All my life I've tried to provide for others
I've kept trying to put people back together;
I ride the tide of their most stormy weather,
but I have yet to actually make anyone better.

I failed because I never knew where to begin.
I learned over time we must heal ourselves within
before helping broken people as a mission
but even that simple beginning, I can't win.

Shattered into pieces, I know not how many years,
only that I cannot remember a time without tears.
The struggle is more than real, it's all my fears
and there's total misunderstanding amongst peers.

All I ever wanted was to make another whole,
to reach out to someone and fix their broken soul.
It was foolish of me to try and it has taken a toll
leaving me empty, miserable and with no goal.

I don't think I can ever mend myself right,
I keep trying, but I never win the fight.
Every now and then I think I see the light
only to watch it dissipate into the night.

I stay awake thinking deeply about our world
and how I am merely but one broken girl
searching through waste, looking for a pearl
but whisked away in defeat as it whirls.

If I can't save myself, or anyone at all,
I'm not sure I'll ever be able to stand tall.
I will weep until the day I crumble and fall,
knowing I couldn't change a thing, nothing at all.

-to be human is to sin

you tell me that good people are everywhere
but where are all these good people
when the facts are screaming
"emergency, emergency"
"alert, alert"
when the facts say
that almost every ******* this planet
has at least once in her life
been touched in a way she didn't consent to
the facts say that most ****** predators
are known to the children
fathers;
fathers have ***** their daughters
while mothers cry silently
because the world does not want to hear
the stories under the blanket
the guilt and the shame
the pain.
the pain.

you say there are good people
show me
show me
that boy who gives to charity
his hand rode up my skirt last week
that girl who prays five times a day
she watched as her boyfriend called me a *****

my five year old cousin knows what it's like to be penetrated

i lost my virginity before i got my period

my best friend doesn't want to be touched because she sees her ******'s face in every man

i was blackmailed by a boy who said he wanted to marry me

my mom;
my mom and i have bonded over
what it feels like
to have
a man inside you
who doesn't
doesn't
belong there

what kind of god wants an empty heaven?
because the kind of people on this earth
the filthy **** who carved their names between my thighs
there are too many
there are too many
men who have done
women who have watched
silent observers
silent thieves
murderers
no one says anything
then they pray to god
but their sins
their sins are on my skin
see me
see me as i burn
see me as i burn
because if these repenters
who have lived their lives
hurting others
who say their grace
then stuff their ***** in my face
if these repenters
are who i will find in heaven
then i do not want to go
i do not want to go
to a heaven with them
i do not want to go
to a paradise
that looks a whole lot like hell

but if god
chooses to not forgive these repenters
then heaven will be empty
because we are sinners
we are all sinners
we ask for forgiveness
then do it again

i have lied
i have cheated
i have wished ill upon another

tell me; am i good person?
was he a good person?
when he ***** me then apologized
when he ***** me then prayed
when he ***** me then cried
and said he made a mistake

when he ***** me
said sorry
and did it again.

if he makes it to heaven
i'll take the other train
if he does not
then none of us will
because our devils are too clean
and our angels too *****

i'm not quite sure if i'm looking for repentance or for revenge
i have done wrong and i have been wronged
is there a place for me in heaven?

what kind of god wants an empty heaven?
what kind of god wants a heaven full of sinners?

where is the god that will love me?

where is the god that will forgive me?

Angels are from up above

They come down to protect us

Secretly caring for us

And showing us the way

They are the one thing

That is never too far away

You may get lost and wonder

Where are you today?

You will ponder and search

The whole day away

Although they do good

They don't like to be seen

You wouldn't even notice

If they were hiding behind a tree

They are very secretive

But your secrets they keep

You may not always see

When they spread their wings

They leave behind

A little sign for you

That you could find

Whenever you're in doubt

Feeling all alone

Your angel will come back

While you're on your knees

To give you relief

They will be by your bedside

All through the night

They will hold you tight

And not want to let go

They stay awake

While you're asleep

To keep you safe

Until you need

But when they are gone

Don't be scared

Because really

They are always there

Without your notice

When you beg and weep

Your angel will be on their feet

For they will be there

To ease you from your pain

Your angel is from up above

They come down to protect you

Secretly caring for you

And showing you the way

They are the one thing

That is never too far away

Forever i will hold you
Forever i will love you
Forever i will kiss you
Forever I will need you
Forever I am yours
Forever you are mine
Forever and ever until after time
Forever locked inside our eternal bliss
Forever knowing true loves kiss

You're away
tonight
but still I linger
waiting
and a whisper
a shooting star carries
'goodnight'
falling
into your eyes
from my fingertips
like the way
I fell
in love *(with you)

It hurts —
My body aches for your embrace;
My mouth yearns for your kisses.
God, I really wish we didn't have to…
But you understand.
It’s for the best, right?

It hurts so much
Here in my heart:
Where you should be;
Where traces of you still linger
In the crevices of my brain
And in the chambers of my heart.

I’m sorry.
I know it’s hurting you, too.
I still love you;
And I know you still love me.
But maybe we weren’t supposed to be.
Not now, at least.

But someday,
When we’ll start right;
When we don’t have to hide what we are;
When we can show the whole ******* world
That they were wrong —
That we were, indeed, in love

I believe

That we’ll find our way

Back to each other.


No matter how long


Or how far.



I will wait with you.




I will wait.