My days are surely
but slowly
getting warmer

I'm marveling
in this new sun
unaccustomed to such warmth.

But as the days go on
I still live
in perpetual fear
of winter

Because winter is so much colder
So much darker
Once you've felt summer

I never dreamt
I would get you back

Deep down
I knew
I didn't deserve you

I grew accustomed
to my nightmares

So accustomed
that you brought
to much joy
to be real.
Only a dream
and nothing more.

So please darling
don't wake me
I have a long day ahead of me

I used to love snow
I looked forward to it every year
I always mourned it's passing
Eagerly awaiting next year

But now
As I grow older
I grow fonder of spring
Because now
I have many more winters
And too few springs

I have a hard time
Feeling good
About who I am
Today

Because I hate
The circumstances
That made me like this
Yesterday

So I'm hoping
That things will change
So that I can love myself
Tomorrow

I don't know what to say
When people ask what I'm afraid of.

Because worse than
Spiders
Heights
And Drowning
Is time

Because
Every day
I get closer
To leaving

Every day
I get further away
From my fondest memories

Everyday
My childhood
Slips away
Even more

Every day
Every minute
Every second
I'm closer
To losing you
When I'd much rather
Be closer
To my last breath.

I pride myself
On being studious
Good Grades
Always Reading
I should know it all
Shouldn't I?

So how is it
That when you came along
I realized

I knew next to nothing

Being mad at you
Is so hard

Because everyday
I catch myself
Wanting to tell you something
And remembering
I can't.

I see something
I know you would like.
I take a bite of something
and remember
It's your favorite flavor.

It's like
You're still haunting me.