When I was younger,
I wanted to be an artist.
I aspired to be someone
who made a difference,
like
Picaso or Vincent Van Gogh.
Someone who was remembered.

So like every little kid who has a dream,
I pursued it.
Saving up all the allowence I earned
In just 3 weeks
I had a total of $12.80.
Enough to fund the dream of a child.

I realized,
I loved drawing.
From the minute I picked up my
$2.50 pencil,
I knew my dream was going to come true;
Even if it started with doodles...
of flowers and stick people.

So eventually I grew up and I gave up that dream
of being an artist that makes a difference.
I gave up,
because I couldn't master drawing the perfect person.
I couldn't draw
how the persons eyes shinned when they saw the love of their life,
I couldn't capture
the beauty in the young girls smile
as she ran through the field of daisys towards her father,
who was coming home from war.

I realized that you can't capture the beauty and the memories
that someone holds
with a dream and a $2.50 pencil.
drawing // a.s.

Sometimes-
I wish you would look behind my eyes,
And listen to me when I'm silent.
I wish you would pick through my thoughts-
And automatically know how I feel.
I wish you could see the view I have of the world-
That I cannot explain out loud.
God, I wish you could see what I think,
When I'm silent.

I love you but i wish i didn't
because you give no love back
i sleep lonely next to my pillow
wishing it were your chest
I dont know how much more i can take
all the loneliness and regret
I love you and im glad i do
but i wish you would love me too

I don't wish for you, it would not be fair.
I don't wish for us to fall in love, you might not want that.
I don't wish for my own happiness, that would be vain.

I wish that I could write beautiful poems for you.
I wish that you would cry after reading them.
I wish that you would keep them folded up in your back pocket.

I don't wish that you will be happy forever, where would that leave me.
I don't wish for all the money in the world, I could not buy talent.
I don't wish for a cure for cancer, there would still be death.

I wish that I could make you happy when it's raining.
I wish that money would cease to exist solving a pretty amount of problems.
I wish for a cure for life.

everything i do
is always done better.
and i understand--
why you'd rather choose her.

she kicks me down
and stomps me into the ground,
because she's not even
competing
in this stupid
competition i've manifested in my head.

i sing, she sings it better.
i write, she writes it better.
she plays it better.
she wears it better.
she cooks it better.
she will always be better than me.

but just know that i have,
and always will,
try my best.

*(but her best is better.)

She's screaming to me
It's shrill
Her throat is made of liquid
Then there are those words
She crows
Beckons-
She hates me
I thought it was okay
until I heard her

"Stop crying!"
... she's winning
She's so much stronger
Why can't you be like her?
She's so much stronger
Flawless face
Gorgeous eyes

"Wipe those droplets, girl"
"Breathe."
"Shout back."
"You're better than that."

She's better now
than before.

Maybe
because she realized
that it's time to get up
and move on,
to forgive
and forget,
to be happy
and contented.

There is a girl sitting alone.
She isn’t perfect but tries so desperately to be
Because that’s what you are.
She picks herself apart for being who she is
But really, she is just waiting
For you to tell her that she deserves someone as good as you.