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Kyla 3d
one day she was sent
to a man sprawled ‘cross the pavement
in blistering sun
he, ignored by everyone.
the nice girl instinct compelled her,
alongside Hippocratic responsibility as a doctor.
her good samaritan arc began,
he her neighbour, the collapsed man
she offers him aid,
and suggests he move to the shade.
her medical assessment deems him well
but onlooker pressure to do more, she cannot quell.
he asks her to buy him heavy drink-
she tells him to have another think.
they compromise and she buys him food
just like a good samaritan should.
She wishes him a good afternoon
but all too soon
the tale begins to muddle
as he approaches for a ‘cuddle’
her sense of unease
overwhelms her compulsion to people please
“I’d rather not but all the best though”!
- he snaps and his true colours show.
the nausea hits
as he starts to shout about her ****
and chips at her sense of self respect
with an accusing “you look like you like ***”
she fights irate tears
over his leers,
summons her tough
and states that’s enough.
when he spits on her feet
she backs down the street,
maintains her false front
as he yells ******* ****.
words shouldn’t cut
but she’s branded a ****
and yes, we should not give to receive
but oh how i grieve
that to help is to choose
sexist abuse
i want to follow jesus’ ways
but he did not have to contend with the ******* male gaze
Kyla Jun 22
i cannot blame you Father
if i am not one of those you gather,
if i am not a chosen believer.
given the choice,
i wouldn’t choose me either
Kyla Jun 22
i burn with fury
he could leave me
but i don’t have that luxury
he saved himself from me
i am held hostage
by this obligation to live
his abandonment is not termed
selfish the way mine would be
so i stay,
alone with the knowledge that i am someone people leave.
someone everyone leaves
i wish i could leave too
Kyla Jun 17
better is the biggest fairy tale of all time
the mirage in the desert before
a promised land i’ll never reach,
predestined to dwell in the wilderness
with my gloom my doom
i run i move in search of better
i cut i purge i cry
i therapy i forgive i help i give
i try
yet still better eludes me
Kyla Jun 16
till the instant I sleep,
from the moment I waken
my God, oh my God
I feel so forsaken
Kyla Jun 11
she keeps one finger on the steering wheel
some of the time, a half *** deal
she speeds because she’s perpetually behind
but deep down at the back of her mind
should an accident just happen to occur,
this would ensure that she would not recur.
should cancer take her body as its host
her reaction would perhaps be more positive than most
for no one would reason her apathetic bent
the why, when she would not opt for treatment.
she danders in storms because she would rather like
to be the victim of a lightning strike
she knows it’s selfish but
she can’t help but wish
there was a collateral free option to cease to exist
all she wants is to simply fade
to softly escape the mess of life she made
it ebbs and flows, the urge to act is tidal
hence why she is termed; passively suicidal

sometimes i let go of the wheel
Kyla May 22
lying on a road of cars,
empty beneath the sky of stars
I ask the God who made them,
He who said do not fear
Who am I?
Where go I?
Why am I here?

My God, oh my God
I feel so endlessly lost
My God, oh my God
Neither leave me nor forsake me
Whatever my cost
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