She know's she's prettier than the rest
but she lets out a lonely sigh

She's nothing but a product of loveliness
Anyone can tell her but she won't believe
She sees nothing but ugliness
Never to be relieved.

She sees a light within
She hopes someone will notice it
More than the sins
And not be a hypocrite

She can't wait to meet him
The one who will be there through thick and thin
The one to light up the dim
He with tough skin

She remembers when it was first felt
Something infatuational
so much so she melted
but it wasn't real or actual

She moved on
she tells herself the lie.
That chapter was full of pros and cons
At least no knots were tied

Yet she still doesn't know she's perfect
everything she does, she does for good
her touch affects
The only thing about her that's understood

Someone will come along
she'll just have to wait
it's worth the delay, she'll write a hundred songs
He will come, even if it's late

I have two useless feet
that can only walk so far,
Far enough for us to meet
on the corner near the special bar

You tell me be there at four
But my legs break down
leaving me home not even out the door
while you're already in town

Although i never show up
you always expect me, with hope
But i leave him with a cold cup
as we connect and tie with a rope

You're the only one
who choose to stay
we have all kinds of fun
because you're the only one who wants to play

The mysterious way
you keep me focused on you
it's these small things everyday
that make me fall in love with you

But this kind of love hurts
no consideration for my feelings
leaving me thirsty in the desert
left me dead bleeding

I say i will walk miles for you
when you want it i -do not
But when i want it- i do
But we can see i'm trailing off a lot

its clear like an empty glass
that i have these feelings
that i gained them very fast
and boxed it in with the ceiling

These infatuations
are like waiting out in the cold
in the never coming train station
because i know your heart is already sold

I'm stuck in my bed alone
and the only thought is you.
So i pick up the phone
Because theres nothing else to do

With the worthless feet
i'll still limp to your place
just to make you pleased
and to see your face

I can't get rid of this
the disease is real.
And your kiss
it does nothing  but break and heal

People speak of letting go.
they say if you do and it comes back
it was meant to be. So
everything will be on a simple track.

No one speaks of letting down
no one knows the feeling of giving disappointment.
how does that sound?
involuntarily letting go for something you did in the moment.

What do you do to make up?
nothing can compare to the upsets towards the expectation.
They drink your reasons and excuses in  a full cup
which isn't real hydration.

you try
instead of doing
why can't we see eye to eye
like the sky blueing

i'm sorry doesn't help
you beg and beg
to compensate for the act that was for yourself.
you didn't know the events ahead

But letting someone down
when they saw better in you
just seeing there face frown
shows how much your love was true

Cracked window
laying on an empty bed
feeling alone and low
from these last words you said

More than i can take,
warmth is what i crave
like cookies that are baked
sometimes i need to be saved

The positivity freezes within,
negativity follows behind.
All of this a sin
yet I'm still kind.

I'm not angry or mad
nor scared nor nervous
nor depressed or sad.
I'm Happy on purpose.

All i am saying
this all makes no sense.
I'm cold, tired, and laying
on this bed 50 feet from the fence.

The words slip out your mouth
Like the smoke of a cig
Warm like a house
Smoke hallow and big

All the toxins stay in you
While your lies show me
What you really do
And the monster you’ll be

Words need oxygen
Something you lack
Saying it without confidence
As you start to attack

“smoke isn't good”
They teach
“Sometimes I thought it was and that I could”
But, you should practice what you preach

My stage name
Are used by strangers.
It’s similar but not the same
It protects be from the dangers

When I speak
Its who I want to be
Not who I am, the real me
What I say, makes me weak

My support
Is the heart of my muscles
A place without sort
And mostly struggles

As my want waves
I see my dreams in front of me
Realizing that this saves,
Saves me from changing into someone I’m trying to be

Every time
I relapse
Paper with a pen on the side
This is true love, perhaps

We wait all year
For a time that leaves us quick.
And what we fear
It consumes us till we’re sick

We meet
We talk
Before we make the big leap
We must slow down and walk

Caring for one another
Forgetting about “never again”
All the good feeling we rather
Than just a heart to lend

Up all night just to talk to someone
Hours a day
And we’re never done
We connect, so there's so much to say

Secrets now told
For so many reasons
Although you love the cold
I love and miss the summer breathing.
Words so real
In this moment in time, ill find the words to say
The words that I feel
Before you leave me today.

