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Kyla 1d
the blood drips from my fingers
meets the blood on his palm
i hear the voice that whispers
behold- here i am
Kyla 1d
i knock on the door
my knuckles raw and bleeding
only to find
i did not survive the weeding
Kyla 1d
perhaps it isn’t right
but i needed God not in hindsight
nor footprints in the sand
I simply needed your hand
Kyla Jun 30
one day she was sent
to a man sprawled ‘cross the pavement
in blistering sun
he, ignored by everyone.
the nice girl instinct compelled her,
alongside Hippocratic responsibility as a doctor.
her good samaritan arc began,
he her neighbour, the collapsed man
she offers him aid,
and suggests he move to the shade.
her medical assessment deems him well
but onlooker pressure to do more, she cannot quell.
he asks her to buy him heavy drink-
she tells him to have another think.
they compromise and she buys him food
just like a good samaritan should.
She wishes him a good afternoon
but all too soon
the tale begins to muddle
as he approaches for a ‘cuddle’
her sense of unease
overwhelms her compulsion to people please
“I’d rather not but all the best though”!
- he snaps and his true colours show.
the nausea hits
as he starts to shout about her ****
and chips at her sense of self respect
with an accusing “you look like you like ***”
she fights irate tears
over his leers,
summons her tough
and states that’s enough.
when he spits on her feet
she backs down the street,
maintains her false front
as he yells ******* c* * .
words shouldn’t cut
but she’s branded a s
* *
and yes, we should not give to receive
but oh how i grieve
that to help is to choose
sexist abuse
i want to follow jesus’ ways
but he did not have to contend with the f** male gaze
Kyla Jun 22
i cannot blame you Father
if i am not one of those you gather,
if i am not a chosen believer.
given the choice,
i wouldn’t choose me either
Kyla Jun 22
i burn with fury
he could leave me
but i don’t have that luxury
he saved himself from me
i am held hostage
by this obligation to live
his abandonment is not termed
selfish the way mine would be
so i stay,
alone with the knowledge that i am someone people leave.
someone everyone leaves
i wish i could leave too
Kyla Jun 17
better is the biggest fairy tale of all time
the mirage in the desert before
a promised land i’ll never reach,
predestined to dwell in the wilderness
with my gloom my doom
i run i move in search of better
i cut i purge i cry
i therapy i forgive i help i give
i try
yet still better eludes me
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