I could lie and say it was an accident
but I've always hoped to accidentally see you one more time
We were both driving somewhere, different directions
I feel like there is a joke there
and I know you didn't recognize me
I changed how I look a lot since you last saw me
I wasn't sure what I was expecting
but this longing certainly wasn't it

I remember how you claimed to read me like a book
And then left me on the shelf
Forgotten by the person
I could never forget
Slowly quietly
Hiding behind closed doors
I remember
The time I loved you
Quickly frantically burying my tears
In the cloth of my sleeves
I remember
The time I loved you

Self mutilation
Tattooed invitation
Thoughts confused
A razors used
Skin engraved
Scars won't fade
Mind unwind
Blood divine

I have lived with you for so long
I have come to the realization
That breaking mirrors and
sleepless nights will not help.

And I can't keep dying like this any longer.
These battle scars were meant for you,
but we both know
you always wanted more.

So I'll make it routine,
When I feel like I might drown,
To dance and sing
To your suffocating song

And I'll embrace what we've become.

White, my hands of ice
Warmed by the chilled blade upon my palm.
A touch of red
Blurs pink.
No light,
Just white, and fade
The frozen air begins to warm
as the water drips from my soul
onto the bedroom floor.

I saw forever in your eyes. . .


                Then you closed them.

this poem
is not about you

even though
your spirit is in every word
your voice sounds strong
in the halls of my mind
telling me things
I am now sure
I want to know

this poem is
about me

trying to understand
you