I’ve been on the run
and I think you’ve known.
I can’t stop this fear,
I’m caught in the headlights like a deer.
I’m back and forth,
you’re south while I seem to be north.
Polar opposites?
Those attract, don’t they?
Or am I making up excuses for me to stay?
See, I’m not quite sure anymore,
it’s always been that I’ve had one foot out the door,
ready to run
with no worries under the sun.
But now there’s you,
and I’m actually contemplating what to do.
Our love is like a hurricane; damaging, epic, and beautiful.
And when I’m with you, it’s something so youthful.
Now the fear’s dissipating,
and what’s next is what I’m anticipating.
For the first time there’s promise,
even though our relationship is the furthest thing from flawless.
I’m still running, but I’m not running away,
I’m running to you and the journey is already underway.
You’ve changed me for the better, and I can’t disagree,
I love the thought of a forever with you and me.

Well of course it’s dangerous,
they certainly promise it won’t be painless.
You’ll break, and crumble,
all your words will get jumbled.
Curious?
It can twist you in knots,
all while you’re still trying to connect the dots.
Hell, the happy ending isn’t even promised
and this is me being honest.
Curiouser?
There’s no way to prepare,
it’s only way is to ensnare.
But you’ll be okay with that trap,
you’ll still be trying to understand its map.
Figure it out?
This crazy thing we call love,
it’s the most twisted game you can think of.

My problem is that I give.
I give until I have nothing left,
and then when I’m a fraction of myself,
I wonder why this is.
My problem is that I love.
I love without so much as a thought
of being loved back, and then when
they don’t love me back, I’m heartbroken.
They teach you about drugs;
pills, powder, injections.
They teach you about alcohol,
and its addiction.
But they didn’t teach me about that need,
inside of me to fit in, to be seen.
They didn’t tell me it’d chew me up,
and spit me out.
See, they didn’t tell me about love,
or giving until you have nothing left
in hopes of fitting in, in hopes
of feeling something so magical
it’s like you’re drowning.
So I gave until there was nothing left,
and they took without so much as a thought about their theft.
And I loved, loved until I thought I’d run out,
wasting it on people who didn’t care or deserve it.
That’s my problem.

You’ve got me trapped.
Got my body mapped.
Hands like sin,
when our bodies are skin on skin.
You’re an addiction,
your love a sweet affliction.
You’re the air I breathe, but you’re polluted.
You being good for me could be disputed.
You’re a poison, flowing through my veins,
but your love has left it’s stain.
Your lips make me burn with desire,
but our love seems to be fenced in with barbed wire.
I can’t love you without hurting,
to most it’s a little disconcerting.
But I don’t know which is worse,
because not being able to love you would be a curse,
but a blessing in disguise
because I know eventually our love will be my demise.
And I’m wondering what to do,
but all I can hear are your words, *“Baby, I’m bad for you”

Self-love;
it’s such a concept
and there’s no time for this nonsense
from society, blabbing on about what size we should be.
Open up a book,
society’s view on how we should look,
has changed so much
but feel the contours of your own body under your touch.
You’re beautiful.
We want so badly so be accepted,
and in that we’re all connected.
But this image of beauty keeps shrinking,
And it’s got me thinking,
if we just accept each other
we could get rid of these stereotypes that smother
our uniqueness, and know our differences
aren’t our weakness, but our strength.
It’s in our power,
to take charge and not cower
at the harsh words of society
and all their notoriety.
Love how you look,
and close society’s picture book.

The sky was lit with fireworks,
subtly laying the groundwork.
Our wandering eyes met,
and I swear I heard a string-quartet.
The childish blush that overcame my cheeks,
seemed to appear in hot, red streaks.
You walked nearer and my eyes twinkled with anticipation,
thinking you were to make some grand declaration,
of our feelings that needed exploring,
see, it felt like my heart was soaring.
I didn’t realize that in the drink you were pouring,
was what would ruin everything for me.
My voice was lost so quickly you see,
because you seemed to know little ol’ me.
It wasn’t until it set in,
the walls seemed to move from where they had been.
My mind was clouded in the darkness,
and now I’m thinking, "how could you be so heartless?"
But not like the song,
no, nothing about us was like music, easy and flowing.
You took from me, what wasn’t yours to take,
I’d been a blank slate,
but by then your wandering eyes,
had looked like they’d won a prize.
We didn’t fit together like puzzle pieces,
I still remember how my dress had creases.
The next morning was worse,
it was then I watched my trust in men ride off in a hearse.
The pools of blue that once intrigued me,
resurrect within what seems to be a raging sea
of emotions, that I cannot suppress
and it’s you that got me into this mess.
I’d been in love with you since I was sixteen,
something that now seems so obscene.
So at eighteen, I thought you’d finally seen me,
but now you’ve seen more of me than need be.
That bet you made with your friends,
left me with a darkness that descends,
especially when I sleep,
leaving me to feel like a black sheep.
But, as time has passed,
within me there’s been a huge contrast.
I will not be a ‘victim’ anymore,
and someday I’ll feel my heart soar.
I’ll experience another fleeting glance,
and one day, I’ll give love a second chance.