To be inspired
Is one’s desire
To be desperate
Is basically separate
From something you don’t need
Craving but no feed
Someone is calling but you leave
Making it harder for me to breathe
Taking my breath away
Like a stormy day
With nothing left to say is mine
Not even my nonexistent heart line
Its hard to say
But next to you I want to lay
To be encouraged to love
And to be appreciated of
Everything I do
Because it’s from my heart and true
The key to love is inspiration
Not Desperation

I was only 16
with so many dreams
So many days for my life time
So many nights to see the stars shine
Tonight I want to throw my hands in the air
Give up because life isn’t fair.
I know, I am young
Its our time to have fun
But when you have no one
You’re practically done.
With one person hanging on you by a thread
You’re mood its red
To understand as to be understood
Isn’t the same, And usually im miss understood
That’s the name I get.
To capture my heart in you're net
Someone can talk to me
But not see
The brokenness inside
Instead they walk on by
My selfish ways
Were on every never days
That’s how often I thought of myself
That I left me on a shelf
Im  probably much too late
But I can ask… was it fate?
I know there may not be another one of you like this
So hurry while you can give me a kiss.
But instead you found someone new
So now my mood is blue
Sad
Now I need words  those so bad
Everything is fine but I wish I dead
My heart for days… it has bled
Through my eyes
I can’t see what was wise
When you find true love
Its something you can’t get rid of
But I see feelings change for some
Was I dumb?
For thinking I could
Im just miss understood.

No this isn’t a katy perry song
But lets figure out what went wrong
From the mistakes
Just for our sakes
When I wanted to die
You’ll make me want to shine
When I want to hide
You’ll take me for a ride
When i feel hate
You’ll show me im great
But why are you gone?
You weren’t next to me at the break of dawn
In another life?
Would we make it right?
Or would you be there on the other side?
Waiting for me to be your bride?
But you left
With the rest
I can’t be here alone
I can’t even call you on the phone
You haven’t left me instructions
And so far its been self destructions.
I see you leaving
And im just here grieving
But before was I naïve
Did you have a plan up your sleeve?
Before all the plans we made
Did our love just fade.
I don’t want you to leave just stay
Don’t be the one that got away.

One winter day
He leans in to me to say
3 words aloud
Because our  boat  is about to drown
Like Ice melting
Our cuts are welting
Into a scab
That was once a stab
Silly sticky skates
Rolls on our date
He says, my baby blue
I love you
Love love love
Is this true?
Love love love
Or is it a quick fix like glue?
But falling for his eyes
And not realizing
My lip touches his
Forgetting out troubles
But now our love doubles

Verse 1
Many times
the fault was in mine
hurting you
isn't what i want to do
i was blind
and i wasted time
leaving you in pain
and to you i say

Chorus
Sorry
my sweet mommy
this is for you
i honestly love you
this is the truth
of all the lies
this time i'll try
to show my love right
especially before you die

Verse 2
Chocolates and roses
and following the laws of Moses
Won't make up
and you'll still have a bump
from my hurt
even with a new shirt
or an ipad
won't make you unmad

Chorus
Sorry
my sweet mommy
this is for you
i honestly love you
this is the truth
of all the lies
this time i'll try
to show my love right
especially before you die

Bridge
I thought i knew more
but i came out as a teenage *****
corrected you
thinking i knew
but all along
i was wrong

Chorus*
Sorry
my sweet mommy
this is for you
i honestly love you
this is the truth
of all the lies
this time i'll try
to show my love right
especially before you die

you're warm
i grasp my fingers around you
and bring you close
because you are true
this feels like love
or i think it is
because you're sweet
with a tasteful bliss
never get cold fast
you are served for anytime
i just wish
i had you all the time
come in many flavors
but you, babe
you are the one i choose
you are my fave
in sickness and in health
good times and bad
just make sure
the sugar is just a tad
because you
are perfect the way you are
i pull you close
even though you're so far

Verse 1
You're supposed to shine in the light
but you end up in the dark
so why did you give up the fight?
your bite is bigger than your bark
a slow blow
and you're in motion
so why can't you show
me your heartbreak condition

Pre-chorus
You're like stars in the sky
made out to shine
but right now

Chorus*
You're dull glitter
really down and bitter
it hurts to see you this way
have you even saw the light of day?
come with me
to live and see
the bright side of life
for a change, be with someone nice.

