I'm so much more
than what they see
who judge
based on the little
that they think they know
of me.

As I light up
This last blonde cigarette,
I think of music,
Of boats sailing through smoke,
Smog.
Stars that fall in the ocean,
Cosmonauts drifting through space,
Their ship destroyed
Like a mother who has given birth.
Memories of photographs.
I think of her
As usual.

Look outside and watch the snow
If you see it falling then just go!
Have some fun in those pure white fields

Make an angel out of snow or even an entire man
And enjoy the winter as long as you can

You could also simply just go and sledge, if you find a hill
Surely that could give you a nice little thrill

Or enjoy the cold, cuddling your lover
A chocolate milk and a blanket would be a nice cover

Or you could write
Under an starlit night
Full of wonder and delight
Amazed by this season and its might


~ Umi

sometimes i'm overwhelmed
by everything around me
i felt i should fight back and never give up
i still have hope and courage
to do things right
but i have to be a little patient
no more crying
no more sadness
and no more emptiness.

that’s why I won’t stop believing
in my dreams and goals in life
if i can
you can
guess what, let’s be strong!
and fight till we feel the power of success
when we win this fight
let us do it again and again.

Being suicidal when you’re really young is so sad and weird because you stop seeing yourself in the future, you can’t even imagine what you could possibly be doing in a year from now, sometimes a month and each day you're wondering if today is the day, the day you have enough courage to do it, or if someone will handle it for you. You're walking down the street and a speeding car is coming, you don't move, you hope it hits you. You lose hope, it makes it harder for you to get better, or believe that it ever will. You start to live as if you're dead already..

I have no reason to be sad.
I have food on my table,
I live in a luxurious stable,
I’m not disabled nor financially unstable.
Everything I want, I had.
So please explain to me how I went all bad?