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Kyla 19h
she keeps one finger on the steering wheel
some of the time, a half *** deal
she speeds because she’s perpetually behind
but deep down at the back of her mind
should an accident just happen to occur,
this would ensure that she would not recur.
should cancer take her body as its host
her reaction would perhaps be more positive than most
for no one would reason her apathetic bent
the why, when she would not opt for treatment.
she danders in storms because she would rather like
to be the victim of a lightning strike
she knows it’s selfish but
she can’t help but wish
there was a collateral free option to cease to exist
all she wants is to simply fade
to softly but swiftly escape the mess of life she made
it ebbs and flows, the urge to act is tidal
hence why she is termed; passively suicidal

sometimes i let go of the wheel
Kyla May 22
lying on a road of cars,
empty beneath the sky of stars
I ask the God who made them,
He who said do not fear
Who am I?
Where go I?
Why am I here?

My God, oh my God
I feel so endlessly lost
My God, oh my God
Neither leave me nor forsake me
Whatever my cost
Kyla May 22
to spend the rest of my life missing you
i told you this, and you said you felt the same way. yet, here we are
Kyla May 22
merrily through this world we go
purging in every toilet bowl
lol
Kyla May 21
the boy loved God so much
he had no love left for me
i poured my love into his overflowing soul
and ended up in a biblical proportion drought of my own making
it’s hard to love the source of your lack of love
Kyla May 21
A glass against the wall
It broke
Her skin
Slashed from within
Alcoholic disinhibition
Exposed her underlying condition
Of the urge to take, to end the days
Of a girl imperfect in every way
Waiting for a day when she didn’t wish
That she wasn’t born, she didn’t exist
Kyla May 21
the tightness increases
i have to leave
wrist to elbow
i can’t breathe
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