yours is all I ever want to be.

The moon wanted to hug me
The stars tried to console me
I was cold, sitting on the edge of a windy cliff bleeding love
And he just stood there till i felt he was gone.

even when she cries,
even when she yells,
she's beautiful.

The tide is laced in my veins, in every emotion, nerve, cell, atom.
It has taken the ability to love from me because no matter how many times I try to plant a kiss on the shores of someone's heart, they keep sending me way.

I've been wearing a mask for so long
Hindering my ability to let people see me for who I really am
It's hard to breathe behind this mask
It's getting hot

For about six years,
I haven't been able to control my emotions.
For about six years,
I've struggled to wake-up in the mornings without wanting to change who I am.
For about six years,
I have given-up every single poistive thing about me
because I am hooked.
For about six years,
I thought I was cool.
For about six years,
I thought my life was riding high on "Cloud-9"
For about six years,
I've been dependent on any chemical that will alter my mind.
For about six years,
I've struggled to look at my own reflection.
For about six years,
I've made my family cry and push me away.
For about six years,
I've watched friends come and go.
For about six years,
I've been lying to the people I love.
For about six years,
My life has been nothing but a blur.

For about six years,
I've wanted to stop.

And today
will be
that
day.

If I had told you
that I was made of mud and soil
and grass and sea water
combined over two decades
you wouldn't have understood.

If I'd said my bones were branches
my hands blooming nasturtiums
my toes pebbles on a beach
on the east coast of England
you would have rolled your eyes.

If I'd said your skin after a shower
smelled like warm ground after rain
and your voice was honeycomb
your kisses strawberry jam
you'd have found it strange.

I've known you seventeen years
yet we don't know each other at all.
If I'd told you everything I believed
you'd have thought me childish.
You never did like poetry.