pacify me
hold me until the sun rises
blood orange over the horizon
tell me i'm the only one
as if i didn't know
bury my fears
as deep as my head on your shoulder
hold me closer
closer, closer

doubt wrapped up, she struggles but i soother her
for what do i know without her?
fear, the closest comfort. cradled like an infant.
when the light slipped through
arms exposed and shut my eyes
hesitancy to grow through the dirt of my mind
but caution in the warmth provided

"Stop" you said. Not a nice tone. Bossy and elitist straight down to your bone. Peppering your eggs to perfection, not a thank you in my direction. Who did you think you were? When you woke up next to me, did you know? That if you kept up the ******* I would go?"

" **and I went to this show" Oh cool, another punch and blow. Every time we hang out, I hear that name. Stabs sharper than a knife. I started to make a tally in my phone, to make myself feel less crazy. I'm starting to realize.

The day you asked me why I was smiling. We were out to breakfast and I was just happy to have this moment with you. Happy to see you. Happy to be with you. Was I not allowed to be happy?

Affectionately scratching your hair after your show. "What are you doing?" You were happy to show me off to your friends, saying I'm your "groupie". But not in private.