Verse 2
You brighten a kids day
because you're so shinny and colorful
they want to pick you up and play
remember, her love is true
she never wronged you
she waits
to say the 3 words
before its too late

pre-Chorus
Maybe one day you'll see
that girl
shes me

Chorus
You're dull glitter
really down and bitter
it hurts to see you this way
have you even saw the light of day?
come with me
to live and see
the bright side of life
for a change, be with someone nice.

Bridge
I can brighten you up
just give me a chance
my love is in a cup
just a sip
and we'll be lip to lip

Chorus
You're dull glitter
really down and bitter
it hurts to see you this way
have you even saw the light of day?
come with me
to live and see
the bright side of life
for a change, be with someone nice.

Verse 1
Haven't seen you in a while
but i still see you around
by luck, my sweet child
you're just an old friend
who i have feelings for
so there's no need to pretend

Chorus
Used to walk along and lie
smile but really want to cry
now we're older
no need to be colder
i still love you like i did then
i know you still love me the same
so there's no need to pretend

Verse 2
Growing to mature
what if we're not meant to be
darling are you sure
we won't know unless we try
so baby don't leave me here
don't leave me to cry

Chorus
Used to walk along and lie
smile but really want to cry
now we're older
no need to be colder
i still love you like i did then
i know you still love me the same
so there's no need to pretend

Bridge
Yea, you never did send
me the right messages
please tell me what you feel isn't pretend
its all real
i know it, its what i feel.

Chorus*
Used to walk along and lie
smile but really want to cry
now we're older
no need to be colder
i still love you like i did then
i know you still love me the same
so there's no need to pretend

Verse 1
Goodbye is too strong
but i was a bit wrong
of the idea of us
and my fear of lust
too imaginative they say
kept thinking 'someday'

Chorus
Farewell for now
sir take a bow
you hurt so well
and it felt like hell
i won't for get you
as my love remains true
but i must stop trying
and end my crying
no this isn't a lie
so farewell and goodbye

Verse 2
I must move on
to someone who loves upon
me
someone you didn't see
who loved you
but as times goes on
the sky remains blue

Chorus
Farewell for now
sir take a bow
you hurt so well
and it felt like hell
i won't for get you
as my love remains true
but i must stop trying
and end my crying
no this isn't a lie
so farewell and goodbye

Bridge
you never noticed
before i leave i'll give you one last kiss
why did i hold on to nothing?

Chorus*
Farewell for now
sir take a bow
you hurt so well
and it felt like hell
i won't for get you
as my love remains true
but i must stop trying
and end my crying
no this isn't a lie
so farewell and goodbye

What to expect?
All i ask id for one thing
and it's respect
and you come with an empty ring.

Did you care
about feelings?
What is fair?
Now i am going through several healing.

What you do
was low
Me loved by you?
I didn't  think so

Lately i had a thought
of you and i together.
is that how it's ought
to be or am i just a dreamer?

What if we were meant to be?
what if, if I'm blind
and i can't see,
that this just isn't our time

This makes it harder
thinking of what we could be
what if you find another
who can love you more than me?

I feel like of millions
there's just you
who can give me these feelings
that seem to be so true.

I wonder if you feel the same
for me do you cry?
Who are we to blame?
What if we just try

They grade you
Based on the truth

You try
To win the race, but it's always a tie

Me? I am lazy
My lack of work is told to be crazy

Then when it ends
A panic begins

Scared out of my mind
Good grades to find

My brain can do it
But i choose not to do it

I might die today as i show my mother this card
But it could of been prevented if i tried hard.

It’s cold.
You can press your finger on the window
And you’re warmth is so gold
As you **** out the 0° below.

So far away
Yet I felt you  
So close today
Like you were next to me, it’s true.

Last night I felt you next to me
I even said your name
Because I thought you would see
And nothing will ever be the same

Lastly I woke
And you were near me last night
I wish you could have my hair in strokes
But you were my knight.

During the cold,
your jokes made me warm
even when my world folds
and it's the worst storm
you are there
making me smile
with the slightest glare
within our mile.

Where you're near,
I'll make sure
I have no fear
Just love to the core.

In my dreams
I see us,
You and I,
Nothing but trust.
Everything feels so real,
but none happen when i wake
and my heart you steal.

When will our love happen?
Then my heart will suffer kidnapping.