For a brief moment I thought you loved me too

I caught a glimpse of perfection
                                            But it rejected me.

I don't know what's so **** poetic
About drinking black coffee
And being depressed
What's so 'sad yet beautiful'
About crying in the rain
Because nothing about the hurt
Is beautiful
It's ******* pain
In your chest.
It's a sick stomach
And it's not eating at all
Or eating too much.

Nothing, nothing
Is poetic about it.
It's not beautiful.

It's ugly.
And it's there.
And it won't ******* leave,
No matter what you
Write about it.

The words burned into memory
their weight I carry still
your happiness turned to anguish
your shimmer seemed to fade
the person that once stood there
saying "only you control your fate"
no longer stood before me
I knew not, who you were
instead you were a dark man
with lifeless heavy eyes
saying "I used to get high on life,
now I just get high"

The truth is one of those late night chats made me fall deeply in love with you. The truth is I love your smile, I love the games and the teasing.
I was only ever upset with the guilt that came with being so deep and you NOT being mine.
I love the dimples in your cheeks and the way the light hits your eye. I loved when you played tough and when you think your a tough guy because I can see through all that  and I've watched it melt. I love the sarcasm and how you can handle my jokes.
I've only ever been defensive and pushed you away because I'm terrified to be hurt again. You know what I've gone through can you really blame me?
I love you and I'm hopelessly jealous of not having you...I'm not sorry I'm just in love. And I don't think you really know and it kills me everyday

Late, late, late.
Late work, late period, late date.
Nothing good comes out of being late.
Late, late, late
Dread fills you stomach, tears fill your eyes,
You just can't believe you messed up by being late
Late, late, late
You want to fix it, but can't
Nothing can undo time, you're stuck being late
Late, late, late
Nothing good comes out of being late

Penaltypitstop looks
Pretty ha ha, a joke
No ! , penaltypitstoplooks
Out to the great outdoors
Through the kitchen window
Almonds in glorious bloom
Majestic Cyprus at attention
A huge don't know what
Others lurk here and there
Blue sky with a hint of cloud
BUT, and this is a big BUT
Sheeps , yes , yes many sheeps
A German friend thinks
Sheeps is the plural of sheep
Oh well , words are words
These sheeps are not allowed
To be seen , out of my window
Someone without sense
Has left ,A ****** gate open
I'll get changed into 'Superwoman
RIGHT , here I am, and there they are
GONE !WHAAAAAT, I checked
Some kind person , has flocked them back
PHEW !